JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Demented Starring Kayla Ewell, Richard Kohnke, Ashlee Brian, Brittany Agler Directed by Christopher Roosevelt Six college friends decide to spend the weekend together at a huge mansion owned by one of their friends' fathers.  They're enjoying their time together when all of a sudden word of a terrorist attack reaches them, and they see a missile heading for New Orleans.  Soon the place is ravaged by zombies who were turned by the missile, and they have to work together to get out alive. Yes, the concept has been done.  Yes, the characters were as horrible as you can imagine.  Yes, there was nothing new to the film.  Still, though, it's a zombie movie, and I enjoyed it.  Not enough to call it a blockbuster by any means, but I've seen a lot worse zombie films done, and I appreciated the high technical values given to this film.  Not in the lame zombie makeup, but in the fact that the camera didn't look like someone purchased it at Best...

The Big Year Starring Owen Wilson, Jack Black, Steve Martin, Rosamund Pike Directed by David Frankel It's the event every bird watcher loves - The Big Year.  Spending a year traveling the country, documenting as many different kinds of birds possible.  The person who sees the most wins the Big Year, and everyone is out for the title. Brad Harris (Jack Black) is out to break the record done by Bostick (Owen Wilson), and, despite lack of funds, sets out to accomplish his goal.  Meanwhile, CEO Stu (Steve Martin) wants an adventure before he retires.  Bostick knows people are out to break his record, so he sets out to break it himself. The three travel all over the country locating different birds and competing against each other, and it seems that all three of them lose sense of what's really important in life.  Bostick isn't paying attention to his wife (Rosamund Pike).  Brad has a terrible relationship with his father, and Stu is watching his...

Kiss of the Damned Starring Josephine de La Baume, Milo Ventimiglia, Roxane Mesquida, Anna Mouglalis Directed by Xan Cassavetes One night the mysterious Djuna (Josephine de La Baume) meets screenwriter Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia) at a video rental store, and romance blossoms almost immediately.  Djuna is apprehensive, however, because she's a vampire and she doesn't want to fall for a mortal man.  One night she confesses everything to him, and he allows her to bite him, making him a vampire as well. The two begin a relationship and everything is going good.  They don't hunt humans but rather drink the blood from animals, and they live a very civilized existence.  That is, until Djuna's wild sister Mimi (Roxane Mesquida) visits.  She embraces the vampire world and everything it entails - including feasting on humans.  Her wild, reckless ways threaten Djuna and Paolo's relationship as well as threatening to expose them to the public. I could see...

The Conjuring Starring Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston Directed by James Wan Husband and wife Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren are nationally known spirit hunters.  Ed is a demonologist and Lorraine is a clairvoyant, and together they've helped countless people with their haunted lives, but there's one story that they never told until now. Carolyn (Lili Taylor), Roger (Ron Livingston) and their five daughters just moved into a quaint house in Rhode Island in the early 70s, and almost immediately strange events surrounded the family.  What first started off as bumps and creeks soon turn more sinister, causing Carolyn to turn to the Warrens for help before whatever is haunting them destroys the family from within. Director James Wan ("Saw," "Insidious") is the new face of horror.  He consistently delivers powerful films that haunt people to their innermost parts, and "The Conjuring" is ...

Movie 43 Starring Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry Directed by Bob Odenkirk "Movie 43" is a sketch comedy movie that features several mini-movies that have nothing to do with the other. Sketches include a blind date where there's more to the man than meets the eye, home schooled parents who want to give their son the "complete high school experience," a young girl going through the trials of womanhood, and a truth-or-dare game that goes way beyond the limits. "Movie 43" is well known for its delectable list of veteran A-list actors including Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Naomi Watts, Dennis Quaid, Elizabeth Banks, Josh Duhamel, Emma Stone, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth and Uma Thurman, to name a few.  To think that these famous, prestigious, incredibly talented actors would lend their names to such drivel astounds me.  The film seems like it was written by some fifteen year old who thinks the funniest things ...

Apocalypto Starring Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez, Jonathan Brewer, Morris Birdyellowhead Directed by Mel Gibson In the final years of the Mayan civilization, Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood) and his village is attacked by other Mayans who take the men captive.  Before they attack he's able to hide his pregnant wife and young son in a well so they're not spotted, but can't get back to them because he gets captured.  As he and his people trek to the Mayan pyramids, his mind is always on his family and how he could get back to them. After escaping his captors, Jaguar Paw uses his forest to aid in getting back to his family and stopping the enemy Mayans from re-capturing and killing him.  The movie begins with a quote: "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." W. Durant.  After the critical success of "The Passion of the Christ," Mel Gibson decided to tackle what might have happened to the...

Mama Starring Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nelisse Directed by Andres Muschietti A man brutally kills his wife and takes his children to an abandoned cabin in the woods, where he is subsequently killed by an evil spirit.  The children - Victoria (Megan Charpentier) and Lilly (Isabelle Nelisse) - grow up with this spirit for years before they're discovered and brought back to society.  Years of isolation have turned them into feral creatures, and it's up to their father's brother Lucas (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and his rocker girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) to bring them back to modern society.  It's not as easy as it seems, because it appears that the children were not the only ones brought back from the cabin. Taken as a "once upon a time" tale, the film suspends the issues of reality, especially the ending.  Throughout there's the typical "jump scares" and tense moments, but overall this...