JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Solo Mio Starring Kevin James, Nicole Grimaudo, Alyson Hannigan, Kim Coates Directed by Chuck Kinnane & Dan Kinnane Valentine's Day often has movies that are extremely mediocre but serves to scratch the itch of couples looking for something to see on the big screen. 2026's big movie is "Wuthering Heights," but there's a slew of lackluster romantic comedies that men will inevitably have to sit through because their girlfriends want to. "Solo Mio" is one such movie - a basic, vanilla, unmemorable, bland movie that's nowhere near to being good but also nowhere near to being terrible, resulting in something even worse: a forgettable movie that no one will remember. Matt Taylor (Kevin James) is an art teacher who falls for fellow teacher Heather (Julie Ann Emery), and the two get engaged and go to Rome to get married. However, on their wedding day Heather gets cold feet and leaves Matt at the altar, leaving him to go solo on a duo honeymoon package, d...

The Strangers: Chapter 3 Starring Madelaine Petsch, Gabriel Basso, Ema Horvath, Richard Brake Directed by Renny Harlin "Does there have to be a why?" That question is asked in "The Strangers: Chapter 3," but it's also a question one should ask director Renny Harlin. Does there have to be a "why" he decided to remake a classic 2008 thriller into three movies that strips any excitement, mystery, or horror the original possessed? Does there have to be a "why" in elongating a simple story into three chapters that makes it feel extremely tedious, drawn out, and pointless? Does there have to be a "why" is there a script that's so bare bones it barely fits one movie, let alone three? Does there have to be a "why" you would subject viewers to this type of dull, lifeless monotony...three times over? The answer is "no," and fortunately, thankfully, this three-chapter saga is finally over and ends with a whimper instead...

Dracula Starring Caleb Landry Jones, Christoph Waltz, Zoe Bleu, Matilda De Angelis Directed by Luc Besson By now everyone knows the story of Dracula, from Bram Stoker's iconic 1897 novel based on the real Vlad the Impaler, a ruthless ruler who impaled the heads of his victims on pikes. Dracula is a vampire who murders and turns others into vampires to do his bidding, and is the most well-known of them all - so much so that in the last five years there's been four Dracula-based movies. Much like the zombie genre, it might be time to put Dracula back in his coffin for a few decades, especially after Luc Besson's abysmal version that basically is the Temu version of the iconic Francis Ford Coppola's "Dracula." Prince Vladimir of Wallachia (Caleb Landry Jones) and his wife Elisabeta (Zoe Bleu) are living the life of luxury in his castle when his land comes under attack by the Ottomans, and in the ensuing battle Elisabeta is murdered. Vladimir renounces his belief ...

Iron Lung Starring Mark Fischbach, Caroline Rose Kaplan, Troy Baker, Elsie Lovelock Directed by Mark Fischbach Very rarely is there a movie I go into totally blind - no reviews, no trailers, no synopsis, no information whatsoever. "Iron Lung" is one such film: a movie that all I knew of was the behind-the-scenes work that was done to get it finished, along with a mysterious movie poster that I, for some reason, thought was a werewolf (I have no idea why). I also knew it was based on a video game that I never heard of, but after seeing the movie I looked into it and it seems like a "Five Nights at Freddy's" style game - one location, one person, looking through pictures and traversing an unrelenting landscape in a submarine. Not knowing anything about the game served as a detriment for me, however, as those who knew the game really liked the movie while I found myself confused and somewhat bored with the proceedings, but it doesn't take away from the monument...

Send Help Starring Rachel McAdams, Dylan O'Brien, Edyll Ismail, Xavier Samuel Directed by Sam Raimi Have you ever had that one boss you couldn't stand? The one who constantly gaslights you, puts your down, and critiques your work above and beyond others? Who's favoritism is so glaringly obvious it makes you see red as you get passed up for opportunities that you deserve and are more qualified for over their friends? Then "Send Help" is just the movie for you - where a mild-mannered, meek, unassuming yet highly intelligent and capable woman finds herself under the thumb of an oppressive, younger boss until the tables are turned, resulting in a gleefully delicious power swing filled with all the bells and whistles you'd find in a Sam Raimi-directed film. Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) has worked in the Planning and Strategy department of Preston Strategic Solutions for seven years, and has earned the respect of its founder. Yet after he dies and he passes control...

  Mercy Starring Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Kali Reis, Annabelle Wallis Directed by Timur Bekmambetov The idea of the "ticking clock" is a gimmick movies and television shows do to illicit excitement and anticipation in the viewer. It's easy to tell a story that can end whenever it wants, but when you're up against a timeline that gets closer and closer to some sort of catastrophe, your excitement levels go up because - even though 99.9% of the time everything is resolved at the 1 second line - we think that the end will come before the final verdict is reached. So when you have a story that could technically last awhile, but decide to throw in the "ticking clock," it turns something more mundane into an exciting thrill ride even though logically it shouldn't be. In the near future, lawmakers in Los Angeles along with LAPD detective Chris Raven (Chris Pratt) create the Mercy Capital Court, a judicial system controlled by Artificial Intelligence that ...