JoeMama's Movie Reviews

  Mortal Kombat II Starring Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Martyn Ford Directed by Simon McQuoid There's a reason why most video games don't adapt well to movies, and that's because there's no story to be told. "Mortal Kombat" has been an iconic fighting game since 1992, and while many of them have razor-thin lines of story, they just exist for players to rapidly tap a button to skip it and get to what made the gaming series so great: the over-the-top gore when it comes to the "finishing move." Two movies in the 90s were notoriously bad (although now have gained cult followings), and the 2021 reboot was a bit too serious for its own good. Now with "Mortal Kombat II," director Simon McQuoid seemed to finally get it: people don't go to a "Mortal Kombat" movie for rich dialogue, cerebral storylines or multi-layered characters: they come for the fights. To that end, he more than delivers, as this sequel ...

Deep Water Starring Aaron Eckhart, Molly Belle Wright, Angus Sampson, Ben Kingsley Directed by Renny Harlin I've never been a fan of flying, and it's been over twenty years since I've set foot on a plane, and I have no intentions to ever do so again. While everyone says it's the safest way of travel, I hate not being in control, and also not trusting a piece of metal between myself and 30,000 feet of air. This is why plane films often give me the willies because I can't help but imagine myself in that situation, so "Deep Water" was a film I was sure would give me those same feelings. The only feeling I had, however, was boredom - while this is a decent film to turn your mind off to, I simply couldn't do it, and somehow, someway, this movie not only managed to make air crashes boring, but shark attacks as well. While on a flight from Los Angeles to Shanghai, a fire breaks out in the cargo hold which causes pilots Rich (Ben Kingsley) and Ben (Aaron Eckha...

  That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime the Movie:  Tears of the Azure Sea Starring Miho Okasaki, Saori Onishi, Nao Kosaka, Kaho Fujishima Directed by Yashuhito Kikuchi Continuing my anime adventures with watching movies based on long-running franchises I've never seen, my buddy and I saw "That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime the Movie: Tears of the Azure Sea." I've heard of the title before and wondered what it was about, and on the ride there I got a crash course on the first four seasons - a man is murdered and is reincarnated in another world as a slime with the ability to absorb the powers and appearances of other beings, in a nutshell. Fortunately, I didn't need a lot of background information for this movie, as the tale itself is one as old as cinema itself, brought to vivid life with astonishing animation, intense action, and compelling performances. Heading on vacation from an invite from Elmesia El-Ru Sarion, Rimuru Tempest (Miho Okasaki) and his co...

Hokum Starring Adam Scott, Peter Coonan, David Wilmot, Florence Ordesh Directed by Damian McCarthy When you name your movie "Hokum," you're really asking for a lot from the audience. After all, the word "hokum" refers to nonsense, bunkum, or pretentious, insincere, or hackneyed material, particularly in movies, plays, or speeches designed to evoke a quick, easy, emotional response. Damian McCarthy has proven himself a true up-and-coming horror auteur with the excellent "Caviat" and especially 2024's "Oddity," but would he be able to maintain that momentum with his third one-title movie? Not only did he manage to do that, but he shows how he's perfected his craft with this third outing, featuring a fascinating, intense slow-burn murder mystery shrouded in supernatural horror. Ohm Bauman (Adam Scott) is a struggling writer trying to find an ending to his famous  Conquistador trilogy when he's haunted by visions of his dead mother. T...

The Devil Wears Prada 2 Starring Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Stanley Tucci Directed by David Frankel Releasing a movie twenty or more years after the original is a big gamble to make, and very rarely does it produce the same results. "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" was decent, but not necessary. "Tron: Ares" was a mess. "Blade Runner 2049" was exceptional but not seen by a lot of people. "Top Gun: Maverick" is the gold standard, earning over a billion dollars and a few Oscar nods. "The Devil Wears Prada 2" was a sequel no one thought would ever be made - most notably due to Meryl Streep not wanting to make sequels - but by the fashion gods it finally happened, and while it's not as magical as the original, it proves its existence, it was written, directed, and acted by people who have a passion for the project, and it was like seeing an old friend: no time seems to have passed. After losing her job as a reporter, Andy Sachs ...

Lee Cronin's The Mummy Starring Jack Reynor, Laia Costa, May Calamawy, Natalie Grace Directed by Lee Cronin Before 1999, when someone mentioned the Mummy, people would connect it with the Universal monsters of yore, the 1932 classic starring the legendary Boris Karloff as Imhotep, the titular Mummy. However, everything changed in 1999 with the release of "The Mummy" starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz that has remained a classic today - so much so that anyone who makes another Mummy movie has to distinguish itself from the trilogy, otherwise people will think Fraser is in it. That's what happened with "Evil Dead Rise" director Lee Cronin, who wrote and directed his own Mummy movie but couldn't call it "The Mummy" because people would think it was a sequel of Fraser's franchise. Released as "Lee Cronin's The Mummy," this film is vastly different from any Mummy movie that came before, and tells more like an "Evil Dead...