JoeMama's Movie Reviews

  Napoleon Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Vanessa Kirby, Tahar Rahim, Ben Miles Directed by Ridley Scott Ridley Scott is known for directing grand, sweeping epics that reside in the human memory decades later, movies that are included on numerous critics' lists for the best films ever made. With "Napoleon," he achieved his goal of producing another grand, sweeping epic, but ultimately it won't be one that'll be fondly remembered fifty years from now. It's a decent film about the rise and fall of one of history's most notorious characters, and while the action sequences are awe-inspiring and visually stunning, the overarching story surrounding them fall flat, leading to a historical biopic that's devoid of the biography. Napoleon Bonaparte (Joaquin Phoenix) was a powerful general in the French army who emerged victorious in the epic Siege of Toulon that served as the starting point for his eventual rise to power as the Emperor of France. Along the way he mee...

Worst2First: My Most Anticipated Films of Winter 2023-2024 2023 will soon come to a close and usher in 2024, and along with it comes a slew of eagerly-awaited films from the critically acclaimed to the reimaginging classics to some exciting action films. Spanning from December 2023 to February 2024, here are my personal top ten films I'm most anticipated to see this winter. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10 Bob Marley: One Love February 14 Musical biopics are a dime a dozen, and honestly it'll take a lot to make me think this will be anything more than a generic Wikipedia-esque journey through the life of one of music's most influential artists. Kingsley Ben-Adir (from "Barbie" and "Secret Invasion") stars as the titular Bob Marley, the reggae singer and songwriter who was also an accomplished activist who preached his gospel of love to the world even as he came under attack time and again. Ben-Adir looks more than ca...

Thanksgiving Starring Patrick Dempsey, Nell Verlaque, Milo Manheim, Jalen Thomas Brooks Directed by Eli Roth Holiday related horror movies are a dime a dozen nowadays, especially movies taking place during the most horrific time of the year - Christmas...and also Halloween. Yet there's other holiday-related horror films like "April Fool's Day," "Mother's Day," and "My Bloody Valentine." Thanksgiving seems to be a holiday, however, where there's not a lot of horror to dish up along with the plump Thanksgiving goose. "ThanksKilling," "Pilgrim," and of course "Poultrygeist" add some cheeky horror to the holidays but there's a new addition to the dinner table - "Thanksgiving," a fun, light, gory good time that'll have you possibly regurgitating that delicious Thanksgiving dinner. In the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, Thanksgiving is as important a holiday as Christmas, and everyone celebrates wi...

The Marvels Starring Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Samuel L. Jackson Directed by Nia DaCosta Lately the MCU has been missing more than hitting, and their quality has greatly diminished after the spectacular one-two punch of "Avengers: Infinity War" and "Avengers: Endgame." While some have risen to the likes of greatness ("Spider-Man: No Way Home," "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3," "Shang-Chi"), others have meddled in mediocrity ("Black Panther: Wakanda Forever", "Black Widow"), and others have just been horrible ("Thor: Love & Thunder," "Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania," "Eternals"). Honestly there wasn't much hope with "The Marvels" especially after the behind-the-scenes drama (such as the director leaving the project to work on something else during editing) and the fact that the actors couldn't promote their material due to the actors' strike, ...

Quiz Lady Starring Awkwafina, Sandra Oh, Will Ferrell, Jason Schwartzman Directed by Jessica Yu Anyone who's read my reviews for awhile know how I feel about comedies, and how most of the time I don't really find them funny. They tend to follow the same basic formula with a different window dressing each time, where we're introduced to our reluctant hero before encountering a situation that they need to get themselves out of. Instead of doing the easy thing they go to outlandish methods to fix their problem and oftentimes bring along an estranged family member or friend along for the ride. Right when everything will be solved an unexpected misunderstanding occurs which creates a rift between the main character and their family member/friend leading to some moments of sadness and the "all is lost" moment before everyone comes back together for the greater good and everyone comes out victorious and better for the experience. While "Quiz Lady" follows this ...

When Evil Lurks Starring Ezequiel Rodriguez, Demian Salomon, Luis Ziembrowski, Silvia Sabater Directed by Demian Rugna Sometimes there's movies that gain popularity by word of mouth that you wouldn't otherwise know of, and more often than not those are horror movies. "When Evil Lurks" is one such film - an Argentinian thriller on Shudder that numerous people were claiming was the most disturbing movie they've ever seen. To paraphrase a famous saying: "I've seen some stuff," so I went into it not expecting the hype to be real. While indeed it wasn't the most disturbing movie I've ever seen, it's something very unique (a mixture of "The Exorcist" with "Contagion") and also something that hasn't left my mind since. Not because it's jump-out-of-your-bones scary, but because the visuals were so haunting and visceral and the ending was so intense they're embedded in my mind. And that's a very good thing, as i...

Five Nights at Freddy's Starring Josh Hutcherson, Piper Rubio, Elizabeth Lail, Matthew Lillard Directed by Emma Tammi I remember when I was a child going to Chuck E. Cheese's for my birthday parties and seeing the big animatronic creatures on stage singing Happy Birthday with totally wrong lip-syncing and fake instrument playing. It was the time of my life, and obviously that nostalgia is what makes "Five Nights at Freddy's" so endearing to an older crowd. Starting out as a series of app games, the concept was simple - watch monitors and make sure you're always watching the animatronics, because if not they'll come alive and kill you with less-than-effective jump scares. I barely got through about ten minutes of playing before giving up out of sheer boredom, but obviously the game garnered a huge following, especially with the younger crowd: kids toys and even children's novels about the franchise sell like hotcakes, and it's a unique brand that ca...