JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Moana Starring Catherine Laga'aia, Dwayne Johnson, Rena Owen, John Tui Directed by Thomas Kail Disney has hit the bottom of the barrel, relying on their classic animated films turned into live action in hopes of drumming up money based on nostalgia, with numerous films already receiving this treatment. Instead of crafting original ideas that could give children of today's age the hopes and dreams of the future that were given to children of the past with the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Aurora and the like, we get to see them again only in live action, which diminishes the heart of the matter. Now, not even ten years later, "Moana" gets her own live action soulless remake, which is a shot-for-shot remake of the iconic original that, while having its pluses, feels more like your parents saying "we have 'Moana' at home" when their kids are crying to see it. The Polynesian island goddess Te Fiti formed the islands, supplied the lands wi...

The Odyssey Starring Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson Directed by Christopher Nolan Stories have existed since the beginning of time, and they've brought people together, torn them apart, brought peace and war, and ignited the imaginations of countless world changers. One of the most famous pieces of work is Homer's  Odyssey , composed around the 8th Century B.C. and centered on the heroics of Odysseus, the King of Ithaca, who may or may not have existed, and tells of his long-suffering journey to make it back home to his wife Penelope before a new suitor took her for his own. The story has been told and re-told throughout the centuries and has been adapted numerous times in different movies and miniseries, and now Oscar-winning director Christopher Nolan takes his shot at telling the story. Before it even premiered it was met with resistance from a group of small but vocal naysayers who have...let's just say unwholesome reasoning as to why they woul...

Evil Dead Burn Starring Souheila Yacoub, Tandi Wright, Hunter Doohan, Luciane Buchanan Directed by Sebastien Vanicek The "Children of the Corn" franchise is eleven movies strong, but only the original is passable while each subsequent sequel, reboot, and remake fail to deliver any sort of horror, excitement, or decent filmmaking. "Halloween" has had some great sequels but many have fallen way short of the bar. "Friday the 13th," "A Nightmare on Elm Street," "Child's Play," "Hellraiser" and so many other beloved franchises have had hits and misses, but there's really one franchise that's been able to stay above the line and craft its own path: Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead." From its humble beginnings when Raimi and college buddy Bruce Campbell made a now-iconic horror film with pennies and loads of talent, dedication, and originality to its all-but-obvious shot-for-shot remake that turned the horror to comed...

Heresy Starring Anneke Sluiters, Len Leo Vincent, Nola Elvis Kemper, Leon van Waas Directed by Didier Konings Religion is a fascinating thing, and how it's evolved and adapted throughout the centuries. Back in the day, women were seen as nothing more than baby carriers for men who were doing the Lord's work, and who were confined to wifey duties like cleaning the home and cooking, and their voices were never heard nor acknowledged by the religious men. Woods were seen as the devil's playground, representing a chaotic, untamed, and dangerous unknown where the devil and his minions dwelled, luring men to their deaths and women to turn into witches. Barren women were seen as cursed by God for some sin, and until they rectified that sin they'd never be able to bare a child and were therefore shunned by the community. Thankfully times have changed, but "Heresy" (called "Witte Wieven" meaning "white women" in Dutch Low Saxon) shows us what it cou...

Supergirl Starring Milly Alcock, Matthias Schoenarts, Eve Ridley, Jason Momoa Directed by Chris Gillespie 2026 has been an amazing year for original films, with movies like "Send Help," "Hokum," and especially "Obsession" proving that people will flood the theaters for something unique and new, if done right. This, however, also raises the argument at the other end of the cinematic teeter-totter: No one wants sequels, prequels and superhero movies anymore. Both arguments are invalid because they are polar opposites, but there's one main connecting arc: people want good movies, whether they be established IP or new creations. "Supergirl," sadly, is one of those movies that isn't necessarily bad, but not unique either. It follows the traditional superhero tropes people are tired of, and although the actors give it their all, they're hindered by a formulaic script and more flashy action sequences over substance. After being sent away fro...

Minions & Monsters Starring Pierre Coffin, Trey Parker, Allison Janney, Christoph Waltz Directed by Pierre Coffin For sixteen years and seven movies, the yellow pill-shaped Minions have invaded the cinema to the tune of over $6 billion dollars worldwide and counting. What is it about these little creatures that's endeared them to the hearts of children young and old alike, especially considering they don't even speak a language we can understand? Simply, it's the fact that they're so lovable despite having their only goal being to serve the most horrible villains in the world, and their antics that oftentimes resort to blowing raspberries at each other and hitting each other with all kinds of blunt objects that hearken back to classic Hollywood slapstick comedy. To that end, their third solo outing "Minions & Monsters" leans entirely on that - focusing on a new group of Minions that existed during the golden age of cinema and how their shenanigans led ...

