JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Lee Cronin's The Mummy Starring Jack Reynor, Laia Costa, May Calamawy, Natalie Grace Directed by Lee Cronin Before 1999, when someone mentioned the Mummy, people would connect it with the Universal monsters of yore, the 1932 classic starring the legendary Boris Karloff as Imhotep, the titular Mummy. However, everything changed in 1999 with the release of "The Mummy" starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz that has remained a classic today - so much so that anyone who makes another Mummy movie has to distinguish itself from the trilogy, otherwise people will think Fraser is in it. That's what happened with "Evil Dead Rise" director Lee Cronin, who wrote and directed his own Mummy movie but couldn't call it "The Mummy" because people would think it was a sequel of Fraser's franchise. Released as "Lee Cronin's The Mummy," this film is vastly different from any Mummy movie that came before, and tells more like an "Evil Dead...

Michael Starring Jaafar Jackson, Colman Domingo, Nia Long, Miles Teller Directed by Antoine Fuqua Musical biopics. No two other words strike as much fear in the hearts of moviegoers than that, as the cinematic landscape is littered with the remains of musical biopics that are essentially zombies - not alive, but still moving. Very few times are there ones of note ("Straight Outta Compton" and "A Complete Unknown" being two of the best), while the others leave sour notes in the minds of audience members. Yet, in 2026, we saw the biggest musical biopic of all time, because it centered around who is arguably the best voice in music in history: Michael Jackson. Everyone knows his life, his struggles, his failings and, most importantly, his music, so we wondered if there was something more to his story that could be flushed out with his own biopic. "Training Day" and "The Equalizer" director Antoine Fuqua seemed perfect to bring the story to the big s...

You, Me & Tuscany Starring Halle Bailey, Rege-Jean Page, Lornzo de Moor, Mario Calvani Directed by Kat Coiro There was an episode of "American Dad!" where Roger the alien was put on trial under one of his personas for committing a crime, but it seemed he was going to get off because he was so charming to the jury - but Stan saw through it and forced the jury to convict him anyway. What's this have to do with "You, Me & Tuscany?" Two things: 1) I'd rather watch that episode again than see this again, and 2) it has a lot to do with the overall theme of this movie. Could you get away with telling a monumental lie simply due to the fact that you're just so darn cute and charming? Should one lie dictate your entire life? Will this movie revolutionize the tiresome rom-com?  Anna (Halle Bailey) is a woman with no purpose - she works as a housesitter but gets fired because she impersonates the homeowners because she's been stuck in her life since her...

The Plague Starring Everett Blunck, Kayo Martin, Kenny Rasmussen, Joel Edgerton Directed by Charlie Polinger Sometimes you hear about a movie and think it's going to be something, but when you watch it you find it's something entirely different. Rarely does it help the movie, and with "The Plague," it definitely didn't for me. The trailer, word of mouth, and all of that seemed to point to a body horror movie and an intense psychological thriller, but instead it's a dark coming-of-age tale that has a hint of body horror but really just personifies what it feels like to be an outcast in the most formative time of your life. If you go into the movie expecting to see this type of movie, then you'll have a favorable outlook on it - for me, I was bored, waiting for the body horror or psychological thriller to take hold until it ended, and I was left wanting. Yet, if I knew what it was going in, I would've appreciated it so much more. Ben (Everett Blunck) is ...

The Drama Starring Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Alana Haim, Mamoudou Athie Directed by Kristoffer Borgli How well do you really know someone? Do you know their complete history, their ins-and-outs of what they've been through in their life that led them to this moment? What if you found out a deep, dark secret about your partner days before getting married? Would you still go through with it, or understand that the event is in the past and who they are now isn't who they were then - or are they? A24 tackles the romantic comedy subgenre with "The Drama," and in true A24 fashion it totally abandons the comedy part and instead centers on two flawed characters whose past comes back to haunt them in an unending unsettling film that raises important questions that aren't easy to answer. The day Charlie Thompson (Robert Pattinson) meets Emma Harwood (Zendaya) in a local coffee shop is the best day of Charlie's life - he pretends to have read the book Emma is reading in...

