JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Let's Be Cops Starring Jake Johnson, Damon Wayans Jr., Rob Riggle, Nina Dobrev Directed by Luke Greenfield Synopsis: Ryan (Jake Johnson) is a former college football star who suffered an injury and is now unemployed and for all accounts a loser.  His roommate and best friend Justin (Damon Wayans Jr.) is a video game developer who doesn't have the courage to stand up for himself and have his ideas heard. One night they're invited to a costume party (which turns out to be a masquerade party, but according to Ryan, they're "all the same"), and they go dressed as cops.  When they leave the party they learn they draw attention from the public, and it gives them a sense of belonging and power, so they decide to keep up the charade.  Ryan is more into the farce than Justin, going as far as watching YouTube videos, buying an old police car and even getting a police scanner and real sirens. At first its fun and games, but then the guys come into contact ...

Snowpiercer Starring Chris Evans, Kang-ho Song, John Hurt, Tilda Swinton Directed by Joon-ho Bong Synopsis: In 2014, the government conducted an experiment to eradicate global warming, but instead it sent the world into a new Ice Age.  All of humanity perished, except the few who were able to find their way to Snowpiercer - a train that perpetually criss-crossed the globe and sustained life within. Within that train the social classes have evolved.  The front of the train includes the wealthy and privileged, and as the train headed toward the back, the lower classes lived, until the utterly destitute were found in the back. Curtis (Chris Evans) is tired of living like scum, and plans a revolution with his friend Edgar (Jamie Bell) and his mentor Gilliam (John Hurt) to take over the train and advance to the front, where the mysterious Wilford (Ed Harris) - the man who invented the train - resided. As they advance from traincar to traincar, Curtis and his frien...

The Rover Starring Guy Pearce, Robert Pattinson, Scoot McNairy, David Field Directed by David Michod Synopsis: In Australia, ten years after a global economic collapse, Eric (Guy Pearce) is minding his own business when his car is stolen by Henry (Scott McNairy), and he embarks on a rampage to get it back.  Along the way he finds Henry's brother Rey (Robert Pattinson), and the two form a very uneasy bond as they face unparalleled perils and dangers as Eric makes his way to Henry and the real reason why he's so interested in getting his car back. Review: It was interesting to see a film that takes place during a post-apocalyptic event, but it not being some zombie apocalypse or a global nuclear devastation, but instead what would happen if the economy collapsed - something that is unfortunately very possible. Back to the film itself, I was pleasantly surprised how well Robert Pattinson performed, especially since I've only really known him from that awful ...

Fury Starring Brad Pitt, Logan Lerman, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Bernthal Directed by David Ayer Synopsis: In April 1945, the European Theater of World War II is ending, and the Allies are making their final push into Nazi territory, but the Germans have a powerful weapon - their tanks are more powerful and can sustain more damage than the American tanks. "Wardaddy" (Brad Pitt) has commanded his Fury tank for years, and has kept the same three men at his side - "Bible" (Shia LaBeouf), "Gordo" (Michael Pena) and "Coon-Ass" (Jon Bernthal), and the men consider each other family. With the addition of Norman (Logan Lerman) - a youthful lad who has never seen the ravages of war - the four men try to initiate him into the real terrors of war that at first terrify Norman, but slowly he begins to understand that it's either kill or be killed. When their tank breaks down on the middle of a road, they become sitting ducks as an army of Germa...

The Signal Starring Brenton Thwaites, Laurence Fishburne, Olivia Cooke, Beau Knapp Directed by William Eubank Synopsis: MIT students Nic (Brenton Thwaites), Haley (Olivia Cooke) and Jonah (Beau Knapp) are on a cross-country road trip to deliver Haley to California, and along the way they use their computer skills to locate a hacker known as NOMAD who almost got them expelled from MIT. They find NOMAD's location, and suddenly things become very weird, as all three black out, and when he comes to, Nic is in a strange facility with everyone wearing hazmat suits, and the mysterious Damon (Laurence Fishburne) asking him questions.  He doesn't know where his friends are, he doesn't know what happened, but as things slowly become clearer, Nic discovers a mysterious conspiracy involving the government and aliens, and how he and his friends have become the ultimate guinea pigs. Review: "The Signal" is a smart, psychological thriller that boasts an amazing ...

The Colony Starring Kevin Zegers, Laurence Fishburne, Bill Paxton, Charlotte Sullivan Directed by Jeff Renfroe Synopsis: In 2045, humanity built weather machines to control the climate due to global warming, but the machines break down and the world is tossed into another ice age, where the survivors have to bunker down underground.  Briggs (Laurence Fishburne) is the leader of Colony 7, and when he hears a distress call from Colony 5, he takes Sam (Kevin Zegers) and another community member to find out what happened.  He leaves Kai (Charlotte Sullivan) in charge, rather than his friend Mason (Bill Paxton), who is seen more as a dictator than a contributing community member. Upon arriving at Colony 5, the group learns of a location where they've gotten the weather machine to work again, but they also run into a gang of cannibals who killed the entire Colony, and chases them back home. Review: I am a sucker for post-apocalyptic movies, and I heard some good thin...

