JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Undertone Starring Nina Kiri, Michele Duquet, Adam DiMarco, Keana Lyn Bastidas Directed by Ian Tuason 2010s and 2020s horror has elevated itself to include deep personal themes like psychological disorders, religious zeal, and personifying mental illnesses. "Hereditary," "Midsommar," "It Follows," "The Babadook" and several more epitomizes this new subgenre of horror, and "undertone" is one of the newest ones. Focusing on religion and the fears of motherhood, the movie gives a slow burn terrorizing tale of one woman who encounters the supernatural during her darkest time. Normally, movies are meant to be seen on the big screen, but "undertone" is different...it practically requires you to watch it on a laptop screen with your noise-cancellation headphones plugged in, because this is almost an entirely auditory horror experience that, while not wholly efficient, is enough to deliver some severe goosebumps and jumps. Evy (Nina K...

Project Hail Mary Starring Ryan Gosling, Sandra Huller, James Ortiz, Lionel Boyce Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller The word "masterpiece" gets tossed around a lot lately, especially in regards to film. However, when it comes to "Project Hail Mary," I can say that this is, indeed, a masterpiece. From the performances to the themes; the cinematography and visuals; the story and the action all connect with perfection, leaving very little to critique apart from small nitpicking that could've just made it better. Waking up in a spaceship with amnesia, Dr. Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) begins piecing together in his mind the events that led him to his situation. A former scientist turned schoolteacher, he is approached by Eva Stratt (Sandra Huller) with important news: the planet is dying because the sun is slowly being eaten away by a string of Astrophage that is slowly siphoning the sun's energy, and in 30 years will leave the Earth a frozen wastelan...

War Machine Starring Alan Ritchson, Dennis Quaid, Stephan James, Jai Courtney Directed by Patrick Hughes After "Avengers Endgame" hit theaters, news came out that there were plans to make a movie based off Don Cheadle's character, James Rhodes, also known as War Machine. Yet as the years went on, the news died off and it seemed the movie wasn't going to be made after all. Then I find out they made "War Machine," but it wasn't sent to theaters, or even Disney+ that owns Marvel, but Netflix instead. Odd choice, I thought, but then I heard Alan Ritchson took over the role, which is even odder because...well...Don Cheadle is African American. Bold choice, I suppose, but who am I to judge? Then I started watching the movie and immediately realized this was no War Machine, but a lame, albeit action-packed, Netflix original that was probably written by AI after given prompts to write a war movie mixing "Terminator," "Predator," "War of ...

Slanted Starring Shirley Chen, Mckenna Grace, Fang Du, Amelie Zilber Directed by Amy Wang The term "satire" uses humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize human vices, follies, abuses or shortcomings, with its goal to provoke thought, hold authority accountable, or inspire change. Typically, satire is so subtle that you don't notice it really happening and it burrows into your skin and stays there. However, when it's literally hit on your head repeatedly for 102 minutes, it looses its strength and leaves you both with a headache and a desire to never deal with it again. Thus is "Slanted," a somewhat body horror somewhat comedy movie that takes the worst of "Mean Girls," "The Substance" and "Carrie" and throws them into a blender, crafting something so dull and lifeless if it was Frankenstein's creature it'd stay on the gurney because not even the greatest strike of lightning could bring it to life. A...

The Bride! Starring Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Penelope Cruz Directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal Mary Shelley's classic novel "Frankenstein" was written back in 1818 when she was just 18, during a time where women's voices weren't allowed to be heard. The novel was released anonymously until her name was attached in 1831, and she is hailed as a pioneer in the women's movement, a concept that Maggie Gyllenhaal uses to useful effect in her near-modern day re-imagining of "The Bride of Frankenstein," and even though Shelley never wrote a second novel about the Creature or his mate, her presence is felt deeply throughout this project, an anthem for women and the female equivalent of "Joker." In 1936 Chicago, Ida (Jessie Buckley) is a free-spirited woman who becomes possessed by the spirit of Mary Shelley, who wants to tell the story of the Bride of Frankenstein. Ida is soon murdered by two goons working for the crime lord Lupino...

Hoppers Starring Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy Directed by Daniel Chong Honestly I wasn't too excited when I saw the trailers for "Hoppers," mostly due to the fact that it reminded me too much of 2024's excellent "The Wild Robot," about a robot who finds herself out of her element and tasked with helping wildlife survive a possible extinction. That movie ended up in my top ten of the year and included beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about motherhood. While I did see similarities between the two, I was equally moved during "Hoppers" with its beautiful animation and a touching, heartwarming story about our necessity for society and seeing the good in everyone. Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda) is a 19-year-old college student still grieving the loss of her grandmother, who showed her the beauty of nature and love of animals at a young age. She learns that Mayor Jerry Generazzo (Jon Hamm) is planning on building a...