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Starring Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black Directed by Aaron Horvath & Michal Jelenic Back in 2017, "The Greatest Showman" starring Hugh Jackman received a beating from the critics, giving the film just a 56% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences, however, chose not to listen to the critics and wanted to decide for themselves, and the results were historic: an 86% audience rating, an Oscar nomination, over $428 million worldwide, and a soundtrack that still thumps to this day. "The Greatest Showman" proved that critics aren't always right, and that rings true again for "The Super Mario Galaxy Movie" - a film lambasted by critics but hailed by audiences, that does have its faults but it's so filled with nostalgia and lovely animation that in the end it doesn't really matter. As Bowser (Jack Black) remains miniaturized and under the watchful eyes of Mario (Chris Pratt), Luigi (Charlie Day), Princess Pe...

They Will Kill You Starring Zazie Beetz, Patricia Arquette, Myha'la, Tom Felton Directed by Kirill Sokolov What happens when you throw in "Kill Bill," "Hotel Artemis," "Ready or Not," Quentin Tarantino and Sam Raimi into a blender? You get "They Will Kill You," a film that obviously takes license from the aforementioned films and directors but concocts its own story. While the screenplay itself will never earn an Academy Award, a film such as this doesn't need one to validate its existence. It's just a fun, bloody, action-filled movie with a commanding lead performance from Zazie Beetz and a welcome return for Patricia Arquette in a role like she's never played before. After getting out of prison, Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz) applies to be a maid for a local apartment complex known as the Virgil, run by the superintendent Lily Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette). The first night there Asia wakes up to find a group of people in her room thr...

Reminders of Him Starring Maika Monroe, Tyriq Withers, Lauren Graham, Bradley Whitford Directed by Vanessa Caswill Should one mistake dictate the rest of your life? This is the question haphazardly asked in the latest Colleen Hoover-written-to-film "Reminders of Him," where a woman who accidentally caused the death of her boyfriend spent years in prison only to get out and find that she can't get access to the child she had with him, and finds herself a pariah in her hometown because of said event. While this could've worked if the movie really focused on that, it instead tried to weave in a melodramatic romantic relationship where the two actors have as much chemistry as oil and water. Six years after accidentally causing the death of her boyfriend, Kenna Rowan (Maika Monroe) is let out of prison and returns to her hometown in Wyoming in hopes of connecting with the daughter she gave birth to while in prison who's now in the custody of her boyfriend ...

  Ready or Not 2: Here I Come Starring Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy Directed by Radio Silence 2019's surprise hit "Ready or Not" made a household name out of Samara Weaving, solidifying her legacy as a modern-day scream queen (with that exciting, unique shrill scream) and gave directing duo Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (also known as Radio Silence) the clout needed to go on to direct the newer outings of the long-running "Scream" franchise, "Scream" and "Scream VI," along with the underrated "Abigail." Everyone thought the movie was a one-and-done, as Grace accomplished what she set out to do, but there was more story to be told. Some fans (including myself) were worried that they over-extended their reach with "Ready or Not 2," but they managed to prove the sequel's need to exist by expanding the world, introducing new foes, and a new ally for Grace - her long-estrange...

Undertone Starring Nina Kiri, Michele Duquet, Adam DiMarco, Keana Lyn Bastidas Directed by Ian Tuason 2010s and 2020s horror has elevated itself to include deep personal themes like psychological disorders, religious zeal, and personifying mental illnesses. "Hereditary," "Midsommar," "It Follows," "The Babadook" and several more epitomizes this new subgenre of horror, and "undertone" is one of the newest ones. Focusing on religion and the fears of motherhood, the movie gives a slow burn terrorizing tale of one woman who encounters the supernatural during her darkest time. Normally, movies are meant to be seen on the big screen, but "undertone" is different...it practically requires you to watch it on a laptop screen with your noise-cancellation headphones plugged in, because this is almost an entirely auditory horror experience that, while not wholly efficient, is enough to deliver some severe goosebumps and jumps. Evy (Nina K...

