JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Fight or Flight Starring Josh Hartnett, Charithra Chandran, Julian Kostov, Katee Sackhoff Directed by James Madigan They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. They also say "we have ____ at home." "Fight or Flight" is a film that imitates a much better movie, and when someone asks if they can stop on the way home to see said movie, the parent will say "we have 'Fight or Flight' at home.'" That's saying this is nowhere near as good of a movie as what it blatantly rips off, but thanks to Josh Hartnett's wonder-why committed performance, it makes it at least a little bit enjoyable. Maybe he was drunk during filming. That'd explain it. Lucas Reyes (Josh Hartnett) is a mercenary for hire on the run from the government when he's discovered by his former boss Katherine Brunt (Katee Sackhoff) with a lucrative offer: find a mysterious hacker known as Ghost who's going to be on an airplane bound for San Diego, and he'll...

Clown in a Cornfield Starring Katie Douglas, Aaron Abrams, Carson MacCormac, Vincent Muller Directed by Eli Craig Slasher films are some of my favorites, because there doesn't need to be any thought-provoking scripts or highly cerebral storylines - all it needs is a bunch of kids getting killed in gruesome ways. To that end, "Clown in a Cornfield" fulfills what it promises to: giving a group of kids getting killed by a masked killer. The issue lies with how generic the film is for the first half of the movie - the melodrama is almost a bit too boring - but once it hits its stride in the final half, the movie escalates to sheer bloody joy with immense laughter and a skewering look at the young versus old issue. After the death of her mother, Quinn Maybrook (Katie Douglas) and her father Glenn (Aaron Abrams) move from Philadelphia to the small town of Kettle Springs, Missouri, where Glenn got a job as the town's doctor. Quinn meets the quirky neighbor kid Rust (Vincent ...

The Ugly Stepsister Starring Lea Myren, Thea Sofie Loch Naess, Ane Dahl Torp, Flo Fagerli Directed by Emilie Blichfeldt The original fairy tales are dark - very dark. The concept of "grim" might not have stemmed from the Grimm Brothers, but their legacy is associated with that term. Disney took these classic fairy tales and made them more family friendly, but anyone who investigates these tales will find horrors beyond their imagination. "Cinderella" is no different, whereas Disney makes it a happily-ever-after tale, the original story is extremely demented, dark, and deadly. "The Ugly Stepsister" is a movie closer associated with the original's premise, but also mixes in modern feels to make the movie more akin to a David Cronenberg movie that could be a sister sequel to the likes of "Black Swan" and "The Substance." Elvira (Lea Myren) is the older sister of widower Rebekka (Ane Dahl Torp), who just re-married thinking her new husb...

Thunderbolts* Starring Florence Pugh, Sebastian Stan, Lewis Pullman, David Harbour Directed by Jake Schreier Superhero films - and most notably the MCU - have undergone a change in popularity lately, as many films have been lauded as being the same thing - epic action, glorified cameos, one final epic all-out battle between good and evil. None of those are bad necessarily especially when they're done right (the train fight in "Shang-Chi," the cameos in "Deadpool & Wolverine," and the final fight at the Statue of Liberty in "Spider-Man: No Way Home" are all epics). The problem is that there's so many movies that do them wrong, especially in the sense of CGI or forced humor ("Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania" was basically filmed entirely on a stage with CGI backgrounds everywhere; "Thor: Love & Thunder's" humor was more groan-inducing than guffaw-inducing), and it's been a rarity where you find all the elements...

Worst2First: My Most Anticipated Films of Summer 2025 Summertime brings the big budget blockbusters to the big screen, and is the time of the year where cinemas see their highest profits. These ten films look to have audiences' butts in theater seats from May through August, and these are the ones I'm most excited to see. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10 Jurassic Word: Rebirth July 2 The "Jurassic Park" and "Jurassic World" franchise has earned over a billion dollars worldwide, even though the last two "Jurassic World" films have a lot to be desired. Thinking the dinosaurs were indeed extinct on the big screen, they once again find new life in a standalone sequel to "Dominion" that came out in 2022. This time around we meet a new group of people who go to the old Jurassic Park to find DNA of dinosaurs from land, sea, and air that could be used to cure human ailments, but of course it's not that ea...

Until Dawn Starring Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino, Odessa A'zion, J-young Yoo Directed by David F. Sandberg Back in 2015, a horror game called "Until Dawn" came on Playstation, and I had to wait an excruciatingly long time before I was able to play it because I didn't own the PlayStation. After purchasing the system the first game I bought was "Until Dawn," and I played the heck out of it. I loved the concept - a horror movie where I made the decisions that either led to the deaths or survival of the characters - led by stellar performances by Hayden Panettiere, future Oscar-winner Rami Malek, Peter Stormare and others. It was an exciting (and sometimes frustrating, such as one play-through where everyone survived until the last moments and I accidentally got one killed because I didn't do a quicktime fast enough...not that that moment has dwelled in my mind or anything) game, so when word a movie was being made, I was apprehensive. We already have a movie ...

