No Tell Motel

-
No Tell Motel
Starring Rileigh Chalmers, Johnny Hawkes, Chalie Howes, Andrew MacFarlane
Directed by Brett Donowho


Decades ago, young Angela (Rileigh Chalmers) was accidentally killed on the road in front of her family's small motel.  Today, five friends come upon the abandoned motel in search of safety after a car accident, and find out that the motel isn't the only thing harboring deadly secrets.

I've seen a plethora of cheap horror films, but this one takes the cake for the biggest waste of time, worst talent, lamest story and convoluted progress.

These five "friends" are the worst type of friends you could ever imagine.  Included in the group is a druggie, a rapist, a cutter, someone who was involved in a hit and run, and someone who just discovered they're pregnant.  None of the friends apparently know about each others' secrets, but the motel brings them to light - by using them as a means of killing each of them.

As far as acting goes, this wins the prize for the worst.  The first friend dies after being hit by a car, and none of her fellow friends even shed a tear.  They literally leave her in a ditch and help out the drunk who killed her.  Minutes later they're laughing.  Then a girl falls in a hole and the guy goes for help, but finds drugs instead, and totally forgets what he's doing.  This goes on throughout the film, where you don't even ask what they're doing, but instead ask yourself why you're watching it.

The only rare light in this dim film is the fact that it's terribly humorous.  Better than most comedies in fact, but I don't think that's what the director was going for.

My Rating: D- 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Major Theatrical Releases May 2019

-
Image
Major Theatrical Releases May 2019 After the hype that is "Avengers: Endgame," May offers a massive collection of differing types of movies, enough to entertain everyone. Here are the major theatrical releases for May 2019. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE**  The Intruder May 3 Dennis Quaid goes from starring the family-friendly "A Dog's Journey" to playing a total psycho in "The Intruder."  When a young couple purchases a home from Quaid's character Charlie, they didn't realize it came with an addition - Charlie himself, who can't seem to let his old home go.  I don't expect any twists or turns in this tale, and this looks like a film better fit for Lifetime than the big screen.  Long Shot May 3 Charlize Theron stars as Charlotte Field, the current Secretary of State and who's running for President.  Seth Rogen stars as Fred Flarsky, a
Read more

Witch

-
Image
Witch Starring Russell Shaw, Ryan Spong, Sarah Alexandra Marks, Fabrizio Santino Directed by Craig Hinde & Marc Zammit Movies about witches are about a dime a dozen, and follow the same formula: typically set in a time period long ago (since now, fortunately, the stigma of witches has been lessened and the religious fervor has diminished), in a small Puritanical town, a girl is accused of witchcraft which spirals the town into a frenzy filled with suspicion, doubt, and murder until the witch is put to religious justice. While that's not necessarily a bad formula (Robert Eggers' "The VVitch" and Mario Bava's "Black Sunday" immediately come to mind), most films fall by the wayside. "Witch" is a small film that, at first glance, seems to follow the mold before completely shattering it in a second act twist that's daring, provocative, and works in a lot of levels, but could've been more pronounced if given a bigger budget. In the small
Read more

Special Review: "Midwest Sessions"

-
Image
Special Review: "Midwest Sessions" Directed by Mario Ricciardi Independent filmmaking is a fascinating concept, wherein the director and everyone involved sets out to make something unique, different, and go against the traditional status quo of what's defined as a "blockbuster." These films aren't usually seen by the masses and won't be included in the top ten highest grossing movies of all time, but they offer something those films don't: a heart and commitment by the people involved to craft something wholly distinctive that tell a story in their own way. Such is "Midwest Sessions," a local film directed by Mario Ricciardi that centers on the city of Youngstown, Ohio, and the captivating people who live there. Told in different vignettes that seem distinct and different from one another but coming together as a whole in the end, it's an engrossing film that utilizes its shoestring budget and gives great performances, decent effects a
Read more