JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Southpaw Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker, Naomie Harris, Rachel McAdams Directed by Antoine Fuqua The Story: Billy Hope (Jake Gyllenhaal) had a rough childhood.  He grew up in foster care, and there he met and fell in love with Maureen (Rachel McAdams).  They grew up together, got married, and had a daughter Leila (Oona Laurence).  Billy worked on his boxing skills, and rose to fame and fortune as the World Light Heavyweight Champion. One night Maureen suddenly dies, leaving a grieving Billy and Leila alone.  He spirals out of control in a drug and alcohol fueled rage, resulting in him losing his mansion, his money, and most importantly his daughter to foster care.  At first he is unable to cope with all the events going on around him, until he turns to trainer Titus Wills (Forest Whitaker), a boxing trainer who works with underprivileged youth.  Seeking a job to show the courts that he can hold down a steady job, Billy begins studyi...

Jupiter Ascending Starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean Directed by The Wachowskis The Story: Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) hates her life - she has no aspirations, and she works as a maid for rich neighbors with her overbearing Russian mother.  She feels insignificant, and has a rather pessimistic view of life. Meanwhile, on a far away planet, siblings Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middletown) are arguing over their murdered mother's inheritance, as they serve as the three most powerful beings in the universe.  Balem has a refinery on Jupiter and uses humans as a way of creating an eternal youth serum, something Titus wants destroyed.  Balem wants to rule Earth, but his reincarnated mother lives on Earth, so he wants her dead - again. Titus sends Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), a half-man, half-wolf bounty hunter or something to rescue Jupiter, and in doing so he tells her that she is the most powerfu...

Ant-Man Starring Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll Directed by Peyton Reed The Story: Back in 1987, scientist and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) has decided to resign when he found out the company wanted to duplicate his Ant-Man technology and Pym Particles to create a new breed of soldiers. In modern day, Pym has been removed from his company by his estranged daughter Hope van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) and protege Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), who is using Pym's technology to create the Yellowjacket - an antithesis to the Ant-Man in hopes to sell it and create an army of miniature soldiers. Meanwhile, thief Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) has just gotten out of prison and is living with his fellow thief Luis (Michael Pena).  He wants to see his daughter, Cassie, but his ex-wife Maggie (Judy Greer) and her new cop boyfriend Paxton (Bobby Cannavale) won't let him until he starts paying child support.  Unable to find a job due to his cri...

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Starring Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, Neal McDonough, David Henrie Directed by Andy Fickman The Story: Paul Blart (Kevin James) foiled a big Black Friday heist at the mall he was a security guard at.  Because of that, he gets to marry the girl he loves.  Six days later, she leaves him.  Then his mother dies by getting hit by a milk truck.  Six years later, no one really remembers what he did, nor do they really care. Then he gets an invitation to a security officers' convention in Las Vegas, which he attends with his daughter Maya (Raini Rodriguez).  He thinks he's the keynote speaker, but that's not the case.  While there, he meets other security guards as well as the general manager of the hotel, Divina (Daniella Alonso), who he feels harbors feelings for him. Meanwhile, a gang of highly technological thieves led by Vincent (Neal McDonough) plan to replace the Wynn's paintings with frauds, and only Paul Blart can so...

Maggie Starring Abigail Breslin, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joely Richardson, Bryce Romero Directed by Henry Hobson The Story: A virus has overtaken America, turning people into flesh-eating monsters.  No one knows the cause or the cure, but once you're bit, it's only a matter of time before you go. Young Maggie Vogel (Abigail Breslin) gets bit, and her father Wade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) takes her home to take care of her for her final weeks on earth.   As the days progress, Maggie gets worse, and Wade slowly comes to the realization that he has only three choices: take her to quarantine, give her a sedative that will end her life (albeit very painfully), or end it quickly.  Or there is always the fourth option. The Synopsis: I am a huge zombie fan, probably to the point of fanatical.  I spend time thinking what would happen if a zombie apocalypse happens.  I look at places and think those would be good spots to hole up in the event of such an even...

Minions Starring Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney Directed by Kyle Balda and Pierre Coffin The Story: The Minions have existed since the beginning of time.  They've got one purpose - to find the biggest, baddest, evilest boss to work for.  Throughout the centuries they've worked for a T-Rex, a caveman, Egyptian pharaoh, Dracula and Napoleon Bonaparte, but somehow manage to bumble things so badly they end up accidentally killing them, forcing them to find a new boss. After years of searching they settle to stay in an Antarctic cave, but as the years go by they become bored and depressed.  Kevin, one of the Minions, decide to step out and find their new boss, and brings along guitar player Stu and Bob - because no one else wanted to volunteer - on his trek. They arrive in America where they attend the Villain-Con and meet the evilest person alive, Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock), who agrees to let them work with her.  She flie...

Chappie Starring Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sharlto Copley, Yolandi Visser Directed by Neill Blomkamp The Story: In Johannesburg, robots have been created to help combat crime.  The inventor of these robots, Deon (Dev Patel), wishes to create artificial intelligence, and finally cracks the code to do that.  He wants to create a robot with a consciousness, to teach it art, science and beauty, but that's counter-productive for his boss, Michelle Bradley (Sigourney Weaver), who wishes to create more robots as weapons. Meanwhile, in the mean streets of Johannesburg, Ninja (Ninja) and his girlfriend Yolandi (Yolandi Visser) are in deep with a criminal syndicate, and decide to find a way to turn off the robots so they can complete one major heist.  To that end, they kidnap Deon and a decommissioned robot, but once Deon tells them he has the means to make it a sentient being, they allow him to reprogram the robot to be used for their crimes.  Thus Chappie (Sharl...

Tomorrowland Starring George Clooney, Britt Robertson, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy Directed by Brad Bird The Story: As a young child, Frank Walker (George Clooney) had a vivid imagination and an inventive spirit, inventing a jet pack that sadly didn't work.  He presents it nonetheless to Nix (Hugh Laurie), who dismisses Walker's efforts, but draws the attention of Athena (Raffey Cassidy), who gives Frank a mysterious pin.  Frank is then transported to Tomorrowland - a world beyond our world, home of Earth's most prolific artists, engineers, dreamers and inventors. Decades later, Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) is a quizzical teenager who obsesses with keeping a decommitioned NASA launch pad active so her engineering father could still have a job.  It is during this time that Athena drops another pin in Casey's helmet, which she finds after being arrested for breaking and entering.  She discovers that, when she touches the pin, she's transported to Tomor...