JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Worst2First: My Most Anticipated Films of Spring 2023  Spring is in the air which means warmer weather, longer days, and a wide array of different films hitting theaters during the months of March and April, ten of which I'm the most excited for. Here are the top ten films I'm most excited to see this spring... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10 Air April 5 People might not remember, but there was a time Nike shoes was in the tank, and looked like they would go under due to their more popular competition. Then came an idea so outlandish and crazy that it just had to work: signing an unknown basketball player who's never set foot on the court and making a shoe after him. That player's name is Michael Jordan, and the rest is sports history - but no one knew that then. Directed by Oscar-winning director Ben Affleck and also starring himself alongside Matt Damon, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman, Chris Messina, and Chris Tucker, "Air" look...

  Cocaine Bear Starring Keri Russell, O'Shea Jackson Jr., Alden Ehrenreich, Ray Liotta Directed by Elizabeth Banks There are films that, when you go into it, you really don't have any idea what you're about to see. One example is last year's stellar "Everything Everywhere All at Once," which was a highly thoughtful, existential, nihilistic family drama-action-comedy-horror spanning multiverses. Then there's other films that you know exactly what you're getting into when you buy a ticket, such as "Cocaine Bear" which, simply, is about a...cocaine bear. Much has been said that this is based on a true story, and it is, but the true story is much more boring than what the film portrays. Still, you know what you're getting into and it's a wonderfully breezy 90-minute gory comedy romp about a lovable black bear who ingests a lot (and I mean a LOT) of cocaine and, as everyone who takes that much cocaine does, goes on a blood-fueled rampage i...

Marlowe Starring Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, Jessica Lange, Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaie Directed by Neil Jordan The concept of the hard-broiled suit and hat wearing detective has existed in literature for literally centuries, and one of America's most famous detectives of the sort is Philip Marlowe, created by author Raymond Chandler back in the 1930s. Long after Chandler's death, Marlowe continued to live through  the approved works of other authors, including John Banville, who's 2014 novel The Black-Eyed Blonde is the basis for the latest film iteration "Marlowe." Joining the likes of Hollywood royalty Humphrey Bogart, George Montgomery, James Garner, Elliot Gould and Robert Mitchum, Liam Neeson is the latest actor to take on the role, and by all rights it should've been a terrific neo-noir thriller, but is so generic and void of any excitement I found myself nodding off several times throughout the film. Detective Phillip Marlowe (Liam Neeson) is hired by the...

Magic Mike's Last Dance Starring Channing Tatum, Salma Hayek Pinault, Ayub Khan Din, Jemelia George Directed by Steven Soderbergh The art of dance has always impressed me, mostly because it's something I could never do myself (seriously, I look like I'm having a seizure when I try). The talent, the dedication, the practice, the precision, and the pure...magic...of it all is mesmerizing, and no matter what style it's always something riveting. Dancing tells stories in ways other mediums can't, and they also connect us to our shared heritage while also introducing different styles from countries that we've never heard of. Dancing - like music - is the international language. It knows no barriers, no limits, no race, no gender - it just is. Thus is the magic in "Magic Mike's Last Dance," the third (and hopefully) final outing of Channing Tatum's somewhat-biopic-story of his stripper character with the heart of gold make it big overseas. After losi...

Empire of Light Starring Olivia Colman, Michael Ward, Colin Firth, Toby Jones Directed by Sam Mendes An Oscar-bait film is a film specifically designed to garner Academy Award nominations, and while they're typically brilliant works, you can sense that the sole purpose of it is getting those little golden men. Some films that accomplished this goal are "The Blind Side," "Vice," and "CODA," while Oscar-bait films that utterly failed to garner any golden statuettes include the likes of "J. Edgar," "The Last Duel," and (seriously) "Cats," but then there were some that did earn some nominations but not for the bigger categories, such as "The Greatest Showman" and "One Night in Miami" and weren't necessarily bad, but in an overly crowded year other films outshined them. "Empire of Light" is one such film, an obvious Oscar-bait contender that was led by a near-career-best by Olivia Colman, but i...

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey Starring Nikolai Leon, Maria Taylor, Craig David Dowsett, Chris Cordell Directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield Every so often beloved characters fall into the public domain, meaning their license has expired and they're now free to be used by anyone for anything their creative minds can concoct. On January 1, 2022, the copyright of A.A. Milne's 1926 book Winnie-the-Pooh expired, meaning the original iterations of the beloved honey-loving bear and his whimsical pals Piglet, Eeyore, Owl, and Rabbit became public domain (Tigger, however, is still under copyright because he debuted in the 1928 book The House at Pooh Corner and won't be available for public domain until 2024, so be prepared to see him in the sequel - also, Disney technically has the rights to Winnie-the-Pooh but only when he's donning his red shirt, here they maneuver around that by having him wear a flannel) and faster than you can say "oh bother" someone turned these...

