JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Inside Out Starring Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Bill Hader Directed by Pete Docter & Ronnie del Carmen The Story: Riley Anderson (Kaitlyn Dias) is born, and along with her birth comes the arrival of Joy (Amy Poehler), a tangible representation of the emotion of joy in her head.  Joy is soon joined by fellow emotions Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Anger (Lewis Black), Fear (Bill Hader) and Disgust (Mindy Kahling).  As Riley grows up, the emotions work together to give her the most happy upbringing possible, and Riley thrives: she has friends, a loving family, and is an amazing hockey player.  Then, one day, everything is turned upside down when Riley and her family move from Minnesota to San Francisco, everything seems depressing and lonely, and Sadness begins messing with the core memories, turning them sad before Joy stops her.  Then the two are sucked into the tube leading to the long-term memories, away from Headquarters and leaving contro...

Anomalisa Starring David Thewlis, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tom Noonan Directed by Duke Johnson & Charlie Kaufman The Story: Michael Stone (David Thewlis) is a customer service expert, author of a world-renowned book, and travels the country speaking at conventions.  He arrives in Cincinnati, where he tries to re-connect with an old flame (despite being married with a kid), which fails miserably as she can't stand to even be in the same room as him after he ruthlessly dumped her years earlier. Alone and depressed, he realizes that everyone has the same voice (Tom Noonan), and each person is rather plain and not unique, until he hears the voice of a woman.  He finds the woman, named Lisa (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who traveled to Cincinnati to hear him speak.  The two hit it off and he believes he's finally found that unique person, but it could all just be an illusion. The Synopsis: Charlie Kaufman is a brilliant director and writer (he's written such mind-b...

The Darkness Starring Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz, Lucy Fry Directed by Greg Mclean The Story: Peter Taylor (Kevin Bacon), his wife Bronny (Radha Mitchell), daughter Stephanie (Lucy Fry) and autistic son Michael (David Mazouz) travel with another family to the Grand Canyon, where Michael accidentally stumbles upon an old Anasazi temple where he finds five stones.  He takes them home with him, and immediately paranormal events begin to occur, and the family begins to crumble apart.  The stones represent five demons of the Anasazi - The Crow, The Buffalo, The Wolf, The Coyote and The Snake - and once their representations manifest, the Darkness will arise and consume the family. The Synopsis: Before I completely rip apart this incredibly stupid excuse for a horror movie, I'll discuss what was right wtih the film. ... Alright, onto the negative.  First we got the family, which is the worst excuse for a family in the history of families. ...

Left Behind Starring Nicolas Cage, Chad Michael Murray, Cassi Thomson, Jordin Sparks Directed by Vic Armstrong The Story: Rayford Steele (Nicolas Cage) is a pilot who's married to now-devout Christian Irene (Lea Thompson), and is having affairs with numerous women.  He gets away from his wife to pilot a plane to London with hot stewardess Hattie (Nicky Whelan) in hopes of wooing her with U2 tickets, when his daughter Chloe (Cassi Thomson) arrives for a visit.  Undeterred in his plan, Rayford leaves his daughter at the airport, to the chagrin of herself and world famous investigative reporter Buck Williams (Chad Michael Murray), who just met her. As the plane is in the air, and Chloe is spending some quality time with her younger brother, an event happens where millions of people - mostly children - disappear, leaving behind only their clothes.  Chloe is shocked to see her brother and mother gone, and the world turned into chaos.  Meanwhile, 30,000 feet ...

The Conjuring 2 Starring Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Madison Wolfe, Frances O'Connor Directed by James Wan The Story: After a particularly harrowing investigation at the Amityville house, psychic Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga) wants to end her investigations with her demonologist husband Ed (Patrick Wilson), due to a particularly terrifying premonition she received while at the house. Meanwhile, in Enfield, England, the Hodgson family are your typical 1970s family, except the father is out of the picture.  Single mother Peggy (Frances O'Connor) is taking care of four children, including Janet (Madison Wolfe), the best she can.  One night, Janet gets terrorized by an unseen force, which strengthens in power and threatens the entire family.  At the end of their rope, they turn to the Warrens to help, but Lorraine is wary due to her premonition.  Will this be their final case? The Synopsis: The first "Conjuring" was a surprise critical and audience su...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Real Life Horror Movies Edgar Allan Poe once said, "Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear."    We strive to be frightened, we love a good scare.  Otherwise we wouldn't ride roller coasters, we wouldn't bungee jump or skydive, and we wouldn't watch horror movies.  We think that most horror movies could never happen, and even though there's a 0% chance an undead monster like Jason Voorhees will come knocking on your door tonight, there's some horror films that are surprisingly based on real-life accounts. In honor of the upcoming movie "The Conjuring 2," here are my personal top ten real life horror movies, Worst2First.  I've split each into two sections, taking after the old adage: "art imitates life."  The "art" is the film's story, and the "life" is the real life account it was taken from. **There will be no spoilers.**  #10 The Hills Ha...

Southbound Directed by Radio Silence, Roxanne Benjamin, David Bruckner, Patrick Horvath  "Southbound" is an omnibus film - meaning it's a collection of different stories that seem unconnected, but are all actually different volumes of the same story.  The film centers around five tales of characters stuck in a purgatory-state, chased after by odd flying demonic creatures, and centers around the themes of revenge, retribution, and doing the right thing.  Overall, the film is extremely unnerving, the creatures are actually frightening, and there's certain scenes that are almost too extreme to watch.  That's not to say the segments themselves are great - as usual with omnibus films, there's some that pop and some that drop.  I will be reviewing each segment on its own merits, grading them individually before giving a final grade for the film as a whole. The Way Out Two men, seemingly escaping a murder, are chased by aforementioned flying demons.  ...