JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." This is taken from Ecclesiastes 1:1-2 in the Bible, and was traditionally thought of to be written by King Solomon, the most intelligent and powerful man in the world at that time. He had amassed vast wealth, women, and property, and supposedly wrote this book at the end of his reign, proving that you can have all the earthy riches of the world but in the end find it all meaningless.  This is also the opening sequence in the Mario Ricciardi-directed follow-up to his fantastic debut film "Midwest Sessions" called "Dead Man Walking." The film follows a company man named Joe (played by Thomas Kushner) who is tasked with an assignment - travel across the Midwest to deliver legal documents to a mysterious purchaser whose documents could hold cosmic implications. Ricciardi is well known for blending ...

Mutiny Starring Jason Statham, Annabelle Wallis, Jason Wong, Roland Moller Directed by Jean-Francois Richet Jason Statham has fully fallen into the Liam Neeson trap - doing any low-grade action movie that's handed his way. He used to star in major motion pictures like the "Fast and the Furious" franchise, "Spy," "The Expendables" and "Meg," but now he's resorted to films like "Shelter," "A Working Man," "Operation Fortune" and "Wrath of Man." Basically each movie has the same premise - Statham is a one-man wrecking crew who dispatches numerous unnamed baddies before confronting the big bad and murdering him in a ruthless way. Not necessarily bad, these movies are just mid at best, serving as perfect movies to watch on a Saturday afternoon when you're doing housework or having something on in the background, and "Mutiny" is no different. After spending a life in service in the military ...

Don't Move Starring Lyndsy Fonseca, Tom Cavanagh, Russ, Rob Riggle Directed by Maclain Nelson Rarely does a movie arrive that I know nothing about, but while looking through my Regal app for a movie to see I came across "Don't Move," and thought to myself, "I've never heard anything about this." So I ignored the trailer, imdb, and any articles about the movie before going into it. Then I realized the mistake I made. This movie is a creature feature that's reminiscent of the classics and had all the B-rated gore and comedy you'd expect, but the creature in this movie is something that terrifies me in real life: a massive spider. While obviously done with VFX and looking nothing like a real spider, I found myself cringing in my seat numerous times, and I was pleasantly surprised by the emotional heft that the movie also held. One year after a tragic event, Megan (Lyndsy Fonseca) decides to go on a church camping trip led by Pastor Rizzo (Tom Cavana...

V/H/S/Mixtape Starring Barbara Crampton, Jihad Brent, Alex Hsu, Neela Jolene Directed by Flying Lotus, Renee Zhan, David Moreau, Ernest Dickerson, RZA   2025's "V/H/S/Halloween" was one of the best in the long-running franchise, showcasing different directors delivering their take on Halloween horror hijinks and making for a great Halloween tradition. Sadly, the follow-up, "V/H/S/Mixtape" has the opposite effect. Not only is it the worst in the franchise, but it wastes its opportunity to tell thoughtful, terrifying stories all centering around sound. What we get instead is a lazy, haphazard set of shorts (with the exception of one, but even that might be because it was the last one and therefore better by comparison) that is devoid of scares, filled with subpar performances, and sadly a waste of time. This wraparound story is directed by Flying Lotus and basically features the band GWAR doing their bit - being strange, wearing outlandish costumes, and acting alm...

Your Mother Your Mother Your Mother Starring Mahershala Ali, John Cho, Giancarlo Esposito, Abubakr Ali Directed by Bassam Tariq Can an assassin have morals? How does one's devout religious standing and their job of literally killing people go hand-in-hand? Is there such a way that's possible? "Your Mother Your Mother Your Mother" is an intriguing, powerful, and thought-provoking movie that centers on these questions, but also serves as a microcosm of today's society: in this, a devout Muslim man is also a righteous assassin, taking down the enemy which is an overly zealous group of Christians bent on killing a man for something he didn't do, but something they believe he did. There's more to this than even that, as the assassin himself is a family man who is more ready to seek out breast milk for his baby than seek out murder. Latif (Mahershala Ali) is a trained assassin who kills using a bladed weapon rather than guns, and is a devout Muslim family man, t...

Whalefall Starring Austin Abrams, Josh Brolin, Elisabeth Shue, John Ortiz Directed by Brian Duffield Anyone who's been to church as a child knows the story of Jonah. A prophet of God sent to Nineveh to preach repentance instead cowers and runs away, only to be swallowed up by a great fish (many misinterpret it as a literal whale) where he spends three days and nights inside it before repenting and God causing the fish to vomit him out. "Whalefall," in many ways, feels like a modern day equivalent of this tale: a wayward son, an overbearing father, and a great fish that causes the son to learn a valuable lesson. Jay Gardiner (Austin Abrams) was never close to his seafaring father Mitt (Josh Brolin), who always seemed to insult Jay and treat him harshly, especially compared to his two daughters. This causes Jay to resent and hate his father, leading him from his home in California to Idaho for school. However, after his father comes down with an incurable disease, instead o...