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Showing posts from November, 2020

Iron Mask

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Iron Mask Starring Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Flemyng, Xingtong Yao Directed by Oleg Stepchenko Dear "Gigli," "Glitter," "The Last Airbender," "Catwoman," "Battlefield Earth," "Cats," and "The Happening..." It it with sincere sadness that I inform all of you that you are no longer considered to be the worst films ever made.  You all had a very good run and should be proud of that, but a new film has come to usurp your title, a film that I'm positive will never be matched, and that film is "Iron Mask" - no, not the Leonardo DiCaprio "The Man in the Iron Mask," but just "Iron Mask," whose name itself is also an enigma, but I will explain that in detail later. "Iron Mask" is a film - if you supposedly call it that - that doesn't really know what it's doing.  There's so many different stories going on that you don't really focus on any one in par...

Antebellum

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Antebellum Starring Janelle Monae, Eric Lange, Jena Malone, Jack Huston Directed by Gerard Bush & Christopher Renz A movie trailer is something that should entice audiences to go see the film, offering something that's tantalizing and provoking in a neat two-minute package, but more often than not, trailers tend to show pretty much the entire movie, and you can look no further than 2018's abysmal "Black Christmas" to see that.  When I first saw the trailer for "Antebellum," I was blown away by what I didn't know - it didn't offer any insight into what the film was, where it was going, or how it was going to get there, and it hooked me in like a fish to a lure due to its mystery and seemingly alternate-reality bending.  Whereas some trailers are terrible for showcasing the entire film, other trailers are incredibly misleading, resulting in watching something you think you're going to see, and it being something totally different - which is wha...

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

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Borat Subsequent Moviefilm Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Maria Bakalova, Dani Popescu, Rudy Guiliani Directed by Jason Wolinar I think I'm one of the few people who didn't find 2006's "Borat" funny, finding myself groaning more than giggling, although I did have respect for Sacha Baron Cohen's ability to really make a rube out of unwitting participants who somehow thought his idiotic facade as a news reporter from Kazakhstan was real.  Fourteen years later, he dons his ridiculous persona once again to shed light on America's faults, this time focusing on the misogyny of women and the politicization of America itself that's threatened to tear the country apart - all done for the sake of laughs. Fourteen years after his film ridiculed his great nation, Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) is released from his Kazakhstan prison by Premier Nursultan Nazarbayev (Dani Popescu) with a mission - to make Kazakhstan great again by traveling to America and offering their priz...