JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! Starring Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Ricardo Montalban, George Kennedy Directed by David Zucker The 1980s was the golden age of spoof comedy films.  "Airplane!," "Spaceballs," "Clue," "UHF," "Police Academy," and "The Naked Gun" proved that there was a strong desire to see favorite serious films turned into parodies, resulting in uproarious laughter and longevity that probably no one expected.  The 90s continued that trend with the likes of "Hot Shots!" and the early 2000s saw the conclusion of this subgenre's success with "Scary Movie."  Since then, the spoof movies that've been released have been atrocious, movies I won't mention in good company because they're absolutely awful and I have no idea why they were continually made, but thankfully it's been awhile since one of them has been made. Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Les...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Home Invasion Films As you keep your stay at home mandate, at least you can rest assured that you're either by yourself or surrounded by your family, which can't be said for the characters in these films that've received unwanted visitors during their stay at home. Here are my personal top ten home invasion films, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 The Strangers  Based on true events, "The Strangers" is unnerving in its simplicity, and unrelenting in its terror.  Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman star as a couple who find themselves the unwitting victims of three masked assailants who taunt, terrorize, and torment them throughout the film's runtime.  What's the most scary part is the reasoning - not because the captors were wronged by the couple, or anything in their past, but simply because they were home. #9   Funny Games A young family on vacation meets two seemingly ni...

The Hitcher Starring Rutger Hauer, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jeffrey DeMunn Directed by Robert Harmon Some of the most terrifying horror movies come from true-life events, as well as those where the killer's motives aren't easily revealed.  We can watch films where Jason Voorhees is chopping up campers or Freddy Krueger is killing kids in their sleep and not really feel any sense of danger, because both of those things are implausible (not so much killing campers, but Voorhees is an immortal killing machine that's been killed and revived again and again).  Then there's films like "The Strangers," which features three killers who enter a couple's home to torment and kill them - and their reasoning: "because you were home."  There was no long-standing vendetta that the killers had, no past sin that the protagonists accidentally committed on them, but rather the killers killed just because they enjoyed it. "The Hitche...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Actors Who First Appeared  in Terrible Horror Films Some actors are lucky enough to appear in a breakout performance that catapulted them to superstar status overnight, while others had to work to get to where they're at.  Typically, horror films feature several actors since the purpose of most of them is to increase a body count, and some of today's most notable actors got their start in cheesy, forgettable, and downright terrible horror films that they probably would wish people forgot about.  But on the bright side, this could give hope to those who've appeared in terrible horror films that maybe their career isn't over before it began. Here are my top ten actors who first appeared in terrible horror films, worst2first (first being the utmost worst)... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Kate Mara Urban Legends: Bloody Mary  Before appearing in series like "American Horror Story" and "House...

Street Fighter Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Ming-Na Wen, Kylie Minogue Directed by Steven de Souza It's common for a big-name actor to have at least one film in their resume that they're not proud of - George Clooney in "Batman & Robin," Halle Berry in "Catwoman," Sandra Bullock in "All About Steve" - but at least they get a chance to redeem themselves with better films.  Some actors, unfortunately, never get that chance - either they're run out of Hollywood altogether, or more tragic they pass away.  Hollywood icon Orson Welles is easily best known for his groundbreaking work in the cinematic classic "Citizen Kane," but one of his final films before his passing was voicing the menacing planet-eating monster Unicron in "The Transformers Movie," a role that he himself said afterward he was embarrassed about.  Another big-name actor was Raul Julia, best known for his role in "The Addams Famil...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Epic Films There are times you don't have a lot of time and want to watch a quick, mindless movie.  Then there's times where you have more free time, and want to check out an epic film that won't make you feel like you wasted over three hours of your life. Here are my personal top ten favorite epic films (films lasting longer than 3 hours), worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 The Hateful Eight 3 Hours, 7 Minutes Quentin Tarantino's eighth film pays homage to the classic films and also incorporates his unique blend of sharp-witted humor and bloody violence, all the while making you feel like you haven't just sit through an over-three-hour film.  The movie centers on eight strangers during the Civil War who take refuge during a winter storm, and realize that each of them has their own secrets, and no one can be trusted.  Of course, the tension builds from minute-to-minute leading to ano...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Films About Isolation As we enter another month of self-isolation, we may think that we're going to go stir crazy stuck in our homes, but it can always be worse.  On the flip side, it can also provide a waiting period for you to explore the world on your own afterward and see everything life has to offer.  These ten films focus on a character who deals with isolation in their own way. Here are my top ten films about isolation, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10  All is Lost If you're going to feature an entire film with just one actor, you can't top Academy Award-winning legend Robert Redford.  "All is Lost" focuses entirely on his character as he sets out on a solo voyage in the Indian Ocean, who finds himself in trouble when his boat collides with a shipping container.  Forced to abandon his boat, he seemingly floats helplessly as he tries valiantly to find hope in a hopeless situati...

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Paula Garces, Neil Patrick Harris Directed by Danny Leiner The old saying goes, "life is about the journey, not the destination," and Hollywood has capitalized on that in countless films where we see our heroes traversing a wide array of hardships and struggles to reach their destination, and find themselves changed not by their arrival, but how they got there.  An epic hero's journey that transforms our heroes from the inside out, and proves that they'll never be the same after the experience.  While this works obviously on the grand scale of epic blockbusters, it also works in the simplistic raunchy comedy "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle," showing two stoners who embark on their own epic quest and find themselves changed along the way. Harold Lee (John Cho) is a Korean-American who works in investment banking, and is clearly a pushover.  He does whatever his jerk boss wa...