JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Tony Starring Dominic Sessa, Antonio Banderas, Emilia Jones, Leo Woodall Directed by Matt Johnson Anthony Bourdain was one of America's most prolific chefs, a culinary genius who, like pretty much all geniuses, was a troubled soul. His outward cockiness was a mask for hidden insecurities which ultimately unfortunately took over him in 2018, leaving a legacy that'll inspire future chefs for decades to come. When it comes to biopics, a story like this seems golden - a young arrogant wannabe who lied his way through life to be more impressive comes to terms with who he really is and turns his life around to find his true passion and live a fruitful, yet troubled, life. It's also the kind of biopic that could've failed on every level, resulting in another Wikipedia-sourced movie that glosses over everything and focusing on a few minor details. Fortunately, director Matt Johnson didn't go this route, but instead focused on one moment in Anthony's formative years that...

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma Starring Hannah Einbinder, Gillian Anderson, Jack Haven, Amanda Fix Directed by Jane Schoenbrun My favorite franchise ever is "Friday the 13th" even though I know most of the films aren't that good, it doesn't take away from my enjoyment of them. Throughout the years it became more a laughingstock rather than respected, but still it knew what it was and delivered in making Jason Voorhees an international icon. So anything akin to the series is something I'd be immediately drawn to, and "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma" is one such movie - a movie within a movie that serves equally a love letter to horror as well as embracing your whole self in every aspect, director Jane Schoenbrun's third film serves as a perfect ending to their personal life trilogy, a movie made almost for themself rather than a general audience, but one that general audiences can truly appreciate for its aesthetic, story, performances, an...

The Dog Stars Starring Jacob Elordi, Josh Brolin, Margaret Qualley, Guy Pearce Directed by Ridley Scott Post-apocalyptic movies are thrilling, exciting, and fast-paced. Be it a zombie apocalypse, a natural disaster or man-made viruses, you're always bound to see survivors gathering together to horde their supplies as they come under attack from one group of enemies or another. This is why "The Dog Stars" is so frustrating - it's perpetually boring. Out of the too-long two hour runtime only about fifteen minutes are filled with action, and the rest is a dour story that is more about remembering the past than facing the future. Although it's got some great natural setting, this is a world where I would've wished I was gone before it happened, otherwise I'd die of boredom. After an unknown virus killed most of society, Hig (Jacob Elordi) lives in an abandoned airport bunker with his trusty dog and former Marine Bangley (Josh Brolin). While Bangley is content ...

Coyote vs. Acme Starring Will Forte, Lana Condor, John Cena, Tone Bell Directed by Dave Green "You complete me." Those were the words uttered by Heath Ledger's Joker in Christopher Nolan's blockbuster "The Dark Night" when he's being interrogated by Christian Bale's Batman, as he wondered if the Joker wanted him dead. The Joker laughed and said those words showing that, while they're way on opposite ends of the legal spectrum, they really do compliment one another. There can't be a Batman without his Joker, or Professor X without Magneto, or Spider-Man without Green Goblin. Likewise, spanning back since 1949, Wile E. Coyote can't be without the Road Runner. The two have been chasing each other down for over seventy years, and it seems almost unthinkable to wonder what would happen if the Coyote did in fact capture the Runner (although it's happened in non-canonical situations). That's the heart behind the long-delayed and almost n...

Insidious: Out of the Further Starring Amelia Eve, Brandon Perea, Maisie Richardson-Sellers, Lin Shaye Directed by Jacob Chase The "Insidious" franchise was something that was never meant to be. The first movie was an astonishing hit, earning over $99 million worldwide on a $1.5 million budget, making it one of the most financially successful horror movies. It was expertly done, with well-timed jump scares (including one that's still listed as one of the best in all of horror) and had a great story behind it, with impeccable performances by Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins and Lin Shaye. The ending did leave it open, but it seemed that it was still contained as a one-and-done, but as we all know, money talks. The future installments stretched the story so thin it became a caricature of itself, even though it did keep earning money hand to foot. So now it's the fifth installment, "Insidious: Out of the Further," which doesn't have a lot to do with ...

