War Machine

War Machine
Starring Alan Ritchson, Dennis Quaid, Stephan James, Jai Courtney
Directed by Patrick Hughes

After "Avengers Endgame" hit theaters, news came out that there were plans to make a movie based off Don Cheadle's character, James Rhodes, also known as War Machine. Yet as the years went on, the news died off and it seemed the movie wasn't going to be made after all. Then I find out they made "War Machine," but it wasn't sent to theaters, or even Disney+ that owns Marvel, but Netflix instead. Odd choice, I thought, but then I heard Alan Ritchson took over the role, which is even odder because...well...Don Cheadle is African American. Bold choice, I suppose, but who am I to judge? Then I started watching the movie and immediately realized this was no War Machine, but a lame, albeit action-packed, Netflix original that was probably written by AI after given prompts to write a war movie mixing "Terminator," "Predator," "War of the Worlds" and "Lone Survivor."

Two years after his brother died during a Taliban attack, an unnamed Staff Sergeant arrives at the Ranger Assessment and Selection Program in hopes of being an Army Ranger, something his brother wanted to do before his death. Given the number 81 (Alan Ritchson), he immediately rises the ranks and draws the admiration of Sergeant Major Sheridan (Dennis Quaid) and First Sergeant Torres (Esai Morales). 81 and the remaining recruits are given one final test - a simulated mission in the forest to destroy a classified aircraft and rescue its pilot. It's also during this time that scientists discover an asteroid in orbit that's broken apart and pieces of it have fallen to Earth. When the recruits find the supposed down plane, it turns out to be an alien ship that was a part of the supposed asteroid, and it wakes up and starts killing the soldiers, leaving 81 to find a way to get the remaining soldiers back home and warn the world of the impending attack.


The Good:
Alan Ritchson is a man tailor made for a role like this. He is struggling with PTSD over his brother's death, but in a movie like this it doesn't demand Oscar-worthy performances, just a little here and there that lets the audience remember that the event happened in his life before we get back to the action. Ritchson is the modern day action hero, born out of the likes of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, and he perfectly physically embodies the role. He's the anchor of the movie and the anchor is solid.

The performances all around are decent enough and give just enough info about the characters we're supposed to care for, even though we know they'll mostly be vaporized before the end. Nothing worth of note to say about them really, but they're enough to feel some sort of sadness over their death, instead of going..."oh no, he died." 

The action is fast-paced and exciting, and surprisingly well-done for a Netflix movie. The CGI ship is impressive, and the numerous action set pieces are intense and exciting, something you can enjoy on a weekend viewing when you want to turn your mind off from the weary world around us. When the remaining soldiers find an ASV and the alien chases them, the action really amps up with exciting camera angles and explosions galore, something Michael Bay would approve of.

The violence is gory and violent, even if it gets a bit cartoonish, it's still fun. Seeing a guy with a hole in his chest is equally appalling and hilarious, and we see body limbs go flying left and right, decapitations, and all sorts of bodily injuries which is gleeful for the gore fanatic.


The Bad:
It takes almost an hour or so before the alien arrives, and before then we're treated with over thirty minutes of training that is basically showing off Ritchson's physicality and give other characters the chance to show themselves. Training montages are typical in movies like this, but when it goes on...and on...and on...and on...it becomes redundant and you just want the alien to arrive already.

The characters around Ritchson are trope-ridden, with the generic second-in-command, the hothead, the loyal soldier, the scaredy cat, and so on. 

The film's Chekov's Gun is so painfully obvious it's laughably bad, especially with how Ritchson uses it in the end, reminiscent of "War of the Worlds." In fact, this whole movie is generic tropes of other action/horror hybrids. It steals from "The Terminator" and "Predator" with the alien stalking the soldiers in the woods, it parodies "Lone Survivor" with a group of elite soldiers who are stranded alone to take on the threat, and "Full Metal Jacket" with its training montage. 

I thought I had written this review already, but I realized I didn't, and I have no idea why I thought I wrote it already - that's the lasting effect it had on my mind after it ended.


The Verdict:
While a decent watch for any action enthusiast, "War Machine" offers nothing new or exciting to the genre, giving some decent action set pieces but lacking anything of lasting thoughtful impact.


The Score: C-