Casa Grande Starring Lou Diamond Phillips, John Pyper-Ferguson, Christina Moore, Kate Mansi Directed by Juan Pablo Arias Munoz For the last few years there's been an uptick in Western-style television series that centers on family dynamics including "The Madison," "The Son," "Longmire" and most famously "Yellowstone," which has spawned numerous spinoffs. These types of shows are set in the wild west (sometimes in the past, sometimes in the present) with a big family that has their struggles and successes, but you know essentially what you're getting into. "Casa Grande" is essentially a long episode of one such show set on the big screen, and would've fared a lot better if it had joined the other Western-style shows littering the television landscape - but that's not to say it was a bad movie, just needed more depth to it. After murdering two ICE agents who were about to steal away Mael Morales (Javier Bolanos) along with...

  Dolly Starring Fabianne Therese, Seann William Scott, Ethan Suplee, Max the Impaler Directed by Rod Blackhurst In the Xochimilco canals of Mexico City is a famous, creepy doll graveyard of sorts - decaying mutilated dolls hanging from trees by the thousands, and it's a popular tourist spot. When I first saw the trailer for "Dolly," I was hoping it'd be a movie set in that location, but that hope was soon dashed when I saw the main villain and the backwoodsy setting, I didn't have high expectations. While it still delivered a decent story with great practical effects, it's nothing worth writing home about - but since it was done on a micro-budget and was an original idea, I have mad respect for it getting made.  While on a trip to a secluded wooded mountain for a relaxing hike, couple Macy (Fabianne Therese) and Chase (Seann William Scott) come into contact with a lot of porcelain dolls hiding out in the middle of the woods. That's creepy enough, but then...

Toy Story 5 Starring Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Greta Lee Directed by Andrew Stanton The "Toy Story" franchise is a rarity when it comes to cinema, considering their epic Rotten Tomatoes scores. The first three films earned 100%, 100%, and 98%, and served as an amazing trilogy for anyone who grew up with the antics of Woody, Buzz, Jessie and their friends. If they were children in 1995, by 2010 they were ready to leave for college, as Andy did at the end of the third movie, moving on from childhood toys and giving strong nostalgic feelings for them. Essentially, it was a perfect trilogy. Then "Toy Story 4" came out in 2019, and while it still earned high praise (97%), it served more like an epilogue to the trilogy - not as memorable or impactful, but still joyous to see them again. Now, with "Toy Story 5," there seems to be signs of decline as it "only" scored a 93%, which is still something most movies would die to have, but its becoming...

Pressure Starring Andrew Scott, Brendan Fraser, Kerry Condon, Chris Messina Directed by Anthony Maras I've always been fascinated with the weather, and how it impacts our day-to-day lives. When it's cold and snowy, I don't want to go out, but when its sunny and warm, I don't mind it. If there's some major storms coming, I don't want to travel far, but if it's a clear day I don't mind driving miles away. It's also a fascinating thing to study, because weathermen are well known for being wrong more often than right, due to the unpredictability of weather. Imagine how it was in the 1940s, before we had all these different radar systems that accurately predict weather days before it happened - and imagine how significant weather was during World War II, as the Allied forces planned their most dangerous mission yet, and one that could turn the tide of the war - as long as the weather followed suit. In June 1944, the Allied forces are planning Operation Ov...

The Death of Robin Hood Starring Hugh Jackman, Jodie Comer, Bill Skarsgard, Faith Delaney Directed by Michael Sarnoski Americans in particular know the tale of Robin Hood: an antihero who robs from the rich and gives to the poor, the leader of his jovial Merry Men, living in Sherwood Forrest and going against the tyrannical Sheriff of Nottingham. There's been numerous movies that focus on this legend, and most of them aren't that good - the last one being the Taron Egerton-led "Robin Hood" in 2018 that was a box office and critical bomb. It seems that all the stories have been told, and no one really cared about the hero that's existed in English literature since 1377. However, what if everything we know about Robin Hood was a lie? "Pig" and "A Quiet Place: Day One" director Michael Sarnoski wrote his own story about Robin Hood - based on an anonymous writer's work  Robin Hood's Death  written sometime in the 17th Century, and this movi...

