Don't Move

Don't Move
Starring Lyndsy Fonseca, Tom Cavanagh, Russ, Rob Riggle
Directed by Maclain Nelson

Rarely does a movie arrive that I know nothing about, but while looking through my Regal app for a movie to see I came across "Don't Move," and thought to myself, "I've never heard anything about this." So I ignored the trailer, imdb, and any articles about the movie before going into it. Then I realized the mistake I made. This movie is a creature feature that's reminiscent of the classics and had all the B-rated gore and comedy you'd expect, but the creature in this movie is something that terrifies me in real life: a massive spider. While obviously done with VFX and looking nothing like a real spider, I found myself cringing in my seat numerous times, and I was pleasantly surprised by the emotional heft that the movie also held.

One year after a tragic event, Megan (Lyndsy Fonseca) decides to go on a church camping trip led by Pastor Rizzo (Tom Cavanagh) and Hunter King (Rob Riggle). They're joined by Rizzo's daughter Emma (Hunter King), her boyfriend Ryan (Joseph Lee Anderson), and young Connor (Patrick Bippus) and his grandparents (Mark Eugene Vaughn and Dee Freeman). As they set for the woods Ricky Vargas (Russ) stops them and wants to join to Pastor Rizzo's surprise since Ricky has fallen away from the church, but he wants to use the opportunity to smuggle drugs across state lines inconspicuously. After Hunter mistakes the woods for where they're supposed to go, they pitch their tents, but soon find themselves being stalked by an ancient creature who considers the woods his domain, and desires to kill and eat anything that gets into its path.

The creature feature subgenre hasn't really been popular for awhile, mostly due to the fact that studios have abandoned the classic practical effects for cheesy, corny, dated CGI. In-between the two is VFX, which has a better shelf life when it comes to the effects but still are digital and not practical. Still, the spider here is effective in its terrifying nature (at least to me), and reminded me of the giant Shelob from "The Lord of the Rings." It was effectively scary and gross, pulling off more than what I expected it to.

The movie was produced by Impractical Studios, which I never knew existed, and is based off the hit series "Impractical Jokers" featuring the antics of Murr, Q and Sal as they set out to embarrass each other in humorous ways. This movie is actually based on a book co-written by Murr, who also makes a cameo in the movie alongside Q. Maybe it put my guard down because I was expecting a blend of comedy and horror, but what this movie delivered was, for all intents and purposes, full-on horror.

The story centers around Megan, played by Hallmark Channel mainstay Lyndsy Fonseca (fellow Hallmark alum Hunter King also appears), who is both the emotional center of the movie and also showcases how badass she really is as a character. She underwent a major tragedy that actually surprised me a bit at the beginning, and then seeing her being so no-nonsense throughout the rest of the movie made me appreciate her character more. She gathered the survivors together to take on the creature, and did a great job.

The other main is bad boy Ricky, played by rapper Russ. He used to date the pastor's daughter and wants to go on the trip to smuggle drugs illegally, but he still has a heart of gold about him. While he causes strife (especially with Emma's new boyfriend), he is a rootable character who first realizes what they're up against, and of course no one believes him. He undergoes a metamorphosis of his own as he goes from gutless coward to reluctant hero and is perfect fodder for Megan's approach.

The gore isn't all that exciting, but it's not really necessary. The spider strikes with the speed of a cheetah, which makes it so scary when it hops from the treetops and emerges from the shadows before enveloping the forest in its web. When it comes to a great creature feature it all relies on the creature, and while this isn't one that'll re-shape the genre, it provides everything you need for a great B-rated good time.

The Score: B+