JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Burke & Hare Starring Simon Pegg, Andy Serkis, Tom Wilkinson, Isla Fisher Directed by John Landis In Scotland in the early 1800s,old friends William Burke (Simon Pegg) and William Hare (Andy Serkis) are trying to make a living, but failing at it miserably.  One day while removing a dead body from Hare's failing apartment, they discover that the medical society will pay richly for fresh cadavers, and so they work with Dr. Knox (Tom Wilkinson) by getting him fresh corpses. When the corpses dry up, they set out to make their own by committing murders against the town's seediest, loneliest and most destitute people.  As the money rakes in, Burke gets the courage to finance an all female Macbeth production featuring a girl he has a crush on, Ginny (Isla Fisher).  As the body count rises, however, the police investigate the multiple disappearances, and they close in on the bumbling duo, threatening to bring their dark crimes to light. Based on a true story ...

Ghost Story Starring Fred Astaire, Melvyn Douglas, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., John Houseman Directed by John Irvin Old friends Ricky (Fred Astaire),  John (Melvyn Douglas), Edward (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) and Sears (John Houseman) formed a secret society known as the Chowder Society, and meet all the time to tell each other ghost stories, all the while harboring a real ghost story that they all share. When Edward's son David (Craig Wasson) dies under mysterious circumstances, he calls home David's twin brother Don (Craig Wasson) to the funeral and to help him with some assets.  As soon as Don arrives, the men's secret comes to light, as they're being hunted by the spirit of Eva Galli (Alice Krige), a woman they inadvertently killed fifty years ago.  As the spirit hunts the men down one-by-one, it's up to Ricky and Don to find the woman's body and put her to rest for good. Based on a novel in 1979, "Ghost Story" is, simply, a ghost story.  T...

Fast & Furious 6 Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Luke Evans Directed by Justin Lin After the events in Rio, Dom (Vin Diesel) and his gang are living the lives of luxury outside the United States, since they are still fugitives.  Brian (Paul Walker) becomes a father after Mia (Jordana Brewster) gives birth, and everyone else is enjoying the spoils they earned from Rio. One day Dom is visited by Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), with a proposition: help him take down Special Forces solder Owen Shaw (Luke Evans).  At first Dom isn't interested, but Hobbs shows him a picture of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Dom's former flame, whom he thought was dead. Dom gathers the gang together and, with the promise of amnesty, agree to help Hobbs with the assignment.  They discover Letty is working for Shaw, and getting her back and stopping Shaw would be more difficult than they first imagined.  With some insane car chases, airplanes, and even a tank, the...

The Collection Starring Josh Stewart, Emma Fitzpatrick, Christopher McDonald, Lee Tegesen Directed by Marcus Dunstan There is a serial killer on the loose, but it doesn't stop Elena (Emma Fitzpatrick) and her friends from attending an underground party.  Unfortunately for her friends and everyone else at the party, it's crashed by the killer, known as The Collector (Randall Archer), who brutally murders everyone at the party, except for Elena, who leaves the dance floor before the carnage begins.  She goes to a room and finds a red box, and opens it to find Arkin (Josh Stewart), a man who was abducted by the Collector.  Together they try to flee, but Elena is taken by the Collector while Arkin manages to escape. Arkin is then visited in the hospital by Lucello (Lee Tergesen), who's been a protector of Elena since she was young, and was hired by her rich father (Christopher McDonald) to track her down and bring her home safely, and in doing so he needs Arki...

Saint Nick Starring Egbert Jan Weeber, Bert Luppes, Caro Lenssen, Huub Stapel Directed by Dick Maas In 1492, an evil Saint Nicholas terrorized a village, killing men, women and children with the aid of his minions.  The remaining townspeople decided to get their revenge by setting his boat on fire, killing him and all his henchmen in the process. In 1968, a family is horribly butchered by a zombie Saint Nick, and only one child survives. In present time, the child is now a police investigator who's obsessed with finding Saint Nick, so much so that the other cops on the force make fun of him for it, especially since it's December 5th, which, in Amsterdam, is Christmas.  But the laughs soon turn to chills when the zombie Saint Nick returns (since it's a full moon) and wreaks havoc in Amsterdam, leaving the cops clueless and the investigator on the hunt with a young man the police wrongfully accused of committing the crimes. There's been several Santa ...

Dog Soldiers Starring Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd, Emma Cleasby, Liam Cunningham Directed by Neil Marshall A team of British soldiers head to Scotland for a military exercise against a special forces army, but finds their enemies already dead and devoured by some evil force.  Only one man remains, and they take him captive, but they too come under attack from the flesh-eating creatures.  A local woman picks them up and takes them to an isolated home, where they hunker down against an army of werewolves whose only desires are to hunt and eat. I've seen this film on several lists online of the best horror films ever made.  I could never understand this, because seeing the previews it looked tame, boring, and almost laughable.  Plus werewolf movies are hardly done right, with very rare exceptions ("An American Werewolf in London," the first "Howling").  So maybe it was my skepticism going into the film, but I actually quite enjoyed it.  I loved...

The Impossible Starring Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona While vacationing in Thailand,  Maria (Naomi Watts), her husband Henry (Ewan McGregor), and their three young sons Lucas (Tom Holland), Thomas (Samuel Joslin) and Simon (Oaklee Pendergast) fall victim to the horrible tsunami that destroyed countless lives the day after Christmas in 2004.  Maria and Lucas are separated from the others, and think them dead.  Maria is badly injured and with the help of her young son make it to a village of Taiwanese villagers who help Maria with her wounds before taking her to a local hospital, where she endures surgeries and internal bleeding. Meanwhile, Henry and the two youngest children are holding up at what's left of the hotel when people come to take them to a hospital.  Henry sends the children away while he goes in search of Maria and Lucas, hoping against all hope that they're still alive. "The Impo...