Into the Storm Starring Max Deacon, Sarah Wayne Callies, Nathan Kress, Richard Armitage Directed by Steven Quale Synopsis: It's graduation day in Silverton, Oklahoma.  Vice Principal Gary (Richard Armitage) is busy getting everything prepared, ignoring his sons Donnie (Max Deacon) and Trey (Nathan Kress), who are supposed to videotape the graduation.  As a storm looms, he debates holding off graduation, but decides against it, while Donnie skips out to do a special film with Kaitlyn (Alycia Carey), a girl in school he likes. Meanwhile, a team of storm chasers led by the annoying and downright rude Pete (Matt Walsh) are on a dry streak, and they feel this upcoming storm system is what they need to finally find a tornado.  Allison (Sarah Wayne Callies), the meteorologist on the team, uses her instincts and directs them to Silverton. As the outdoor graduation ceremony takes place, storm clouds form, and soon the town in the setting for several horrific tornado...

The Giver Starring Jeff Bridges, Meryl Streep, Brenton Thwaites, Odeya Rush Directed by Phillip Noyce Synopsis: In 2048, after a great war, those who survived have chosen to get rid of races, emotions, feelings and other things that they considered tainted.  They've all had their memories erased, except for the Receiver of Memory (Jeff Bridges), who is the only person in the community who has memories.  He advises the Chief Elder (Meryl Streep) and the other Elders on decisions in the community. On his graduation day, Jonas (Brenton Thwaites) is given the job of the Receiver of Memory, and receives memories from the Giver (Bridges).  At first he experiences all the things society was good for - friendship, love, dancing, music, and color.  As he experiences these new feelings, he wants to share them with his family and his good friend Fiona (Odeya Rush), but he is instructed not to do so.  Soon Jonas experiences the worst the old world had to offer...

The Spell Starring Lee Grant, Susan Myers, Lelia Goldoni, Helen Hunt Directed by Lee Philips Synopsis: Rita (Susan Myers) is an overweight girl who is taunted by her classmates, ridiculed by her father and teased by her younger sister (Helen Hunt).  One day she discovers she has telekinesis, and  begins taking revenge.  Her mother, Marilyn (Lee Grant) knows something is wrong and sets out to make it right. Review: Terrible.  Utterly, utterly terrible.  A wannabe "Carrie" film.  Fails on every level.  Acting is atrocious.  There's stupid music that goes from Alfred Hitchcock-style to random 70s TV comedy shows.  The only interesting thing was that it was one of Helen Hunt's first roles.  Other than that, there's nothing here. Summary: Avoid, avoid...and avoid! My Rating: D-

Rio 2 Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Bruno Mars, Kristin Chenoweth Directed by Carlos Saldanha Synopsis: Blu (Jesse Eisenberg) and his wife Jewel (Anne Hathaway) are living an ideal life in Rio with their three young children, when they discover that there's more blue macaws in the Amazon jungle.  Jewel is enthusiastic to take the kids into the jungle to find them, but Blu is more apprehensive, but finally agrees.  Unknown to them, they're followed by their old enemy Nigel (Jermaine Clement), as well as a band of construction workers who desire to cut down the trees in the Amazon. Upon arrival, Jewel discovers her father is still alive, as well as her aunt and other childhood friends, and she and the children flourish in their new environment, while Blu struggles after being domesticated his whole life.  At first he is shunned and ostracized by the other macaws, but his knowledge of people might just be what they need to survive. Review: The fir...

Annabelle Starring Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Tony Amendola, Alfre Woodard Directed by John Leonetti Synopsis: Expecting parents Mia (Annabelle Wallis) and John (Ward Horton) experience a night of terror at the hands of two cult members who die in their home, the female committing suicide while cradling a doll John gave Mia. Soon after, strange events begin to occur, and Mia doesn't feel safe in her home after a mysterious fire.  They move to an apartment complex where the events begin escalating, and it becomes clear to Mia that something is after her and especially her newborn baby.  Believing the devil is living inside her doll, she turns to Father Perez (Tony Amendola), but not even the church can help her.  The devil won't quit until he gets what he wants - a soul. Review: "Annabelle" is based off a real life account of a possessed doll (in reality, it was a Raggedy Ann doll, not a Victorian porcelain doll) that landed in the hands of world-f...

Paranormal Asylum: The Revenge of Typhoid Mary Starring Aaron Mathias, Nathan Spiteri, Laura Gilreath, Jenny Mitchell Directed by Nimrod Zalmanowitz Synopsis: Longtime friends Mark (Aaron Mathias) and Andy (Nathan Spiteri) are making a documentary on Typhoid Mary.  With the help of Andy's girlfriend Michelle (Laura Gilreath), they place cameras in an abandoned asylum where Mary was supposedly taken to, and things start going downhill fast.  Mark is chased by ghosts, Michelle gets possessed, and someone human is out to stop their investigation at any cost.  All of which leads to a surprising conclusion with a twist ending that you won't believe - because it's incredibly unbelievable. Review: The movie had promise, that's for sure.  An investigation into the mystery that is Typhoid Mary is something intriguing, but unfortunately it becomes a jumbled mess involving soul eating witches, exorcists, trained assassins, old men jumping from roofs, a possessed w...