JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Project Hail Mary Starring Ryan Gosling, Sandra Huller, James Ortiz, Lionel Boyce Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller The word "masterpiece" gets tossed around a lot lately, especially in regards to film. However, when it comes to "Project Hail Mary," I can say that this is, indeed, a masterpiece. From the performances to the themes; the cinematography and visuals; the story and the action all connect with perfection, leaving very little to critique apart from small nitpicking that could've just made it better. Waking up in a spaceship with amnesia, Dr. Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) begins piecing together in his mind the events that led him to his situation. A former scientist turned schoolteacher, he is approached by Eva Stratt (Sandra Huller) with important news: the planet is dying because the sun is slowly being eaten away by a string of Astrophage that is slowly siphoning the sun's energy, and in 30 years will leave the Earth a frozen wastelan...

War Machine Starring Alan Ritchson, Dennis Quaid, Stephan James, Jai Courtney Directed by Patrick Hughes After "Avengers Endgame" hit theaters, news came out that there were plans to make a movie based off Don Cheadle's character, James Rhodes, also known as War Machine. Yet as the years went on, the news died off and it seemed the movie wasn't going to be made after all. Then I find out they made "War Machine," but it wasn't sent to theaters, or even Disney+ that owns Marvel, but Netflix instead. Odd choice, I thought, but then I heard Alan Ritchson took over the role, which is even odder because...well...Don Cheadle is African American. Bold choice, I suppose, but who am I to judge? Then I started watching the movie and immediately realized this was no War Machine, but a lame, albeit action-packed, Netflix original that was probably written by AI after given prompts to write a war movie mixing "Terminator," "Predator," "War of ...

Slanted Starring Shirley Chen, Mckenna Grace, Fang Du, Amelie Zilber Directed by Amy Wang The term "satire" uses humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize human vices, follies, abuses or shortcomings, with its goal to provoke thought, hold authority accountable, or inspire change. Typically, satire is so subtle that you don't notice it really happening and it burrows into your skin and stays there. However, when it's literally hit on your head repeatedly for 102 minutes, it looses its strength and leaves you both with a headache and a desire to never deal with it again. Thus is "Slanted," a somewhat body horror somewhat comedy movie that takes the worst of "Mean Girls," "The Substance" and "Carrie" and throws them into a blender, crafting something so dull and lifeless if it was Frankenstein's creature it'd stay on the gurney because not even the greatest strike of lightning could bring it to life. A...

The Bride! Starring Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Penelope Cruz Directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal Mary Shelley's classic novel "Frankenstein" was written back in 1818 when she was just 18, during a time where women's voices weren't allowed to be heard. The novel was released anonymously until her name was attached in 1831, and she is hailed as a pioneer in the women's movement, a concept that Maggie Gyllenhaal uses to useful effect in her near-modern day re-imagining of "The Bride of Frankenstein," and even though Shelley never wrote a second novel about the Creature or his mate, her presence is felt deeply throughout this project, an anthem for women and the female equivalent of "Joker." In 1936 Chicago, Ida (Jessie Buckley) is a free-spirited woman who becomes possessed by the spirit of Mary Shelley, who wants to tell the story of the Bride of Frankenstein. Ida is soon murdered by two goons working for the crime lord Lupino...

Hoppers Starring Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy Directed by Daniel Chong Honestly I wasn't too excited when I saw the trailers for "Hoppers," mostly due to the fact that it reminded me too much of 2024's excellent "The Wild Robot," about a robot who finds herself out of her element and tasked with helping wildlife survive a possible extinction. That movie ended up in my top ten of the year and included beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about motherhood. While I did see similarities between the two, I was equally moved during "Hoppers" with its beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about our necessity for society and seeing the good in everyone. Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda) is a 19-year-old college student still grieving the loss of her grandmother, who showed her the beauty of nature and love of animals at a young age. She learns that Mayor Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm) is planning on building a...

Greenland 2: Migration Starring Gerard Butler, Morena Baccarin, Roman Griffin Davis, Amber Rose Revah Directed by Ric Roman Waugh The natural disaster subgenre has had some major hits in history - "The Day After Tomorrow," "Deep Impact," "Armageddon" and "Dante's Peak" being some of them - while others ("2012," "Moonfall") aren't as good. Yet there's something they all have in common: they don't do sequels. Usually, the destruction of the world is the definitive end, leaving no room for another go-around on the big screen. 2020's "Greenland" felt like one such disaster movie - it met its criteria, the survivors made it to their safe zone, and the comet hit...bing, bang, boom. A sequel wasn't needed, nor was it on anyone's minds, let alone six years later. Yet, "Greenland 2: Migration" is here, and while it's refreshing to see what happens to survivors after the world ends, it...