JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Machine Starring Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill, Iva Babic, Jimmy Tatro Directed by Peter Atencio For anyone who's not into stand-up comedy, the name Bert Kreischer wouldn't be known to you, but for anyone who's a diehard fan of stand-up, he's one of the legends. Known as The Machine, his biggest claim to fame is the story he tells of when he was a frat boy on a school trip to Russia, where he gets in with a group of mobsters and end up robbing a train. Doesn't really sound like something comedic, but Kreischer pulls it off with his effortless charm, charisma, and self-defecating humor (he's also known for being shirtless, and rocks a dad bod like none other). The movie "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" was based in part on Kreischer's story, and now he's taking center stage in "The Machine," which is loosely based on his stand-up routine. Sadly, this proves that sometimes the transition from stand-up to big-screen isn't as sea...

The Mother Starring Jennifer Lopez, Lucy Paez, Joseph Fiennes, Gael Garcia Bernal Directed by Niki Caro For most audiences when they hear Jennifer Lopez, they think of her as a romantic comedy lead actress in films like "Marry Me," "Maid in Manhattan," and "Second Act," but in reality her acting resume is rather padded with different genres. Not only has she tackled horror ("Anaconda") and animated ("Home"), but she really hit it big with neo noir thrillers like "Blood and Wine" and "U Turn," along with action-packed films like "Money Train," "Out of Sight," "The Cell," and "Enough." Yet it's been since 2013 after the bomb of "Parker" that Lopez relegated herself to the romantic comedy lead, and now she steps back into the genre that made her a movie star with the Netflix original "The Mother." While it's a welcomed return, the film itself is just al...

White Men Can't Jump Starring Sinqua Walls, Jack Harlow, Teyana Taylor, Laura Harrier Directed by Calmatic We're almost halfway through 2023, and already we've been "gifted" with two totally abysmal, soul-less, cheap cash grab remakes of beloved - if not flawed - comedies of the 1990s. It started in January with "House Party" (which I haven't seen yet to be fair, but I'm about 100% convinced it's gonna end up on my bottom of the year list when I finally want to punish myself enough to watch it), and now it's "White Men Can't Jump," a remake of the classic 1992 film starring Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez. While that film wasn't exceptional by any means, it's held a longevity that's lasted the last thirty years (and even earned a standing ovation when the three reunited at the 2022 Oscars), and I doubt that in 2053, there'll be a standing ovation for the long-awaited reunion of Sinqua Walls and...

Kandahar Starring Gerard Butler, Navid Negahban, Ali Fazal, Travis Fimmel Directed by Ric Roman Waugh Gerard Butler is an actor who's typecast into the generic role of being a one-man army going against countless nameless killers and always finding a way to survive, and now it seems that he's accomplished something a little different. Back in 2013, he starred in the film "Olympus Has Fallen" where he's tasked with protecting the President from a terrorist attack at the White House, and in that same year the movie "White House Down" was released where Channing Tatum had to protect the President from - you guessed it - a terrorist attack at the White House. It's not that often two films that basically center on the same theme are released in the same year, but Butler did it again in 2023 with the release of "Kandahar," about an undercover CIA operative who must find his way out of enemy territory in Afghanistan with the help of his translator...

Book Club: The Next Chapter Starring Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen Directed by Bill Holderman While the majority of movies playing at the theaters are big budget action blockbusters, superhero films, sequels, and horror films, there's still a little niche market for those moviegoers who don't care for any of those, and most of them are the more "seasoned" people who've been around for awhile and want to see a film featuring actors of their own age doing something fun and carefree. 2018 saw "Book Club" hitting theaters, centering on four lifelong friends who come together to enjoy books and each others' lives, and it grossed over $100 million worldwide. A sequel was greenlit, but then the pandemic hit, but after it ended the four women returned for the next chapter in their "Book Club" franchise, and while it won't blow people away with its cerebral storytelling, it's still a little enjoyable film celebra...

Fast X Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Momoa, Michelle Rodriguez, Charlize Theron Directed by Louis Leterrier Growing up my mom watched soap operas, and they all had the same type of storyline: feuding families, love, betrayal, deaths, people thought dead coming back from the dead, evil twins, and the like. "The Fast and the Furious," now ten films into its twenty-two year run, is basically a soap opera for men. It has everything the daytime soap operas offer, but masked with strong masculinity, fast cars, and even faster with the rules to science, as the "family" we've come to know and love have done everything from get involved in small-time street races to aiding a government organization in stealing a drug lord's safe, driving through high rise buildings, send cars flying out of airplanes to land safely on the ground, and, yes, even send cars to outer space. Yet through it all the concept of family remains the franchise's core, and that family's life ...

Knights of the Zodiac Starring Mackenyu, Famke Janssen, Madison Iseman, Sean Bean Directed by Tomek Baginski American cinema needs to understand that making a beloved Japanese manga into a Hollywood action blockbuster will...never...work. "Dragonball: Evolution," "Oldboy" (the 2013 remake), "Ghost in the Shell," and even "The Last Airbender" (yes, I know Avatar isn't manga, but you get my meaning) have proven that the concept of turning manga into a movie always seems to miss something in the translation, and that tradition continues with the forgettable, bland, boring, lackluster "Knights of the Zodiac," which is just as generic as they come, filled with uninspired action sequences and CGI that might've worked well in the early oughts, but not now. Seiya (Mackenyu) is an underground fighter who's a street orphan with memories of his sister getting abducted and giving him a necklace resembling a Pegasus, but doesn't reme...