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania Starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Kathryn Newton, Jonathan Majors Directed by Peyton Reed The Marvel Cinematic Universe began back in 2008 when Robert Downey Jr. donned the Iron Man uniform and single-handedly changed the way audiences see superhero movies, and the momentum only intensified with the addition of Captain America, Thor, Doctor Strange, and the other Avengers who all came together in the monumental films "Infinity War" and "Endgame." However, after spending years building these characters up, it seemed that "Endgame" was the end of the MCU itself, instead of being the stopping point for their first story arc - The Infinity Saga - and transferring to their second story arc, The Multiverse Saga. Ever since "Endgame," the MCU has faltered in maintaining its forward momentum, with critics especially turning on the once-beloved cinematic universe, where it's a safer bet that you'll see negativ...

Blonde Starring Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Bobby Cannavale, Xavier Samuel Directed by Andrew Dominik There's very few films out there that I've seen that've been extremely difficult for me to watch, but not because of the grotesque nature of the thing, but by the sheer drudgery it develops. Films that are overly long, yet don't seem to tell any sort of story, but instead wanders aimlessly from one moment to the next and use tricky camera effects to try to be smarter than it is. "Blonde" is one such film: an extraordinarily exploitative "biopic" about one of Hollywood's most tragic real-life figures that leaves you feeling gross after watching it, mostly due to the subject matter, but also because you wasted almost three hours of your life that - apart from an Awards-worthy lead performance - would've been left to obscurity. Norma Jeane Mortenson (Ana de Armas) hasn't had a great life, or even a good one. She never met her father, and her...

80 for Brady Starring Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, Sally Field Directed by Kyle Marvin There's a stigma in Hollywood that anyone over the age of 35 is considered too old and therefore are relegated to certain typecast roles: the stiff parent, the cancer patient, the eccentric aunt/uncle, or the character living with past regrets - and those are just roles for dramatic films. For comedies they're the clueless parent, the quirky retiree, or the "say anything because that's just old man/old woman [insert character name here]" role. While they can still earn award nominations for their dramatic typecast performances, their comedic roles are oftentimes discarded and demeaned due to the paper-thin storyline. Films like "Poms" (about a group of elderly women forming a cheerleading squad), "Going in Style" (about three retirees planning a bank heist), "Last Vegas" (a "Hangover" style film featuring older actors enjoying one...

Knock at the Cabin Starring Dave Bautista, Jonathan Groff, Ben Aldridge, Kristen Cui Directed by M. Night Shyamalan In a remote cabin in the middle of nowhere, a group of people have to convince another group of people to sacrifice someone to save the world, otherwise Armageddon and the apocalypse will occur. You might have seen this idea before, in Drew Goddard's 2012 film "Cabin in the Woods." That film served as a meta look at the horror genre as a whole, as a group of young attractive singles travel to a cabin in the woods and are tortured by different monsters and creatures, all to be sacrificed for a deity that's existed since the beginning of time who's insatiable blood lust must be quenched or else he'll rise to the earth and decimate everyone. The film was a huge success and has achieved cult status since then, and now it's time to visit another cabin in another woods with another sacrificial end of the world decision, but this one, unfortunately,...

  Living Starring Bill Nighy, Aimee Lou Wood, Alex Sharp, Tom Burke Directed by Oliver Hermanus When it comes to getting older, there's a bunch of sayings that are as archaic as they come: "you can't teach a dog new tricks," "they're as stubborn as a mule," and the like seem to point to the fact that once you hit your "golden years," you're a joyless, stuck-in-your-ways person who hates everyone and everything. While that is actually true for some people, it's not how every old person feels: in fact, sometimes when you hit your elder years you discover new things about life, an appreciation for the rest of the life you have to live, and wise, sage advice to offer the next generations. This is all the more potent when you realize you really don't have much longer to live, and choose to live it with all your might. Mr. Williams (Bill Nighy) is the head of the Public Works Department shortly after World War II, and he's a creature ...

Infinity Pool Starring Alexander Skarsgard, Mia Goth, Cleopatra Coleman, Jaliil Lespert Directed by Brandon Cronenberg If we could get away with every hedonistic act we've wanted to commit in our minds, would we do it? If we knew that we'd face no consequences for our actions, would we allow our better angels to prevail, or let the demon on our other shoulder dictate our desires? In a way, that's what "Infinity Pool" asks, but in a way that leaves the audience not really confused about what happened, but rather an apathetic shrug and wondering what happened to Brandon Cronenberg after his dazzling second feature "Possessor." James Foster (Alexander Skarsgard) is a struggling writer who's written one book in six years, and to gain inspiration his wealthy wife Em (Cleopatra Coleman) takes him on a getaway to a luxurious island resort in the country of Latoka. There he meets Gabi Bauer (Mia Goth) who's a huge fan of his, and is invited to dine with ...