JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Black Forest Starring Tinsel Korey, Dhaffer L'Abidine, Andy Clemence, Oliver James Directed by Patrick Dinhut Traveling through Germany after the death of his wife, Dr. Saxon (Dhaffer L'Abidine) is approached by the mysterious and eccentric Cazmar (Ben Cross), wanting to join him on an adventure in the Black Forest - the same place where the brothers Grimm wrote their fairy tales. Together with other tourists, Saxon agrees to the adventure, but what at first seemed like innocent fun soon turns dangerous as a baby is abducted, and the group discover themselves in a real life fairy tale.  With the help of the mysterious Karin (Tinsel Korey), the group works together to find the baby and get back to the real world, while battling some of history's most famous fairy tales. I saw this on Netflix so I figured I'd give it a shot.  The first title I saw read: "SyFy Presents"  And I almost gave up.  SyFy makes some amazing series, but when it comes t...

How I Live Now Starring Saoirse Ronan, George MacKay, Tom Holland, Harley Bird Directed by Kevin Macdonald Daisy (Saoirse Ronan) travels to England to visit her cousins in the midst of a possible third World War.  She doesn't care about anything or anyone, until she falls for her cousin Eddie (George MacKay), and the two begin a relationship.  She then begins to care about others, including her younger cousins Isaac (Tom Holland) and Piper (Harley Bird). All is beautiful and picturesque in the small village they live in, until a bomb goes off in London, and their home is taken over by the government.  The girls are separated from the boys, and Eddie tells Daisy to get back home.  Daisy and Piper are taken to a safe haven where they work in the fields, and Eddie and Isaac are sent to war. When their safe haven turns deadly, Daisy and Piper set off on a dangerous trek back to their country home, in hopes Eddie and Isaac are there waiting for them.  ...

Maniac Starring Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, Genevieve Alexandra, Brian Ames Directed by Franck Khalfoun Frank (Elijah Wood) owns a store where he restores mannequins, but he has a deadly obsession: finding a woman just like his recently deceased mother, who was also a prostitute.  As he stalks women at night, he kills them and brings their hair back home and puts them on his personal mannequins in his room. One day he sees photographer Anna (Nora Arnezeder) taking pictures of his mannequins, and the two strike up a friendship, and Frank feels she might be the one for him.  However, those dreams are dashed when she reveals she has a boyfriend, and Frank begins stalking her like he did the other girls.  "Maniac" is an extremely dark film and an interesting turn for Elijah Wood to take coming from his "Lord of the Rings" fame.  His portrayal as a psychotic loner is fascinating, and he delivers an impeccable performance, shot almost entirely from his p...

Scenic Route Starring Josh Duhamel, Dan Fogler, Peter Goetz, Christie Burson Directed by Kevin Goetz and Michael Goetz Lifelong friends Mitchell (Josh Duhamel) and Carter (Dan Fogler) decide to go on a road trip to re-kindle their friendship, after Mitchell gets married, has a child and finds a lucrative job, and Carter becomes a down-and-out writer living in his car.  Immediately problems arise, as their car breaks down in the middle of the desert, but it's not as it seems.  Carter harbors deep-seeded animosity to Mitchell for in essence abandoning their friendship for his family, and Mitchell feels Carter hasn't done anything with his life and is just jealous of his success. As the friends bicker and argue more and more in the heat of the day and cold of night, the verbal sparring turns physical, and both friends are horribly beaten in both fashions. An adventure that was supposed to save their friendship soon turns into a fight for survival, not just agains...

Europa Report Starring Daniel Wu, Sharlto Copley, Anamaria Marinca, Michael Nyquist Directed by Sebastian Cordero In the near future, a team of astronauts take part in an unprecedented adventure to one of the moons of Jupiter called Europa, in search of possible water and life.  Their journey is dangerous but when they finally arrive on the moon they discover a lot more than they bargained for, something that will change the fate of humanity forever. In the guise of other great outer space films like "2001," "Moon" and "Gravity," "Europa Report" falls short of those greats, but it's still a fantastic, whimsical, and downright frightening and tense film.  The acting caliber is superb, the effects (for such a small budget) were great, and the story was compelling and drew you in from the first scene to the last, as you anticipate what the fate of these astronauts will be, and what mysteries they'd uncover. My Rating: A-

Darkroom Starring Kaylee DeFer, Elisabeth Rohm, Christian Campbell, Tobias Segal Directed by Britt Napier Michelle (Kaylee DeFer) is admitted to a psychiatric hospital after a deadly accident, and works at becoming a normal person again with the help of Dr. Rachel (Elisabeth Rohm).  Rachel gets Michelle a job at an old castle-like home, but Michelle soon discovers she's been lured into a deadly trap, where Rachel and her deranged brothers hold her and other girls captive and torture them in hopes of "getting the sin out of them" like their mother did for them.  Now Michelle has to find her own way out of this house of horrors before it's too late. The only light in this otherwise dark - heh, like the title - film is the cat-and-mouse game played by Michelle and her captors.  Other than that, the film is extremely boring and predictable, something you would find any night on Lifetime.  The characters are totally one-dimensional, and the heroine isn'...

Sweatshop Starring Ashley Kay, Melanie Donihoo, Peyton Wetzel, Danielle Jones Directed by Stacy Davidson A group of ravers break into a supposedly abandoned factory building to prepare for a big rave, but all the while they're being stalked by a deranged killer with a huge hammer and demonic henchwomen. "Sweatshop" isn't a great film by any means.  There's no great plot, no loveable characters you root for, and at points it seems like they spent most of their budget on cigarettes (seriously, each character smokes at least two of them throughout the film).  However, what the film does have going for it is the over-the-top 80s style gore and guts, something that every horror aficionado can appreciate. If you're looking for some intense backstory to the killer's motives, you won't find it here.  If you want to know how he has these demonic women doing his bidding, look another place.  There's no story to his origin or why he kills, h...