The Machine

The Machine
Starring Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill, Iva Babic, Jimmy Tatro
Directed by Peter Atencio

For anyone who's not into stand-up comedy, the name Bert Kreischer wouldn't be known to you, but for anyone who's a diehard fan of stand-up, he's one of the legends. Known as The Machine, his biggest claim to fame is the story he tells of when he was a frat boy on a school trip to Russia, where he gets in with a group of mobsters and end up robbing a train. Doesn't really sound like something comedic, but Kreischer pulls it off with his effortless charm, charisma, and self-defecating humor (he's also known for being shirtless, and rocks a dad bod like none other). The movie "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" was based in part on Kreischer's story, and now he's taking center stage in "The Machine," which is loosely based on his stand-up routine. Sadly, this proves that sometimes the transition from stand-up to big-screen isn't as seamless as it appears.

Bert Kreischer (Bert Kreischer) is a famous stand-up comedian who's struggling with his family life, attending counseling to deal with his failures as a father while seemingly retiring from comedy to focus on bettering himself. During his daughter's sixteenth birthday, his estranged father Albert (Mark Hamill) arrives, and the two immediately come to blows when it comes to Bert's parenting. Yet that's just the beginning of their problems as Russian mafia daughter Irina (Iva Babic) arrives, demanding Bert give back a family watch that he stole while in Russia during his college days. Bert doesn't remember what happened to it, so she takes him and Albert to Russia to find it, all the while threatening to kill his family if he can't find it. Through hazy flashbacks involving his younger self (Jimmy Tatro), he slowly pieces together the events that led to the robbery on the train, hoping it won't be too late to save his family.


The Good:
For anyone who's fans of The Machine's stand-up, this will be an interesting take on the story he's been telling for the last seven years, and still includes his unique form of comedy set against a live-action backdrop.

The cinematography is surprisingly top-notch for a low-brow comedy such as this. The scenes flow seamlessly from past to present, making it look like a long continuous take where the modern Bert and classic Bert change places in the blink of an eye so effortlessly you can't tell the difference.

Mark Hamill proves that he's got strong comedic chops, as honestly his presence is the saving grace of the film. He's been in two major franchises ("Star Wars" and as the voice of the Joker in "Batman: The Animated Series") and he wasn't always allowed to fully embrace his comedic side (apart from the sadistic joy of playing the Joker), and here we get to see him let loose and have some fun. Whether he's taking a vow of no violence, snorting drugs, or delivering deadpan humor, his timing is impeccable and downright hilarious, stealing the scene from The Machine every time they're together.

The violence is over the top and enjoyable, particularly a fight on the train that results in the laws of physics pretty much being discarded entirely, along with the final battle at the casino that showcases an insane amount of bloodlust for a comedy like this.

There's some truly hilarious moments in the movie, especially when Bert accidentally kills one (or, as Albert points out, several) man on accident, along with some of his traditional stand-up routine.


The Bad:
"The Machine" doesn't try to be anything more than what it is, and in doing so it diminishes its own impact. It comes across as a cheap "The Hangover" ripoff where our hapless hero doesn't remember something from his past, and relies on heavy drinking (or state-dependent memory) to remember the events of the past. It's obvious it's a "The Hangover" ripoff, and it'll only remind you how great "The Hangover" is and how mediocre "The Machine" is.

Taking place in Russia, director Peter Atencio relies heavily on Russian stereotypes: the mafia men wear track suits, are heavily tatted, and don't know humor, while the poor folk live in a bygone era where it seems that 1980s television shows just hit their airwaves. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so prevalent, playing the one-note humor like an off-tuned recorder, eliciting absolutely no humor whatsoever.

The Machine's comedy is better as a stand-up, but doesn't translate to live action very well. The story repeats itself and goes way too long at just under two hours. If it had been cropped some it might've been better, but it doesn't really justify its lengthy runtime.


The Verdict:
While Mark Hamill serves as the film's MVP, "The Machine" is very lackluster in The Machine's well-known comedy, coming across as a cheap knock-off of other comedies of this styling and missing The Machine's stand-up charm and charisma.


The Score: D+