JoeMama's Movie Reviews

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater Directed by Mary Bronstein I'll never know how it feels to be a mother, and hopefully never know how it feels to be a father either. Some people are born caregivers and parents, while others aren't, and I certainly fall into the "aren't" category. I can't imagine all the weight being a parent has on a person, let alone a mother who has really no one else to turn to. The weight seems unbearable, and when your child is dealing with a strange illness, it's even more unimaginable. That's what life is like for Linda in "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You," a rare tour-de-force performance by the generally comedic Rose Byrne in a once-in-a-career role. Linda (Rose Byrne) is juggling a lot right now. Her husband Charles (Christian Slater), a sea captain, is away for a several-month tour. Her daughter (Delaney Quinn) is consistently talking and bei...

The Secret Agent Starring Wagner Moura, Carlos Francisco, Tania Maria, Roberio Diogenes Directed by Kieber Mendonca Filho Some movies out there lead you by the hand in the direction they want you to go, while others craft an eloquent, subdued, sweeping story on its own terms and leaves it up to you to traverse the journey yourself. "The Secret Agent" is one such film, a sweeping, poignant, deeply character-driven epic set during the military dictatorship of Brazil in 1977, and one man's journey to bring his mother's legacy to life, reunite with his son, and also has a mysterious past that threatens to end his life. Armando Solimoes (Wagner Moura) arrives in Recife, the capital city of Pernambuco, Brazil and meets up with his contact, the elderly Dona Sebastiana (Tania Maria) where he stays in her complex with other political dissidents hiding from their pasts. She calls him "Marcelo" to hide his identity, and gets him a job at the city's identification c...

 Worst2First:  My Most Anticipated Films of Spring 2026 Leading up to what cinemas consider summer (which runs from May to August as opposed to June to August), theaters are going to be popping during the two spring months of March and April! From sequels to horror films and some exciting original content, there's something for everyone to see on the big screen in March and April. So here are the ten films I'm most excited to see in March and April of 2026... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10 Lee Cronin's The Mummy April 17 Back in 2017, Universal tried to re-vitalize its classic monsters with Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" and the result was nothing short of disastrous. It killed the entire universe with one movie, and the idea of a mummy was put back in its cinematic sarcophagus. Now, "Evil Dead Rise" director Lee Cronin has opened that sarcophagus with his own modern day rendition of "The Mummy," and while i...

Scream 7 Starring Neve Campbell, Isabel May, Joel McHale, Sam Rechner Directed by Kevin Williamson There's been movies marred in production hell, consisting of behind-the-scenes stories that would make some actual movies blush. "Scream 7" is one such troubled production. Radio Silence was slated to return to direct after they brought the franchise back from the dead in "Scream" ("Scream 5") and "Scream VI," and both Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega were set to reprise their roles, becoming the new faces of the franchise. In November 2023 Barrera was fired when she spoke out against the genocide in Gaza, and the next day Ortega left the production (depending on who you talk to, it's either because of loyalty to Barrera, scheduling conflicts, or the fact that Radio Silence wasn't actually returning due to scheduling conflicts in filming "Abigail"). Bent on striking while the iron was hot, the producers panicked and brought bac...

I Can Only Imagine 2 Starring John Michael Finley, Milo Ventimiglia, Sammy Dell, Trace Adkins Directed by Andrew Erwin & Brent McCorkle Music has the power to transform us and reach our innermost being, touching areas that remained locked through other means. Music is used in all types of situations - musicians rouse up millions of fans at concerts to jump, shout and dance; meditative music soothes our overthinking minds; even cults use chants to lull their followers into believing what they're told to; churches also use music to usher in the presence of God to the congregation (or, for those who are unbelievers, use music to manipulate a sense of other-worldliness). Music brings back memories and unites us through different countries, ages, and ethnicities. It's a beautiful thing, and Christian music is the music that touches the soul more than others. MercyMe is one of Christian music's most well-known bands, and its lead singer Bart Millard wrote "I Can Only Ima...

Cold Storage Starring Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Lesley Manville, Liam Neeson Directed by Jonny Campbell B-rated horror is a fantastic subgenre for anyone who wants to see a horror movie but not be scared by it. These films generally center around a creature or unstoppable force that everyday people come into contact with, giving a sense of urgency and hopelessness that blends well into the comedy. Roger Corman was a director best known for films like this, and "Cold Storage" is a modern day b-rated horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously, letting our guards down to enjoy the ride and serve as a decent introduction to horror for anyone too afraid to dip their toes into the more horrific. After the NASA space station Skylab crashed to Earth in 1979, scientists searched diligently for the remains, but something was left behind: a fungus that spreads quickly and, once it infects people, causes them to explode after spreading. Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini R...