JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Worst2First: My Top Ten Sports Movies There's not a whole lot I know about sports.  I don't particularly play them, and I don't really care to watch them.  Basically, everything I've learned about sports come from the movies, and there's been some really spectacular sports movies out there. So here are my top ten sports movies, Worst2First... **There will be no spoilers.** #10 The Wrestler Darren Aronofsky is one heck of a director who enjoys fully messing with your mind ("Requiem for a Dream," "Pi"), and he gives us an unflinching look at the world of wrestling through the eyes of Randy "The Ram" Robinson, who was once the best of the best, and now has sunk to incredible lows, living in a trailer, and working at a minimum wage job.  This shows the dangers of abusing your body for the sake of your sport, and re-invents former heartthrob Mickey Rourke as a shell of a man, and earned him an Oscar nomination for this ro...

Dope Starring Shameik Moore, Tony Revolori, Kiersey Clemons, Kimberly Elise Directed by Rick Famuyiwa The Story: Malcolm Adekanbi (Shameik Moore) is a senior living in the rough end of Inglewood known as "The Bottoms" with his single mother.  He's a very intelligent person who is enthralled with 90s style, music and fashion, which are all reasons why he's constantly bullied and labeled as a nerd in a rough school district.  All he has is his future dreams of going to Harvard, his music, and hanging out with his friends Jib (Tony Revolori) and Diggy (Kiersey Clemons).  One day he comes into contact with dope dealer Dom (A$AP Rocky) who invites Malcolm and his friends to a party.  Things go terribly wrong, and Malcolm ends up with a backpack full of the drug Molly, and is caught in a drug war that pits him and his friends in the center.  He has to sell the drugs, and comes up with an ingenious way of doing so, all the while fearing for his life and a...

Ex Machina Starring Alicia Vikander, Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, Sonoya Mizuno Directed by Alex Garland The Story: Computer coder Caleb Smith (Domhnall Gleeson) wins the right to spend a week with the reclusive CEO of the company he works for, Nathan Bateman (Oscar Isaac), on his remote island home.  Upon arriving, he learns that Nathan has been working on the ultimate scientific experiment - artificial intelligence.  He thinks he's created the ultimate A.I. in Ava (Alicia Vikander), and enlisted Caleb to perform a Turing test - a series of interviews that will determine if the A.I.'s awareness and personality are comparable to that of a human, or if it's greater than it. Upon communicating with Ava, Caleb is spellbound by her beauty and begins to show true feelings for the A.I., which conflicts with the test while testing Caleb's ability to understand the situation himself - who is really playing whom? The Synopsis: "Ex Machina" (a take off...

Goosebumps Starring Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush, Ryan Lee Directed by Rob Letterman The Story: After living in New York City, Gale (Amy Ryan) and her teenage son Zach (Dylan Minnette) move to a small town in Delaware where she gets a job as an assistant principal.  Zach doesn't like his new boring surroundings until he meets his neighbor's daughter Hannah (Odeya Rush), who is quickly whisked away by her overprotective father (Jack Black). Determined to find out about his mysterious neighbor, Zach enlists the help of his new friend Champ (Ryan Lee) to find out what's going on.  After sneaking into the house, they find a shelf full of Goosebumps manuscripts that have been locked, and Zach accidentally unlocks one of the books, and the Abominable Snowman appears. Hannah's father reveals himself to be the author of the Goosebumps series, R.L. Stine, and that the monsters in his books are actually alive and kept under lock and key.  Having escaped,...

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Samuel L. Jackson Directed by George Lucas The Story: Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) has been kidnapped by General Grievous, and during an epic battle Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) are able to rescue him.  Upon returning home, Anakin learns that his secret wife Padame (Natalie Portman) is pregnant, and he begins suffering terrifying nightmares. Palpatine appoints Anakin as his representative to the Jedi Council, but they will not give Anakin the rank of Jedi Knight, which infuriates Anakin.  As Obi-Wan goes on the hunt for Grievous, Palpatine begins to corrupt Anakin's mind, tempting him to the Dark Side by promising a power that will enable him to cheat death itself. Coupled with his fear of losing Padame and his anger toward the Jedi Council, Anakin decides to join the Dark Side, and is renamed D...