The End of Oak Street Starring Anne Hathaway, Ewan McGregor, Maisy Stella, Christian Convery Directed by David Robert Mitchell Ever since 1993, dinosaurs on the big screen have been unofficially owned by "Jurassic Park" and its subsequent sequels, reboots and franchises. Any time you hear of a dinosaur movie, you'll be sure to hear John Williams' iconic score with the title "Jurassic ____" in it. Which is what makes "The End of Oak Street" so refreshing - it's a dinosaur movie without having Chris Pratt try to calm Velociraptors or Jeff Goldblum talking about life finding a way. Instead, it's a unique mix of prehistoric and modern day, where a normal cul-de-sac is somehow transported to another era where dinosaurs ruled supreme. Not just that, but the family dynamic at the heart of the film propels the thankful 99 minute runtime forward, along with surprising humor and even more surprising shocks that makes for a lean, entertaining, memorab...

Motor City Starring Alan Ritchson, Shailene Woodley, Ben Foster, Pablo Schreiber Directed by Potsy Ponciroll The idea of a revenge movie has been done time and again in cinematic history, but rarely in the style of "Motor City." The movie was almost entirely absent of audible dialogue, letting its soundtrack and actors' facial expressions tell the story. It's not like it's a complicated one to understand, as we've seen it all before, and without clunky exposition-laden speeches we're allowed to become fully immersed in the film's violence, which comes hot and heavy, and gives deep character dives without uttering a single word. In 1977 Detroit, John (Alan Ritchson) is an ex-con Vietnam vet who has made his life right and is settling down with his girlfriend Sophia (Shailene Woodley) when his world comes crashing down and he's framed by crooked cop Savick (Pablo Schreiber) and his accomplice Reynolds (Ben Foster) who happens to be Sophia's abusi...

Pinocchio: Unstrung Starring Richard Brake, Robert Englund, Cameron Bell, Jessica Balmer Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield In a world where CGI has all but overtaken the cinematic landscape, seeing a film filled with practical effects is a breath of fresh air, no matter how convoluted the story is. "Pinocchio: Unstrung" - the continuation of Rhys Frake-Waterfield's "Twisted Childhood Universe" - falls under that category. While there's a lot about this movie that doesn't make a lick of sense, it can be forgiven because the practical effects are so well-done for such a small budget you can't help but admire it. Where production companies crap out soulless sequel after soulless sequel, Frake-Waterfield's work showcases his deep desire to see his vision come to life, and you can feel his heart beating with every scene. After losing his parents, young James (Cameron Bell) goes to live with his grandfather Geppetto (Richard Brake) who's been plann...

One Night Only Starring Monica Barbaro, Callum Turner, Maya Hawke, Julia Fox Directed by Will Gluck It's no surprise I dislike romantic comedies - maybe it's because I'll never find love, or because they're so formulaic you can tell everything that'll happen from the first trailer. Either way, it takes a lot for me to be genuinely surprised by a romantic comedy, and it's rarely happened. "One Night Only" didn't break that mold, and I predicted everything that would happen from the (far too many) times I saw the trailer. While the concept is unique, the execution is baffling, but at least the main actors had strong chemistry together, even though they come off as being best buddies rather than lovers. In the near future, a law is passed that makes having sexual intercourse before marriage illegal except for one night only, where singles can mingle for twelve hours. Pizza store owner Owen (Callum Turner) expects to spend it with his girlfriend, but s...

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Starring Tom Holland, Zendaya, Sadie Sink, Jon Bernthal Directed by Destin Daniel Cretton Spider-Man has consistently been a favorite for comic book readers since his introduction in 1962, spanning numerous comic books, television shows, video games and movies. What is it about him that draws people more than the likes of Iron Man, Captain America, Superman or Batman? Essentially it comes to the relatability of the character - a mild mannered kid gets bit by a radioactive spider and gains superhuman abilities. It's something that every kid dreams of, but also showcases the depth of responsibility and danger it entails. Peter Parker always pines for what he can't have, because he has to remain hidden under the mask to keep his family and friends safe. The burden of responsibility is strong, because as we all know, "with great power comes great responsibility." Spider-Man is the most relatable character in all comics, hence why audiences attend...

Moana Starring Catherine Laga'aia, Dwayne Johnson, Rena Owen, John Tui Directed by Thomas Kail Disney has hit the bottom of the barrel, relying on their classic animated films turned into live action in hopes of drumming up money based on nostalgia, with numerous films already receiving this treatment. Instead of crafting original ideas that could give children of today's age the hopes and dreams of the future that were given to children of the past with the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Aurora and the like, we get to see them again only in live action, which diminishes the heart of the matter. Now, not even ten years later, "Moana" gets her own live action soulless remake, which is a shot-for-shot remake of the iconic original that, while having its pluses, feels more like your parents saying "we have 'Moana' at home" when their kids are crying to see it. The Polynesian island goddess Te Fiti formed the islands, supplied the lands wi...