Leviticus Starring Joe Bird, Stacy Clausen, Mia Wasikowska, Jeremy Blewitt Directed by Adrian Chiarella Leviticus 18:22 states: "Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." It's no surprise why first-time director Adrian Chiarella chose to name his first horror movie "Leviticus" because it a visual representation of this verse in the modern era, where radical right-wing Christian Nationalists use this verse like it's the only gospel truth in order to condemn and vilify the LGBTQ community. To make anyone going through this feel like they're wrong, wicked, vile and detestable, making them hate themselves simply for who they want to love. In a sense, although our main characters are hunted down by a demonic-like spirit only they can see, the main villains in this movie are the unfeeling, overly-religious townspeople and family members who've forced them to travel such dark roads when they didn't need to. N...

Stop! That! Train! Starring Ginger Minj, Jujubee, Brooke Lynn Hytes, RuPaul Charles Directed by Adam Shankman Spoof comedies are making a comeback in cinema thanks to the surprise success of 2025's remake of "The Naked Gun" with Liam Neeson playing the son of the man the great Leslie Nielsen played in the 80s. That year ended with the equally hilarious "Fackham Hall" and then this year brought back the mother of all 2000s spoofs, "Scary Movie 6" to rousing success. Now "Stop! That! Train!" continues to chug ahead with the laughs that doesn't tread new territory, but it doesn't need to. Best friends Tess (Ginger Minj) and DeeDee (Jujubee) work as train stewardesses for a failing train line, but wish to work on the glamorous Glamazonian Express and get their shot when two of their stewardesses don't show up for work, so they disguise themselves and find themselves on board. Unfortunately, they don't know they're heading into...

The Furious Starring Xie Miao, Joe Taslim, Yang Enyou, Brian Le Directed by Kenji Tanigaki Jason Statham has had a string of mediocre films lately, most of which involve him saving children from predatory monsters, including the upcoming "Mutiny" where he does this on a boat. Each film is bland, mediocre, and just what you'd expect from a Statham movie. However, if you're looking for an action movie featuring heroes saving the lives of children who are about to be trafficked, look no further than "The Furious," a film that is 99% action and 1% story, but that doesn't matter - we know the basics, and that's all we need. We come for these movies for the action, and this one defines the word "action." Wang Wei (Xie Miao) is a tradesman with a young daughter Rainy (Yang Enyou), and life is rather idyllic until Rainy is kidnapped, forcing Wang to embark on a quest to find her. Aiding him is journalist Navin (Joe Taslim) who's searching for h...

Disclosure Day Starring Josh O'Connor, Emily Blunt, Colin Firth, Eve Hewson Directed by Steven Spielberg Growing up I always had a fascination with the supernatural - ghosts, aliens, cryptids, and so on to the point where I wouldn't sleep upstairs because I thought aliens would come through the window and abduct me. Then during my late teen years I became a Christian and went to Bible college to study scripture, but never lost my wonder in the supernatural - even though I was told that there were no such things as ghosts or aliens, and if they existed they were purely demonic creatures. Much like with science, there always appeared to be a disconnect between supernatural and religion, as well as science and religion, with most religious experts claiming you can't believe in science (or the supernatural) and God - but what if it's not supposed to be separate, but the supernatural and the science answers the "why" of religion? "Disclosure Day" doesn...

Scary Movie Starring Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris, Regina Hall Directed by Michael Tiddes Back in 2000, The Wayans Brothers brought "Scary Movie" to the big screens focusing on parodying iconic horror films such as "Scream," and it was a huge success - so much so it spawned numerous not-so-great imitators like "Dance Movie," "Date Movie," "Epic Movie," and the like. They followed up their original hit with another banger in 2001's "Scary Movie 2," but then the Wayans left the franchise for the PG-13 friendly "Scary Movie 3" and "Scary Movie 4" in 2003 and 2006 respectively. Then the franchise took its seemingly death knell with 2013's abysmal, unfunny, all-around horrible "Scary Movie 5," and with that the parody subgenre essentially came to an end. Then 2025's "The Naked Gun" re-vitalized the subgenre, and then the Wayans Brothers returned (along with Anna Faris a...

Masters of the Universe Starring Nicholas Galitzine, Camila Mendes, Idris Elba, Jared Leto Directed by Travis Knight Growing up in the 80s was an amazing time. "Transformers," "G.I. Joe," "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," "Thundercats," "Voltron," "He-Man" and many other animated shows filled my young mind with wander and excitement, and the toys gave me countless hours of entertainment before the age of technology. In recent times, some of these iconic hits have tried to make their way into modern society with mixed results, to say the least. Michael Bay's "Transformers" series was just an excuse for him to create CGI robots to smack each other. His "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" franchise turned them into grotesque CGI abominations. The live-action "G.I. Joe" franchise never really got its footing after the acceptable first movie. The one amazing movie that came out of this was director Travis...