JoeMama's Movie Reviews

In the Grey Starring Henry Cavill, Jake Gyllenhaal, Eiza Gonzalez, Carlos Bardem Directed by Guy Ritchie There was a time where Guy Ritchie was one of the most sought-after action directors in Hollywood. With hits like "Snatch," "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels," and especially "Sherlock Holmes." His style is uniquely his: relentless editing, exquisite locations, fashion to the nines, self-mocking machismo and a character's verbal summary of a plan intercut with scenes of the actions being performed. Maybe it became too generic, but with the exception of his live-action remake of "Aladdin" (which doesn't include much of his original style), recent Ritchie films have been met with shrugs rather than shouts. "Fountain of Youth," "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare," "The Covenant," "Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre" and the like are churned out by the year with no fanfare, and fade into obsc...

Over Your Dead Body Starring Jason Segel, Samara Weaving, Timothy Olyphant, Juliette Lewis Directed by Jorma Taccone Movies are great when you expect the unexpected, when twists and turns keep you on your toes and are left wondering what wacky thing will happen next. "Over Your Dead Body" is, at its core, a simple story - a couple who've fallen out of love go to an isolated family home in order to secretly kill one another, and if that was the entire story, it would've felt like it dragged. Yet, both for good and bad, there's a few twists thrown in that does keep things entertaining, even if it kills the pacing and tone, and occurs far too soon. Dan Burton (Jason Segel) is a former movie director-turned commercial director and doesn't have a lot of money because he foolishly spends it, while his wife Lisa (Samara Weaving) is a community actor who has aspirations to become an actress but is constantly belittled by Dan. They decide to take a trip to Dan's fa...

: Faces of Death Starring Barbie Ferreira, Dacre Montgomery, Josie Totah, Aaron Holliday Directed by Daniel Goldhaber The year was 1978. The term "viral" then only referred to a sickness that people got, not something that would permeate society almost fifty years later. A movie called "Faces of Death" seemed to predict the future of viral media, as the movie itself was banned in several countries for apparently being a snuff film - it centered around a doctor intrigued by death and shows what seems to be real deaths of people. While most of it was fake, the movie did incorporate actual news programs of the day, along with real autopsies and other real death scenes, but the most shocking ones were made up for the film. The movie has become a cult classic, and the 2026 "Faces of Death" asks the question: what would happen if someone today wanted to remake it, but make it real? Would people know the difference, or would they even care? After a tragic acciden...

  Mortal Kombat II Starring Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Martyn Ford Directed by Simon McQuoid There's a reason why most video games don't adapt well to movies, and that's because there's no story to be told. "Mortal Kombat" has been an iconic fighting game since 1992, and while many of them have razor-thin lines of story, they just exist for players to rapidly tap a button to skip it and get to what made the gaming series so great: the over-the-top gore when it comes to the "finishing move." Two movies in the 90s were notoriously bad (although now have gained cult followings), and the 2021 reboot was a bit too serious for its own good. Now with "Mortal Kombat II," director Simon McQuoid seemed to finally get it: people don't go to a "Mortal Kombat" movie for rich dialogue, cerebral storylines or multi-layered characters: they come for the fights. To that end, he more than delivers, as this sequel ...

Deep Water Starring Aaron Eckhart, Molly Belle Wright, Angus Sampson, Ben Kingsley Directed by Renny Harlin I've never been a fan of flying, and it's been over twenty years since I've set foot on a plane, and I have no intentions to ever do so again. While everyone says it's the safest way of travel, I hate not being in control, and also not trusting a piece of metal between myself and 30,000 feet of air. This is why plane films often give me the willies because I can't help but imagine myself in that situation, so "Deep Water" was a film I was sure would give me those same feelings. The only feeling I had, however, was boredom - while this is a decent film to turn your mind off to, I simply couldn't do it, and somehow, someway, this movie not only managed to make air crashes boring, but shark attacks as well. While on a flight from Los Angeles to Shanghai, a fire breaks out in the cargo hold which causes pilots Rich (Ben Kingsley) and Ben (Aaron Eckha...

  That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime the Movie:  Tears of the Azure Sea Starring Miho Okasaki, Saori Onishi, Nao Kosaka, Kaho Fujishima Directed by Yashuhito Kikuchi Continuing my anime adventures with watching movies based on long-running franchises I've never seen, my buddy and I saw "That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime the Movie: Tears of the Azure Sea." I've heard of the title before and wondered what it was about, and on the ride there I got a crash course on the first four seasons - a man is murdered and is reincarnated in another world as a slime with the ability to absorb the powers and appearances of other beings, in a nutshell. Fortunately, I didn't need a lot of background information for this movie, as the tale itself is one as old as cinema itself, brought to vivid life with astonishing animation, intense action, and compelling performances. Heading on vacation from an invite from Elmesia El-Ru Sarion, Rimuru Tempest (Miho Okasaki) and his co...