The Odyssey Starring Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson Directed by Christopher Nolan Stories have existed since the beginning of time, and they've brought people together, torn them apart, brought peace and war, and ignited the imaginations of countless world changers. One of the most famous pieces of work is Homer's  Odyssey , composed around the 8th Century B.C. and centered on the heroics of Odysseus, the King of Ithaca, who may or may not have existed, and tells of his long-suffering journey to make it back home to his wife Penelope before a new suitor took her for his own. The story has been told and re-told throughout the centuries and has been adapted numerous times in different movies and miniseries, and now Oscar-winning director Christopher Nolan takes his shot at telling the story. Before it even premiered it was met with resistance from a group of small but vocal naysayers who have...let's just say unwholesome reasoning as to why they woul...

Evil Dead Burn Starring Souheila Yacoub, Tandi Wright, Hunter Doohan, Luciane Buchanan Directed by Sebastien Vanicek The "Children of the Corn" franchise is eleven movies strong, but only the original is passable while each subsequent sequel, reboot, and remake fail to deliver any sort of horror, excitement, or decent filmmaking. "Halloween" has had some great sequels but many have fallen way short of the bar. "Friday the 13th," "A Nightmare on Elm Street," "Child's Play," "Hellraiser" and so many other beloved franchises have had hits and misses, but there's really one franchise that's been able to stay above the line and craft its own path: Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead." From its humble beginnings when Raimi and college buddy Bruce Campbell made a now-iconic horror film with pennies and loads of talent, dedication, and originality to its all-but-obvious shot-for-shot remake that turned the horror to comed...

Heresy Starring Anneke Sluiters, Len Leo Vincent, Nola Elvis Kemper, Leon van Waas Directed by Didier Konings Religion is a fascinating thing, and how it's evolved and adapted throughout the centuries. Back in the day, women were seen as nothing more than baby carriers for men who were doing the Lord's work, and who were confined to wifey duties like cleaning the home and cooking, and their voices were never heard nor acknowledged by the religious men. Woods were seen as the devil's playground, representing a chaotic, untamed, and dangerous unknown where the devil and his minions dwelled, luring men to their deaths and women to turn into witches. Barren women were seen as cursed by God for some sin, and until they rectified that sin they'd never be able to bare a child and were therefore shunned by the community. Thankfully times have changed, but "Heresy" (called "Witte Wieven" meaning "white women" in Dutch Low Saxon) shows us what it cou...

Supergirl Starring Milly Alcock, Matthias Schoenarts, Eve Ridley, Jason Momoa Directed by Chris Gillespie 2026 has been an amazing year for original films, with movies like "Send Help," "Hokum," and especially "Obsession" proving that people will flood the theaters for something unique and new, if done right. This, however, also raises the argument at the other end of the cinematic teeter-totter: No one wants sequels, prequels and superhero movies anymore. Both arguments are invalid because they are polar opposites, but there's one main connecting arc: people want good movies, whether they be established IP or new creations. "Supergirl," sadly, is one of those movies that isn't necessarily bad, but not unique either. It follows the traditional superhero tropes people are tired of, and although the actors give it their all, they're hindered by a formulaic script and more flashy action sequences over substance. After being sent away fro...

Minions & Monsters Starring Pierre Coffin, Trey Parker, Allison Janney, Christoph Waltz Directed by Pierre Coffin For sixteen years and seven movies, the yellow pill-shaped Minions have invaded the cinema to the tune of over $6 billion dollars worldwide and counting. What is it about these little creatures that's endeared them to the hearts of children young and old alike, especially considering they don't even speak a language we can understand? Simply, it's the fact that they're so lovable despite having their only goal being to serve the most horrible villains in the world, and their antics that oftentimes resort to blowing raspberries at each other and hitting each other with all kinds of blunt objects that hearken back to classic Hollywood slapstick comedy. To that end, their third solo outing "Minions & Monsters" leans entirely on that - focusing on a new group of Minions that existed during the golden age of cinema and how their shenanigans led ...