JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Maleficent Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley, Sam Riley Directed by Robert Stromberg Synopsis: Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) lives in the faerie land known as the Moors, which borders the human world.  Humans and faeries don't mix, but one day a young Maleficent comes into contact with a young boy named Stefan, and the two form a strong friendship and, as the years progress, a relationship. However, Stefan's desire to be king soon overtakes him, and he stops seeing her.  When the current king tries to take over the Moors, he offers anyone who can bring the dead Maleficent the kingship.  Stefan (Sharlto Copley) tricks Maleficent by burning off her wings and bringing them to the king, which enrages Maleficent.  Years later, she learns Stefan is the new king and has given birth to a daughter, and she arrives and places a curse on her, that when she turns sixteen she will prick her finger and fall into an eternal slumber that only the kiss...

Out of the Furnace Starring Christian Bale, Woody Harrelson, Casey Affleck, Willem Dafoe Directed by Scott Cooper Synopsis: Russell (Christian Bale) is a hard working man who is employed in a steel mill in Pittsburgh.  He's worked hard all his life and has a beautiful girlfriend Lena (Zoe Saldana), and is very close with his brother Rodney (Casey Affleck), who just returned from the war. All this ends tragically one fateful night, which results in Russell going to jail for five years.  When he comes out, he finds his father has died, he lost his girlfriend to police chief Wesley Barnes (Forest Whitaker), and Rodney is in deep debt and is involved in an underground fighting ring with his bookie John Petty (Willem Dafoe). After a fight goes bad with maniacal Harlan DeGroat (Woody Harrelson), both John and Rodney go missing, and Russell feels that the police don't really care and sets out on his own to find out what happened to his brother, placing himself in harm...

The Grand Budapest Hotel Starring Ralph Fiennes, Tony Revolori, Arien Brody, F. Murray Abraham Directed by Wes Anderson Synopsis: In modern time, a young woman visits the grave of the Author, while holding his book "The Grand Budapest Hotel."  In 1985, the Author (Tom Wilkinson) informs the audience as to how he wrote the book. He takes us back to 1968, when the young Author (Jude Law) meets the owner of the now defunct Grand Budapest Hotel, Mr. Moustafa (F. Murray Abraham).  The Author wants to know his story, and Moustafa is more than willing to share it. In 1932, a young Moustafa - whose first name is Zero (Tony Revolori), serves as a lobby boy during the glory days of the Grand Budapest.  He works under the tutelage of the concierge, M. Gustave (Ralph Fiennes), who is also a playboy who woos wealthy dowagers, including Madame D. (Tilda Swinton).  When she dies, he inherits her priceless painting, "Boy With Apple," which infuriates her son Dmitri ...

The Princess Bride Starring Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon Directed by Rob Reiner Synopsis: Grandson (Fred Savage) is sick, and is visited by his Grandfather (Peter Falk), who tells him the story of the Princess Bride. Buttercup (Robin Wright) falls in love with Westley (Cary Elwes), but Westley is taken by pirates and assumed dead.  Years later, she is set to be wed to Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon), but she does not love him, as her love died when Westley did.  Buttercup gets abducted by three bumbling thieves (Wallace Shawn, Mandy Patinkin, Andre the Giant), and is rescued by a mysterious masked pirate, who turns out to be Westley.  With her love alive again, Buttercup is happier than ever, but she still decides to marry Humperdinck to keep Westley safe, and he sets out on an adventure to take down the evil prince and rescue his love for good. Review: "The Princess Bride" is one of the few comedic classics that have withs...

Edge of Tomorrow Starring Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Brendan Gleeson, Bill Paxton Directed by Doug Liman Synopsis: An alien race known as Mimics are taking over Europe, and General Brigham (Brendan Gleeson) orders Major William Cage (Tom Cruise) to cover combat on the beach where humanity is waging its last stand.  Cage, who serves as a public affairs officer, doesn't want to go to the battle, and is eventually forced to do so. Completely inept and totally cowardly, Cage falls to the battleground and is subsequently killed by an Alpha, which is one of the stronger Mimics.  Before he does, however, Cage is able to kill it, and its blood absorbs with his.  Then he wakes up two days earlier just as he is dropped to basic training, and realizes that he's re-living the events. Once again, Cage dies on the battlefield, but not before seeing Rita (Emily Blunt), who is well known as a mighty warrior who defended a previous battle and led to a Mimic decimation. Befor...

The Expendables 3 Starring Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson, Jason Statham, Wesley Snipes Directed by Patrick Hughes Synopsis: The boys are back!  After rescuing fellow Expendable Doc (Wesley Snipes), the old gang - led by fearless leader Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) - set out to stop a shipment of bombs meant to be delivered to a warlord in Somalia.  Barney learns that the man they're after is Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), an Expendable co-founder who went rogue, and someone Barney thought was long dead.  The attack goes terribly wrong and Stonebanks escapes. Barney, upset that he put his friends' lives in jeopardy, decides to re-start the Expendables with a new, younger breed of soldiers, but this too ends terribly as they're captured by Stonebanks, and Barney relies on his old crew to free them and stop Stonebanks' evil plan. Review: "The Expendables" series has never been something you see in hopes of plot, character development or acting.  I...