Greenland 2: Migration Starring Gerard Butler, Morena Baccarin, Roman Griffin Davis, Amber Rose Revah Directed by Ric Roman Waugh The natural disaster subgenre has had some major hits in history - "The Day After Tomorrow," "Deep Impact," "Armageddon" and "Dante's Peak" being some of them - while others ("2012," "Moonfall") aren't as good. Yet there's something they all have in common: they don't do sequels. Usually, the destruction of the world is the definitive end, leaving no room for another go-around on the big screen. 2020's "Greenland" felt like one such disaster movie - it met its criteria, the survivors made it to their safe zone, and the comet hit...bing, bang, boom. A sequel wasn't needed, nor was it on anyone's minds, let alone six years later. Yet, "Greenland 2: Migration" is here, and while it's refreshing to see what happens to survivors after the world ends, it...

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater Directed by Mary Bronstein I'll never know how it feels to be a mother, and hopefully never know how it feels to be a father either. Some people are born caregivers and parents, while others aren't, and I certainly fall into the "aren't" category. I can't imagine all the weight being a parent has on a person, let alone a mother who has really no one else to turn to. The weight seems unbearable, and when your child is dealing with a strange illness, it's even more unimaginable. That's what life is like for Linda in "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You," a rare tour-de-force performance by the generally comedic Rose Byrne in a once-in-a-career role. Linda (Rose Byrne) is juggling a lot right now. Her husband Charles (Christian Slater), a sea captain, is away for a several-month tour. Her daughter (Delaney Quinn) is consistently talking and bei...

The Secret Agent Starring Wagner Moura, Carlos Francisco, Tania Maria, Roberio Diogenes Directed by Kieber Mendonca Filho Some movies out there lead you by the hand in the direction they want you to go, while others craft an eloquent, subdued, sweeping story on its own terms and leaves it up to you to traverse the journey yourself. "The Secret Agent" is one such film, a sweeping, poignant, deeply character-driven epic set during the military dictatorship of Brazil in 1977, and one man's journey to bring his mother's legacy to life, reunite with his son, and also has a mysterious past that threatens to end his life. Armando Solimoes (Wagner Moura) arrives in Recife, the capital city of Pernambuco, Brazil and meets up with his contact, the elderly Dona Sebastiana (Tania Maria) where he stays in her complex with other political dissidents hiding from their pasts. She calls him "Marcelo" to hide his identity, and gets him a job at the city's identification c...

 Worst2First:  My Most Anticipated Films of Spring 2026 Leading up to what cinemas consider summer (which runs from May to August as opposed to June to August), theaters are going to be popping during the two spring months of March and April! From sequels to horror films and some exciting original content, there's something for everyone to see on the big screen in March and April. So here are the ten films I'm most excited to see in March and April of 2026... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10 Lee Cronin's The Mummy April 17 Back in 2017, Universal tried to re-vitalize its classic monsters with Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" and the result was nothing short of disastrous. It killed the entire universe with one movie, and the idea of a mummy was put back in its cinematic sarcophagus. Now, "Evil Dead Rise" director Lee Cronin has opened that sarcophagus with his own modern day rendition of "The Mummy," and while i...

Scream 7 Starring Neve Campbell, Isabel May, Joel McHale, Sam Rechner Directed by Kevin Williamson There's been movies marred in production hell, consisting of behind-the-scenes stories that would make some actual movies blush. "Scream 7" is one such troubled production. Radio Silence was slated to return to direct after they brought the franchise back from the dead in "Scream" ("Scream 5") and "Scream VI," and both Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega were set to reprise their roles, becoming the new faces of the franchise. In November 2023 Barrera was fired when she spoke out against the genocide in Gaza, and the next day Ortega left the production (depending on who you talk to, it's either because of loyalty to Barrera, scheduling conflicts, or the fact that Radio Silence wasn't actually returning due to scheduling conflicts in filming "Abigail"). Bent on striking while the iron was hot, the producers panicked and brought bac...

I Can Only Imagine 2 Starring John Michael Finley, Milo Ventimiglia, Sammy Dell, Trace Adkins Directed by Andrew Erwin & Brent McCorkle Music has the power to transform us and reach our innermost being, touching areas that remained locked through other means. Music is used in all types of situations - musicians rouse up millions of fans at concerts to jump, shout and dance; meditative music soothes our overthinking minds; even cults use chants to lull their followers into believing what they're told to; churches also use music to usher in the presence of God to the congregation (or, for those who are unbelievers, use music to manipulate a sense of other-worldliness). Music brings back memories and unites us through different countries, ages, and ethnicities. It's a beautiful thing, and Christian music is the music that touches the soul more than others. MercyMe is one of Christian music's most well-known bands, and its lead singer Bart Millard wrote "I Can Only Ima...

Cold Storage Starring Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Lesley Manville, Liam Neeson Directed by Jonny Campbell B-rated horror is a fantastic subgenre for anyone who wants to see a horror movie but not be scared by it. These films generally center around a creature or unstoppable force that everyday people come into contact with, giving a sense of urgency and hopelessness that blends well into the comedy. Roger Corman was a director best known for films like this, and "Cold Storage" is a modern day b-rated horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously, letting our guards down to enjoy the ride and serve as a decent introduction to horror for anyone too afraid to dip their toes into the more horrific. After the NASA space station Skylab crashed to Earth in 1979, scientists searched diligently for the remains, but something was left behind: a fungus that spreads quickly and, once it infects people, causes them to explode after spreading. Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini R...