JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Great Wall Starring Matt Damon, Jing Tian, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe Directed by Yimou Zhang The Story: During the Song Dynasty, a group of mercenaries are in search of black powder when they come across a gang of bandits, and only a few survive.  They stay the night at a cave where a creature attacks them, and only William (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are left alive after William kills the creature.  They search for answers and end up at the Great Wall, where they are taken prisoner by General Shao and Commander Lin (Jing Tian). They tell William and Tovar that they're protecting the Chinese capital from an army of alien beings who communicate telepathically and the Wall is the last line of defense.  If they get through they'll destroy the capital and nothing will stop them from taking over the world.  William - who is out to seek his own form of redemption - agrees to help, while Tovar only wants the black powder the army is keeping at t...

Moonlight Starring Trevante Rhodes, Andre Holland, Naomie Harris, Mahershala Ali Directed by Barry Jenkins  The Story: "Moonlight" is a story centering around one man - Chiron - and is told in three chapters. The first chapter is called Little, which is a nickname the bullies give Chiron.  As a young boy, Chiron (Alex Hibbert), is constantly bullied and picked on due to him being poor and his mother Paula (Naomie Harris) a drug addict.  He hides out in an abandoned building where he is found by Juan (Mahershala Ali), a drug dealer who takes Chiron home to his girlfriend Teresa (Janelle Monae), and Chiron finds a stable environment to feel safe in, at least for a little while. The second chapter is called Chiron, and Chiron (Ashton Sanders) is now a teenager, exploring his sexual identity and is still bullied by the children of his youth.  He turns to his only friend Kevin (Jharrel Jerome) since his mother is still a drug addict, and the two have a conv...

The Walking Dead Say Yes Season 7 Episode 12 Review **SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW, EPISODE AND COMICS FOLLOW,  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK** Last week's episode wasn't great, but this week we're treated with a few exciting stories centering around Rick and Michonne, Rosita, and Tara that continue the momentum forward for the eventual war with Negan.  The bulk of the episode centers around Rick and Michonne searching for guns in order to bring Jadis and her Dumpsters to the battle, while Rosita goes rogue and searches for guns herself, and Tara struggles with telling Rick about the Oceanside community. Rick and Michonne have been out on the road for a few days and haven't found a lot, and are planning on returning home when they find an abandoned school with a chain-link perimeter, with an army Walker roaming around.  They enter the school and find a carnival with loads of Walkers - some of whom are carrying guns since they used to be military - and hit pay dirt....

The Walking Dead Hostiles and Calamities Season 7 Episode 11 Review **SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW, EPISODE AND COMICS FOLLOW,  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK** Generally "The Walking Dead" airs an episode during Oscars that isn't their best, at least in my opinion.  One year it was when Beth and Daryl were on the run, and the biggest event that happened was that Beth tried moonshine for the first time.  Another year was when Beth was at Grady Memorial, in which again nothing really huge happened.  This year the episode focused solely on Eugene and Dwight, two secondary characters that I really don't care much about, so thankfully once again they aired what I feel is their weakest episode during the one time out of the year I don't watch it. So when I finally got around to watching it, I found it a rather mediocre episode that totally deviated from the comics, and once again established Eugene as a coward - or the smartest undercover spy in the history of the sho...

Logan Starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Boyd Holbrook, Dafne Keen Directed by James Mangold The Story: In the year 2029, mutants are all but extinct, and a very aged Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) now lives in hiding as a limo driver who's working to earn money to buy a boat so he and an equally aged Professor X (Patrick Stewart) can live on the ocean.  But for now he has the Professor holed up in an abandoned factory in Mexico in a room that prevents him from using his telekinetic abilities, as he's suffered brain damage and now is prone to deadly seizures. Logan is visited by a woman wanting his help, but he wants none of it.  Then Donald Pierce (Boyd Holbrook) arrives, threatening Logan that the woman has someone he wants, and Logan agrees to take the woman and the young girl Laura (Dafne Keen) to a place called Eden, a place where mutants could exist in peace - if it exists.  Logan, the Professor and Laura set out on a cross-country road trip to ge...

Howl's Moving Castle Starring Jean Simmons, Christian Bale, Lauren Bacall, Emily Mortimer Directed by Hayao Miyazaki The Story: Sophie (Emily Mortimer) is a young hatter, who isn't very beautiful or memorable, but runs into trouble on the street.  She is rescued by a young, handsome wizard named Howl (Christian Bale), and is soon turned into an old woman by the Witch of the Waste (Lauren Bacall) in a jealous rage.  Now older, Sophie (Jean Simmons) sets out to find Howl and discovers his fantastical moving castle run by the fire demon Calcifer (Billy Crystal) that sits atop a dark mountain but can transport its inhabitants anywhere. As she takes residence at the castle as its cleaning lady, her town is besieged by war and Howl - who is much more immature than Sophie first thought - is recruited to fight for both sides since he has multiple aliases.  He sends Sophie to act as his mother and tell the king that he's too cowardly to fight, and along the way runs ...

Get Out Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener Directed by Jordan Peele The Story: Interracial couple Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose (Allison Williams) are about to visit her parents for the first time, and Chris is understandably worried, since they don't know he's African American.  Still, he loves Rose and he'll have to meet them eventually, so they arrive and meet Dean (Bradley Whitford) and Missy (Catherine Keener), who both come off way too accepting.  Dean talks about how he would've voted for Obama for a third term, and Missy tells Chris that she can use hypnosis to cure his smoking habit.  Soon Chris discovers the danger he's in...or is it just inside his head? The Synopsis: Jordan Peele is best known for half of the comedic duo Key and Peele, but there's more to this man than just comedy.  He took a chance and wrote and directed a wholly original idea (even if it takes parts from other famous works...