JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Dracula Starring Caleb Landry Jones, Christoph Waltz, Zoe Bleu, Matilda De Angelis Directed by Luc Besson By now everyone knows the story of Dracula, from Bram Stoker's iconic 1897 novel based on the real Vlad the Impaler, a ruthless ruler who impaled the heads of his victims on pikes. Dracula is a vampire who murders and turns others into vampires to do his bidding, and is the most well-known of them all - so much so that in the last five years there's been four Dracula-based movies. Much like the zombie genre, it might be time to put Dracula back in his coffin for a few decades, especially after Luc Besson's abysmal version that basically is the Temu version of the iconic Francis Ford Coppola's "Dracula." Prince Vladimir of Wallachia (Caleb Landry Jones) and his wife Elisabeta (Zoe Bleu) are living the life of luxury in his castle when his land comes under attack by the Ottomans, and in the ensuing battle Elisabeta is murdered. Vladimir renounces his belief ...

Iron Lung Starring Mark Fischbach, Caroline Rose Kaplan, Troy Baker, Elsie Lovelock Directed by Mark Fischbach Very rarely is there a movie I go into totally blind - no reviews, no trailers, no synopsis, no information whatsoever. "Iron Lung" is one such film: a movie that all I knew of was the behind-the-scenes work that was done to get it finished, along with a mysterious movie poster that I, for some reason, thought was a werewolf (I have no idea why). I also knew it was based on a video game that I never heard of, but after seeing the movie I looked into it and it seems like a "Five Nights at Freddy's" style game - one location, one person, looking through pictures and traversing an unrelenting landscape in a submarine. Not knowing anything about the game served as a detriment for me, however, as those who knew the game really liked the movie while I found myself confused and somewhat bored with the proceedings, but it doesn't take away from the monument...

Send Help Starring Rachel McAdams, Dylan O'Brien, Edyll Ismail, Xavier Samuel Directed by Sam Raimi Have you ever had that one boss you couldn't stand? The one who constantly gaslights you, puts your down, and critiques your work above and beyond others? Who's favoritism is so glaringly obvious it makes you see red as you get passed up for opportunities that you deserve and are more qualified for over their friends? Then "Send Help" is just the movie for you - where a mild-mannered, meek, unassuming yet highly intelligent and capable woman finds herself under the thumb of an oppressive, younger boss until the tables are turned, resulting in a gleefully delicious power swing filled with all the bells and whistles you'd find in a Sam Raimi-directed film. Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) has worked in the Planning and Strategy department of Preston Strategic Solutions for seven years, and has earned the respect of its founder. Yet after he dies and he passes control...

  Mercy Starring Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Kali Reis, Annabelle Wallis Directed by Timur Bekmambetov The idea of the "ticking clock" is a gimmick movies and television shows do to illicit excitement and anticipation in the viewer. It's easy to tell a story that can end whenever it wants, but when you're up against a timeline that gets closer and closer to some sort of catastrophe, your excitement levels go up because - even though 99.9% of the time everything is resolved at the 1 second line - we think that the end will come before the final verdict is reached. So when you have a story that could technically last awhile, but decide to throw in the "ticking clock," it turns something more mundane into an exciting thrill ride even though logically it shouldn't be. In the near future, lawmakers in Los Angeles along with LAPD detective Chris Raven (Chris Pratt) create the Mercy Capital Court, a judicial system controlled by Artificial Intelligence that ...

We Bury the Dead Starring Daisy Ridley, Brenton Thwaites, Mark Coles Smith, Matt Whelan Directed by Zak Hilditch The zombie genre, much like its subject, has risen from the dead on multiple occasions. 1932's "White Zombie" introduced the concept, and it got a major overhaul with George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" in 1968, which gave birth to how we see zombies today: shambling undead who desire to eat the living, and the only way to kill them is damage to the brain. Numerous iterations have continued the genre, with the likes of "The Walking Dead" focusing more on classic shamblers while "World War Z" and Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead" introduced fast runners who are far more terrifying. Lately, however, it seems the zombie genre has returned to the grave, and while "We Bury the Dead" offers something a bit different, it won't be enough to make them crawl out of their graves again. On the island of...

Blue Moon Starring Ethan Hawke, Margaret Qualley, Bobby Cannavale, Andrew Scott Directed by Richard Linklater When you hear "they don't make movies like this anymore," Richard Linklater's "Blue Moon" would be one such film - a movie that doesn't include lavish set pieces, explosive action, twists aplenty, or exciting camera movements. What "Blue Moon" is is something magical: a one-set location movie that centers fully on conversations and character development, devoid of any of the bells and whistles that would distract people from the story being told. While that might fascinate some true cinephiles, it's not something this TikTok generation desires - quick, thirty second bits to keep them entertained. It's a dry movie, but one that highlights the exceptional acting talents of its stars, particularly Ethan Hawke, and makes you feel like you're watching a play on the big screen - which is no surprise, considering the film's the...