Marshmallow Starring Kue Lawrence, Kai Cech, Max Malas, Winston Vengapally Directed by Daniel DelPurgatorio The 80s were big on summer camp slashers, the big three being "Friday the 13th," "The Burning" and "Sleepaway Camp" that made children terrified to go to summer camp in real life with fears of a masked killer stalking them. That particular subgenre seemed to disappear by the 2020s, but now Daniel DelPurgatorio and writer Andy Greskoviak made summer camps terrifying again with their uniquely-named "Marshmallow," a movie that seems to follow the traditional tropes of the 80s before throwing an absolute curveball in the final act that is both inspiring and a little frustrating in its execution, but a welcome relief nonetheless. Morgan (Kue Lawrence) is a young boy who's sheltered and quiet, the kid everyone picks on in school. He's haunted by nightmares of drowning and is afraid to get in water, so when his parents sign him up for summ...

Nickel Boys Starring Ethan Herisse, Brandon Wilson, Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor, Hamish Linklater Directed by RaMell Ross The term "Oscar bait" is a term used to describe movies that are made to get nominated or win Academy Awards. More often than not, they're not even included in the proceedings because of their blatant soulless endeavor (such as "Amsterdam," "The Son," "Hillbilly Elegy" and "Cats"). Others (like "Bohemian Rhapsody," "Green Book" and "The Darkest Hour") end up winning some awards and aren't as soulless as those that didn't make the list. One tried and true Oscar bait deals with slavery and the struggle of the Black community in American history, which seems from the outside what "Nickel Boys" was supposed to be - another soulless Oscar bait film focusing on the trails of the Black community. However, that's the farthest thing from the truth, as the film itself is a haun...

  The Amateur Starring Rami Malek, Laurence Fishburne, Rachel Brosnahan, Caitriona Balfe Directed by James Hawes Jason Bourne. John Wick. James Bond. Charlie Heller. One of these names doesn't fit with the others, and it's obvious who that is. "The Amateur" is amateurish in every possible way, centering on a CIA cryptographer who wants to learn a basic set of skills to avenge the death of his wife, and in the process provides an extremely dull, boring, lifeless outing that doesn't even allow me to muster up any intellectual misgivings because, honestly, I don't care to. Charlie Heller (Rami Malek) is a CIA cryptographer who is madly in love with his wife Sarah (Rachel Brosnahan) and has an intellectual mind for technology and electronics that is seemingly unparalleled. However, when Sarah is taken hostage during a terrorist attack in London and killed, he blackmails his superiors to get him training to be a CIA vigilante as he desires to kill those who killed ...

Sinners Starring Michael B. Jordan, Miles Caton, Hailee Steinfeld, Wunmi Mosaku Directed by Ryan Coogler There has been a lot of hype behind "Sinners" after its release, calling it one of the best films of the year, Ryan Coogler's magnum opus, and Michael B. Jordan's finest work to date. To add to the praise was a near-100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and garnering an A score on Cinemascore, the first horror movie to accomplish that ever, and among the pantheon of great horror films, that's as a rousing endorsement as anything. So going into it my expectations were nearly through the barn roof, and while it failed a bit to meet that unreasonable expectation, the film deserves all the praise it's been receiving and more, if not for one particular scene in the movie that will be studied in film school classes for decades to come, not to mention the performances, cinematography, and...alright, pretty much everything. In the height of the Jim Crow Law-era south, tw...

Death of a Unicorn Starring Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, Will Poulter, Tea Leoni Directed by Alex Scharfman Unicorns have existed throughout history in stories, artwork, and verbal history passed down from generation to generation, and it's even mentioned in the Bible (the Hebrew word for "re'em" that's nowadays translated as "oxen" actually means "unicorn" or "horned animal"), yet no one has ever found one in the wild. A horse-like creature with a horn in its head isn't something unheard of, as rhinoceros and narwhals have that same appendage, but it's the myth behind unicorns that is more dubious: that their blood can cure all disease and they're magical. If anything, they're just another breed of animal not yet discovered, which does take away from the wonder of it all, but it doesn't stop us from living the dream. First-time director Alex Scharfman delivers this concept in "Death of a Unicorn" that not on...

Drop Starring Meghann Fahy, Brandon Sklenar, Violett Beane, Jacob Robinson Directed by Christopher Landon There's times where I wonder why so many people like certain movies, one of which is 2020's "The Invisible Man" which is critically hailed as a fantastic horror film, but personally it was one with so many plot holes I wondered how it got so much acclaim. Elisabeth Moss was excellent and the story of a battered woman being gaslit into believing she's crazy is a tough theme to tackle and they did do that well, but when it came to the overall way it told the story it had a lot to be desired in my mind, as one point it seemed too simple while other times it was overly complicated and exaggerated. "Drop" is another film - one that's gotten critical acclaim but I don't see why. Like "The Invisible Man" it deals with spousal battery but this time its the peripheral story, with the main thrust being a first date going terribly wrong. While...

The Friend Starring Naomi Watts, Sarah Pidgeon, Carla Gugino, Bill Murray Directed by Scott McGehee & David Siegel Suicide is never an easy topic to discuss, but it's something millions of people think about - and follow through with - all the time. Many see it as the ultimate selfish act, ending your pain but leaving those you love the pain of not understanding what happened and why, but nothing is ever that cut-and-dry. I've seen memes out there (not the funny ones) that talk about suicide and its implications on those left behind, and one of them is truly moving - it says "don't kill yourself, your dog will wonder where you went." While many might see that as darkly humorous considering dogs aren't people, for anyone who's owned a dog - or loves animals in general - this is a major wake-up call for anyone contemplating ending things. Dogs are man's best friend, and they don't understand what happens when you don't come home (there's ...