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Don't Move

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Don't Move Starring Kelsey Asbille, Finn Wittrock, Moray Treadwell, Daniel Francis Directed by Adam Schindler & Brian Netto If a woman is paralyzed in the woods and chased by a killer falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound? While in real life this sort of scenario is terrifying and haunting, "Don't Move" takes away any tension, dread, suspense or excitement and replaces it with mundane, generic moments that you've seen in numerous films like this, where all of a sudden everyone and their mother makes the stupidest mistakes possible (and other people will use the excuse that this would happen in real life too, and I call BS on that). It's surprising that this by-the-books film wasn't just directed by two people, but written by two people as well - it's like the running gag with Beyonce's "Run the World (Girls)" and Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody," where Beyonce's song involving repetitious words was

Saturday Night

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Saturday Night Starring Gabriel LaBelle, Rachel Sennott, Cooper Hoffman, Willem Dafoe Directed by Jason Reitman "Saturday Night Live" has been a television staple for nearly fifty years, and it's hard to imagine the television landscape without it - but it almost never came to fruition. It took a lot of luck and skill to make it happen, and only through the revolutionary lens of Lorne Michaels was it able to be achieved, even by the skin of his teeth. On October 11, 1975, Lorne Michaels (Gabriel LaBelle) arrives at the NBC building to prepare for his show, "Saturday Night," which would air in ninety minutes. A live sketch comedy act, the show seemed a mess from the start - the actors run amok, there's no script, the sets appear unsafe, and everyone is running around like crazy. Michaels tries to maintain control with his boss Dick Ebersol (Cooper Hoffman) who tells him that NBC wants them to fail because they make more money airing reruns of Johnny Carson, b

Conclave

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Conclave Starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto Directed by Edward Berger To say the Catholic Church has had a rough go for awhile would be an understatement, as accusations have abounded about child abuse at the hands of clergy and, equally as alarming, the Church's attempt to cover them up. Pope Francis has been able to resolve some of those issues and has bridged a gap between the more conventional, stoic Church of the past and incorporating modern views for a new generation, but there's still a lot of work to do. The Catholic Church is still steeped in old traditions, and the overall concept itself seems against religious teachings. The Pope is supposed to be protected from error when he speaks of matters of faith and morals, the human connection to God, which is something Jesus Himself is supposed to be, the bridge between God and man. "Conclave" takes a fictionalized look inside the mysterious practice of electing a new Pope, and

Venom: The Last Dance

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Venom: The Last Dance Starring Tom Hardy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Juno Temple, Rhys Ifans Directed by Kelly Marcel The Sony Spider-Man Universe is, to say the least, not doing well. For a cinematic universe that has the title of the main character who hasn't appeared in any films thus far, it only adds to the lack of excitement these films carry. Essentially it's a Spider-Man Adjacent Cinematic Universe that features Spider-Man villains (or antiheroes) as opposed to the Web Slinger himself. The results haven't been generous, with the likes of "Morbius" and "Madam Web" getting eviscerated by critics and general movie-going audiences alike.  The only films that have somewhat escaped this dour fate is Tom Hardy's "Venom" series, but even they have things lacking (most notably "Venom: Let There be Carnage," which wastes one of Marvel's biggest, scariest villains in a PG-13 humdrum of a movie who's short runtime lacks any deep charac

Wolfs

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Wolfs Starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Amy Ryan, Austin Abrams Directed by Jon Watts Sometimes you can hold the weight of a film solely on the performances, especially with actors who've worked so much together that they're best friends in the real world, and doesn't feel like acting anymore. Two of these actors are George Clooney and Brad Pitt, who've appeared together in seven films and are well-known buddies outside the movie set, and both are good natured pranksters who's rapport with each other is effortless and seamless. So when they come together for a generic, by-the-books caper movie, it elevates it beyond mediocrity due to their charismatic performances. When Manhattan District Attorney Margaret (Amy Ryan) brings a young man (Austin Abrams) to her hotel room, she's shocked when he accidentally dies. Not wanting to draw attention to the fact, she calls a mysterious number, and a Man (George Clooney) arrives to clean up the mess. He works alone, and p

The Mouse Trap

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The Mouse Trap Starring Simon Phillips, Sophie McIntosh, Mackenzie Mills, Madeline Kelman Directed by Jamie Bailey Lately the beloved classics have entered the public domain, most notably Winnie the Pooh, meaning their characters can be used for free without paying royalties to the owner. The result, as everyone now knows, is turning our beloved childhood icons into killing machines, again most notably Winnie the Pooh in two horror movies, and being the center of the upcoming Poohniverse cinematic universe. Not wanting to be left out on the gory fun, Mickey Mouse has also become public domain (well, at least his Steamboat Willie iteration from 1928), and literally the day that happened the trailer for the then-titled "Mickey Mouse Trap" came out. Renaming it "The Mouse Trap," the film itself is a dull, uninspired mess of a movie with the worst acting possible, the most nonsensical story, and the lamest, tamest kills you could imagine. It's almost Alex's (Sop

Woman of the Hour

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Woman of the Hour Starring Anna Kendrick, Daniel Zovatto, Nicolette Robinson, Tony Hale Directed by Anna Kendrick I'm a huge true crime fan, and I've heard the story of "The Dating Game Killer" Rodney Alcala, who went on the classic game show in 1978 despite already having murdered numerous women. He would go on to win that show and score a date with Cheryl Bradshaw, but fortunately for her she never followed through with their vacation, leading Rodney feeling rejected and continuing his murder spree until he was eventually caught and imprisoned for his crimes - even though he was only charged with eight confirmed deaths when he could've been responsible for up to 130. First-time director Anna Kendrick tackles the story in "Woman of the Hour," but also touches on misogyny both then and now, and how women aren't usually heard like they're supposed to. Throughout the 1970s, Rodney Alcala (Daniel Zovatto) went on a string of murders, killing women i