In the Heart of the Sea Starring Chris Hemsworth, Benjamin Walker, Cillian Murphy, Tom Holland Directed by Ron Howard The Story: In 1850, young Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) visits the home of Thomas Nickerson (Brendan Gleeson) to implore him to tell the story of the doomed Essex, a ship supposedly demolished by a huge whale.  At first he is reluctant because he doesn't want to re-live the past, but after some prodding from his wife, he agrees and tells the story that would inspire Melville's classic tale "Moby Dick." Under the command of Captain George Pollard (Benjamin Walker) and his First Mate Owen Chase (Chris Hemsworth), the Essex sets sail in hopes of finding precious, valuable whale oil.  Also aboard the ship is Owen's old friend, Second Mate Matthew Joy (Cillian Murphy) and a young cabin boy named Thomas Nickerson (Tom Holland). As the ship sets sail, Pollard and Chase come under constant disagreement, with Chase feeling he should've b...

The Boy Starring Lauren Cohan, Rupert Evans, Jim Norton, Diana Hardcastle Directed by William Brent Bell The Story: Traveling to England to escape a dark past, Greta (Lauren Cohan) takes the job as a nanny to young Brahms, whose parents (Jim Norton & Diana Hardcastle) are taking a much-needed vacation.  However, after she arrives at their sprawling castle mansion, she learns that Brahms is no ordinary boy - instead, he's a life-sized porcelain doll.  Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire treat the doll like a child, and issues Greta a list of rules and a schedule she has to follow in order to keep Brahms happy. After they leave, she forms a friendship and relationship with Malcolm (Rupert Evans), a local townsman who delivers groceries to the secluded home.  He tells Greta the history of the real Brahms and what happened to the young boy, and Greta feels she can relate to the situation. However, things soon start turning spooky.  It starts with seemingly innocen...

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee Directed by George Lucas The Story: Ten years after the Trade Federation attacked Naboo, Senator Padme (Natalie Portman) returns to Coruscant to vote on a plan to create an army of the Republic when she is almost assassinated.  The Jedi Council enlists Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to investigate the assassination attempt, while his Padawan apprentice Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is brought on to protect Padme and return her to Naboo. Anakin and Padme begin a forbidden relationship, while Obi-Wan discovers the assassination attempt was just the tip of the iceberg, as an underground Separatist enemy force led by the mysterious Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) is plotting an all-out attack.  As Dooku's plan comes to light, it will take the entire Jedi Order, as well as a Republic army, to stop him. The Synopsis: "Attack of the Clones...

The Revenant Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter Directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu The Story: In 1823, a group of men searching for pelts to sell come under attack by the Arikara tribe, whose leader is searching for his daughter who was taken.  Most of the men are killed, but some manage to get on a boat and sail away. Under the leadership of Andrew Henry (Domhnall Gleeson), he takes the advice of expert tracker Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) to ditch the boat and travel on foot, which upsets John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy), who has a dissenting opinion.  While out searching for animals, Glass is viciously attacked by a grizzly bear and near death.  As the group try to carry the critically injured Glass, they learn the Arikara are right on their heels, and Henry makes the difficult decision to leave Glass behind, with Fitzgerald, young trapper Bridger (Will Poulter), and Glass's Native American son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) ...

Worst2First: Alan Rickman's Best Films Alan Rickman was a larger-than-life presence both on the silver screen and the theatre, a man with wide range and someone best known for his one-of-a-kind voice and slow, methodical delivery.  He won a Golden Globe in 1997 for Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV for his role in "Rasputin," and was heralded as one of the great actors of our time. On January 14, 2016, the world mourned upon hearing Alan Rickman passed away from cancer at age 69.  This came as a shock to many, as he never publicly expressed his battle, and he even continued working.  His final film, the political thriller "Eye in the Sky," will be released March 11th.  Throughout the decades, he's delivered some exceptional roles, and narrowing them down to just ten was a struggle, but these I feel are his best performances. #10 Dogma He only served as a supporting character here, but the limit...