Divergent Starring Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet, Jai Courtney Directed by Neil Burger Synopsis: In Chicago 100 years after the war, society is governed by splitting people into one of five groups: Abnegation the selfless, Amity the peaceful, Candor the honest, Dauntless the brave, and Erudite the intelligent.  People are assigned a faction based on an aptitude test, or by choice. Beatrice (Shailene Woodley) has a family who belongs to Abnegation, who also is the governing body, yet she's always had a desire to be Dauntless.  When she takes her test, she discovers that she's neither - she's a Divergent.  A Divergent is someone who doesn't belong to any group, and are the most feared by the people, especially the powerful leader of Erudite, Jeanine (Kate Winslet).  To hide this potentially deadly "flaw," Beatrice joins Dauntless and falls for one its leaders, Four (Theo James).  As she struggles to hide her identity, she begins to d...

Deliver Us From Evil Starring Eric Bana, Edgar Ramirez, Olivia Munn, Joel McHale Directed by Scott Derrickson Synopsis: Sarchie (Eric Bana) is a NYPD Sergeant who famously took down a deranged child molester and killer.  Recently he takes on a baffling case of a woman who threw her young son into a lion's den at the Bronx Zoo, and begins to uncover a mysterious connection to three Iraqi war veterans and a deadly unearthly presence.  With the aid of Father Mendoza (Edgar Ramirez), Sarchie has to re-ignite his old faith in order to combat an evil much more terrifying than any criminal. Review: In the guise of "The Exorcism of Emily Rose," "Deliver Us From Evil" is more of a cop drama than supernatural thriller, and that's the driving force behind why I enjoyed it so much.  If it were a simple demonic story, it would be a typical generic story.  However, director Scott Derrickson throws in a mystery that has you guessing throughout, and takes you...

13 Sins Starring Mark Webber, Devon Graye, Rutina Wesley, Ron Perlman Directed by Daniel Stamm Synopsis: Elliot Bridle (Mark Webber) is a loser.  He lost his job, his father has spent his whole life insulting him, he's been bullied throughout school, and now he has to care for his mentally challenged brother (Devon Graye). His only tiny pinprick of light comes with his soon-to-be wife Shelby (Rutina Wesley) and their unborn child.  However, even this weighs on Elliot as now he has no way to financially support them. Until one night he gets a mysterious call from a man who seems to be watching him, and invites him to play a simple game.  Thirteen tasks, and at the end, he'd be a millionaire.  At first it seemed like innocent events (killing and eating a fly), but they soon escalate to violence and murder.  Elliot can't get out because if he does, he'll lose everything and go to jail. Who is behind this?  Why are they doing it?  Why did...

Guardians of the Galaxy Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Lee Pace Directed by James Gunn Synopsis: In the 80s, young Peter Quill is abducted by aliens on the worst day of his life.  Twenty-six years later, he is now known as Star-Lord (Chris Pratt), and is a petty criminal working for the people who abducted him, under the leadership of Yondu Udonta (Michael Rooker). While on a seemingly routine robbery, Star-Lord steals a mysterious artifact that seems to be wanted by some very powerful enemies, including Ronan (Lee Pace), who is working for the dark lord Thanos (Josh Brolin). Ronan sends Thanos' daughter Gamora (Zoe Saldana) to track Star-Lord down, and Yondu himself puts a bounty on him, which raises the interest of bounty hunters Rocket (Bradley Cooper) and his tree sidekick Groot (Vin Deisel). When Star-Lord, Gamora, Rocket and Groot are captured, they're sent to a prison where they meet Drax (Dave Bautista), who has a severe grudge again...

God's Not Dead Starring Shane Harper, Kevin Sorbo, David White, Dean Cain Directed by Harold Cronk Synopsis: Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) is a Christian (totally, because you can clearly see the cross on his neck) who is a freshman at a local university.  He takes a Philosophy class under the strict Professor Radisson (Kevin Sorbo), who, during his first lecture, demands his students to write "God is dead" because, as a staunch Atheist, that is what he believes and what he wants his students to believe as well. Josh refuses to do this, and the professor challenges him to debate the existence of God to his fellow students, and Josh sets out to do so, despite knowing it will probably cost him his grade and affect his future dream of being a lawyer. Meanwhile, there's other stories going on.  Reverend Dave (David White) welcomes an African missionary and wants to show him the sights but his car doesn't start.  A Liberal reporter receives devastating ne...

Lucy Starring Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Min-sik Choi, Amr Waked Directed by Luc Besson Synopsis: Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is an American living in Taiwan who unwittingly becomes a drug mule for her new boyfriend, which lands her in hot water as she delivers a package to the ruthless Mr. Jang (Min-sik Choi).  Inside the package is a drug called CPH4, which he plans to market to European youth as the newest drug. He places the drug in Lucy's stomach and sends her and three other mules around the world, but before she reaches her destination the drug accidentally releases inside her, which kick-starts her brain into using more than the "normal" 10%, making her an unstoppable, unemotional being with supreme intelligence. She enlists the help of famed Professor Norman (Morgan Freeman) to help understand what is happening to her, and what she can do with it.  Meanwhile, Mr. Jang pursues her, and she is aided by French policeman Del Rio (Amr Waked).  As...

300: Rise of an Empire Starring Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson Directed by Noam Murro Synopsis: Taking place before, during, and after the events of "300," the god-king Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) is set to take over Greece with the help of his naval captain Artemisia (Eva Green), both of whom harbor bitter resentment from past tragedies caused by the Greeks. Greek warrior Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) wages a naval battle against Artemisia, and after discovering what happened to the 300 Spartans, he sets out to unite the cities of Greece against Xerxes and the Persians. Review: I had to write this review right after seeing this film, because I was worried I would forget everything that happened in it, except for lingering thoughts of Eva Green.  Green's character is the best part of the film, as she is extremely fierce, unrelenting and unforgiving, much like the sea she commands.  Other than her performance, the rest of the ...