Project Hail Mary Starring Ryan Gosling, Sandra Huller, James Ortiz, Lionel Boyce Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller The word "masterpiece" gets tossed around a lot lately, especially in regards to film. However, when it comes to "Project Hail Mary," I can say that this is, indeed, a masterpiece. From the performances to the themes; the cinematography and visuals; the story and the action all connect with perfection, leaving very little to critique apart from small nitpicking that could've just made it better. Waking up in a spaceship with amnesia, Dr. Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) begins piecing together in his mind the events that led him to his situation. A former scientist turned schoolteacher, he is approached by Eva Stratt (Sandra Huller) with important news: the planet is dying because the sun is slowly being eaten away by a string of Astrophage that is slowly siphoning the sun's energy, and in 30 years will leave the Earth a frozen wastelan...

War Machine Starring Alan Ritchson, Dennis Quaid, Stephan James, Jai Courtney Directed by Patrick Hughes After "Avengers Endgame" hit theaters, news came out that there were plans to make a movie based off Don Cheadle's character, James Rhodes, also known as War Machine. Yet as the years went on, the news died off and it seemed the movie wasn't going to be made after all. Then I find out they made "War Machine," but it wasn't sent to theaters, or even Disney+ that owns Marvel, but Netflix instead. Odd choice, I thought, but then I heard Alan Ritchson took over the role, which is even odder because...well...Don Cheadle is African American. Bold choice, I suppose, but who am I to judge? Then I started watching the movie and immediately realized this was no War Machine, but a lame, albeit action-packed, Netflix original that was probably written by AI after given prompts to write a war movie mixing "Terminator," "Predator," "War of ...

Slanted Starring Shirley Chen, Mckenna Grace, Fang Du, Amelie Zilber Directed by Amy Wang The term "satire" uses humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize human vices, follies, abuses or shortcomings, with its goal to provoke thought, hold authority accountable, or inspire change. Typically, satire is so subtle that you don't notice it really happening and it burrows into your skin and stays there. However, when it's literally hit on your head repeatedly for 102 minutes, it looses its strength and leaves you both with a headache and a desire to never deal with it again. Thus is "Slanted," a somewhat body horror somewhat comedy movie that takes the worst of "Mean Girls," "The Substance" and "Carrie" and throws them into a blender, crafting something so dull and lifeless if it was Frankenstein's creature it'd stay on the gurney because not even the greatest strike of lightning could bring it to life. A...

The Bride! Starring Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Penelope Cruz Directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal Mary Shelley's classic novel "Frankenstein" was written back in 1818 when she was just 18, during a time where women's voices weren't allowed to be heard. The novel was released anonymously until her name was attached in 1831, and she is hailed as a pioneer in the women's movement, a concept that Maggie Gyllenhaal uses to useful effect in her near-modern day re-imagining of "The Bride of Frankenstein," and even though Shelley never wrote a second novel about the Creature or his mate, her presence is felt deeply throughout this project, an anthem for women and the female equivalent of "Joker." In 1936 Chicago, Ida (Jessie Buckley) is a free-spirited woman who becomes possessed by the spirit of Mary Shelley, who wants to tell the story of the Bride of Frankenstein. Ida is soon murdered by two goons working for the crime lord Lupino...

Hoppers Starring Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy Directed by Daniel Chong Honestly I wasn't too excited when I saw the trailers for "Hoppers," mostly due to the fact that it reminded me too much of 2024's excellent "The Wild Robot," about a robot who finds herself out of her element and tasked with helping wildlife survive a possible extinction. That movie ended up in my top ten of the year and included beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about motherhood. While I did see similarities between the two, I was equally moved during "Hoppers" with its beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about our necessity for society and seeing the good in everyone. Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda) is a 19-year-old college student still grieving the loss of her grandmother, who showed her the beauty of nature and love of animals at a young age. She learns that Mayor Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm) is planning on building a...