JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Films to Watch On Drugs Not to say I'm an advocate for drug use, I've never used them myself nor would I encourage one to do so, but there are certain films out there that seem to be designed for the drug-addicted individual - either due to their colors, content, or characters. Here are my personal top ten films to watch on drugs, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Charlie Kaufman is an interesting writer to say the least.  He's written some of the most mind-bending scripts including "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" and "Being John Malkovich," along with "Eternal Sunshine."  Jim Carrey stars as a man who undergoes a surgery to help forget his old girlfriend after she does the same to him, and begins experiencing memories with her that may or may not have happened, sending the duo to strange places and engaging in events that could never ha...

Tomb Raider Starring Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu Directed by Roar Uthaug The Story: Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) is a scrappy delivery woman who frequents the boxing ring as well as getting involved in high-speed bike races, running away from her family heritage and her father Richard Croft (Dominic West), who disappeared seven years earlier. After an accident involving a police car, Lara finally beings to accept her role as the beneficiary of the Croft organization, and after uncovering a clue from her father, learns that he was much more than a businessman - he was an archaeologist, who was investigating the mysterious tomb of Himiko - a Japanese queen who supposedly held the power of life and death.  Lara tracks down the island where the tomb is, and finds Mathias Vogel (Walton Goggins), a fellow archaeologist who desires the corpse of Himiko for the mysterious organization known as Trinity.  Lara hopes to find if her father is sti...

The Strangers: Prey at Night Starring Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, Bailee Madison, Lewis Pullman Directed by Johannes Roberts The Story: Troubled teen Kinsey (Bailee Madison) is about to be sent to boarding school for her reckless behavior, but before that happens the family decides to spend one last vacation together at their aunt and uncle's trailer park.  Mother Cindy (Christina Hendricks) feuds the most with Kinsey, but also has the most in common with her, while her husband Mike (Martin Henderson) is pretty much oblivious to everything, and their son Luke (Lewis Pullman) is the golden child, who also wishes for his sister to return to her senses. When they arrive at the park, they find it completely deserted, but it's common because people often leave during the off-season.  However, things turn sinister quickly when they discover they're not truly alone - they're being stalked by three people -  Dollface (Emma Bellomy), Pin-Up Girl (Lea Ens...

 A Wrinkle in Time Starring Storm Reid, Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling Directed by Ava DuVernay The Story: Thirteen-year-old Meg Murry (Storm Reid) is still reeling from the disappearance of her astrophysicist father Dr. Alex Murry (Chris Pine) four years ago, and has become a secluded, ridiculed girl who doesn't trust anyone and doesn't see the joy in anything, despite having an always optimistic younger brother Charles Wallace (Deric McCabe). On the four-year anniversary of her father's disappearance, Meg is visited by the mysterious Mrs. Whatsit (Reese Witherspoon), the wise Mrs. Who (Mindy Kaling), and the regal Mrs. Which (Oprah Winfrey), who inform her that her father is alive and trapped in the universe at the hands of an evil entity known as IT.  Meg, her brother Charles Wallace, and Meg's friend Calvin (Levi Miller) are taken across the universe by the women in hopes of finding her father, while also learning important life lessons...

The Hurricane Heist Starring Toby Kebbell, Maggie Grace, Ryan Kwanten, Ralph Ineson Directed by Rob Cohen The Story: After witnessing the death of their father at the hands of Hurricane Andrew, Will (Toby Kebbell) is now a meteorologist who watches hurricanes and warns people of their impending danger, while his brother Breeze (Ryan Kwanten) remained in their small hometown where he works at his father's repair shop.  As an impending hurricane barrels down on their town, Will sounds the alarm that it will be much more dangerous than they think, but no one believes him. Meanwhile, Casey (Maggie Grace) - a Treasury agent - has just dropped off money at the Treasury where it's about to be shredded, but the machine has been malfunctioning.  Just as the hurricane hits, a gang of robbers infiltrate the Treasury in hopes of stealing $600 million dollars, but they need Casey to open the safe - but she managed to escape and enlists Will's help to stop the thieves befor...

Lord of the Flies Starring Balthazar Getty, Chris Furrh, Danuel Pipoly, Badgett Dale Directed by Harry Hook The Story: A group of military school cadets crash on a deserted island, with little hope of rescue.  The kids turn to the oldest member of the group, Ralph (Balthazar Getty), to take command.  At first things are tranquil and peaceful, with every boy doing his work and maintaining a fire for someone to see.  However, the kids become lazy and under the leadership of the rebellious Jack (Chris Furrh), they turn on Ralph and defect, becoming hunters who savagely scour the land for meat. When a boy is frightened by a supposed creature in a cave, the other boys are sent into a tizzy and begin turning on one another, setting their sights on their former leader Ralph and his lone companion Piggy (Danuel Pipoly), proving that the most dangerous creature is in fact man. The Synopsis: In 1954, Sir William Golding wrote the novel "Lord of the Flies," which wo...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Films That Blend Animation and Live Action Many films are strictly live action, and many films are strictly animation.  Yet there's a few films out there that brilliantly blur the lines between reality and fantasy, and gift us with the best of both worlds. Here are my personal top ten films that blend animation and live action, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Looney Tunes: Back in Action In this sequel to another Looney Tunes movie, everyone's lovable animated characters are back in the real world to prevent the evil Acme president (played by Steve Martin) from finding the blue monkey diamond, which would turn mankind into monkeys.  Brendan Frasier and Jenna Elfman help the animated characters in their quest, which is filled with tongue-in-cheek humor, sight gags and (mostly) family-friendly comedy.  It also co-stars Heather Locklear, Joan Cusack, Timothy Dalton and Ron Perlman. #9 O...